I am visiting my local chain coffee shop.
Me: “Cappuccino, please.”
Barista: “Sorry, we only have plant milks today.”
Me: “Oh, no, thank you! Can I have an Americano instead?”
Barista: “Do you want milk in that?”
Me: *Blinks slowly*
Back in the 1960s, my father-in-law took early retirement. He and my mother-in-law set about building their own house in rural Wales and lived in a small caravan on the site. He hired bricklayers and roofers but did everything else himself with help from my husband and me.
When he reached the stage of needing the interior walls plastered, he asked around but could not find a plasterer who was willing or available to do the job. Then, one day, a man came to the door and offered his services, saying he was a plasterer who had been made redundant and fallen on hard times, and he and his little dog were sleeping in a nearby farm’s barn.
[Father-In-Law] was a bit sceptical about his story, but [Mother-In-Law] looked at the dog and realised that, although the man looked scruffy, the dog was well-fed and happy. She persuaded [Father-In-Law] to give him a chance, so he was told to plaster one small room as a trial.
He made a great job of that room and was hired to do the rest of the house, while my [Mother-In-Law] made sure he had one good meal each day. With the money the plasterer made, he was able to find somewhere to stay. Following recommendations from my in-laws, he was able to get more work, and he went from strength to strength, all thanks to [Mother-In-Law] noticing that he had taken good care of his little dog through his rough times.
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One of the public libraries where my canine partner, Baldur, serves as a reading therapy dog is temporarily shutting down some of their programs due to major remodeling. The area where the kids read to us is going to be one of the rooms affected. We are saying goodbye to the librarian after our last session.
Me: “Just let me know when you are able to start the reading program again. We’ll be happy to return.”
Librarian: “Oh, definitely. We really want to see Baldur here again!”
After an unflattering pause…
Librarian: “And you, too, of course!”
Related:
It’s Not Baldur’s Fault He Has No Thumbs!
Swoop And Squat And SCURRY AWAY!
I work as a translator for an insurance company that’s connected with a bank. I also do a little freelance translation on the side through an agency, but it’s very clear in my freelancer profile that I cannot do any work for a bank or an insurance company because of a conflict of interest. Most of the people at the agency who contact me are very respectful of this.
One Friday afternoon, I get a call from an agency person I haven’t spoken with before.
Agency: “Allo. We have this rush document that has just come in. We know that you are fast and good and that you do your freelancing on weekends. Could you have this file done by Monday for us?”
Me: “I’d love to help you out. Who is the translation for?”
Agency: “Let me see… Ah, oui, it is for [Bank].”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s stated right in my freelancer profile that I can’t take any work for any banks or insurance companies because it would be a conflict of interest with my day job.”
Agency: “Ah, bon? Okay, then, chérie, don’t do it for the bank. Do it for me!”
UGH, no, thank you.
I was thirty-two when I first started learning how to snowboard. I bought my own helmet. Being an adult student at that time, I bought the cheapest I could get, so it was white and pink with cute drawings on the side.
People often think I am younger than I am due to my Asian genes and height. My suit was also oversized because it was my mother-in-law’s. My husband said he felt like he was taking a niece to her snowboard lesson. He was not the only one thinking that.
Me: “Hi. My class is going up this hill now. Can I use my points ticket?”
Lift Operator: “No. You need to buy the day pass.”
Me: “Oh. I would like to have the two-day pass, then.”
Lift Operator: “Okay, but…” *Stares intently at me*
Me: “But?”
Lift Operator: “I need to ask. Are you a child or an adult?”
I did contemplate for a short while whether I should have said that I was a child. However, I thought it wouldn’t bring good Karma. In the end, I did get the adult ticket, and I didn’t break any bones while learning to snowboard.
