Lucky Number Thirteen

, , | Washington, DC, USA | Hopeless | July 8, 2016

(It’s my thirteenth birthday, and my big request for my present is a day trip to see the Smithsonian in D.C, about four hours drive from my house. After getting up super early we make the long drive, and visit the Natural History Museum, which is incredible! Afterwards, we go find a pizza place to eat at.)

Mom: *mentions something about my birthday as the waitress passes*

Waitress: *smiles* “Oh? It’s your birthday?”

Me: *internally dreading the idea of being sung to in front of people* “Yeah! I’m thirteen!”

Waitress: *winks* “Don’t worry, honey, we don’t do the singing thing here, but we do have something special for birthday girls!”

(Cut to about ten minutes later, and she deposits an adorable plushie dog in my arms! I don’t know who you are, waitress, but thank you so much! That was really sweet, and I still have the dog, who I have dubbed Max. And of course, thank you mom and daddy for an INCREDIBLE birthday! That could not have been cheap, but I will appreciate it forever!)

Fit For The Job

, , | | Hopeless | July 6, 2016

(I’m the owner of a gym that is open 24/7. We get a new member who seems to be there all day. I think nothing of it until I show up one day at 8 am and the man is sleeping in the male locker room.)

Me: “Hey, you all right there?”

Man: *wakes up* “Huh?! Oh, sorry! I’m usually up before anyone gets here. Um… is there a problem?”

Me: “Did you just fall asleep in the gym?”

Man: “Sorry. See, the thing is, I’m homeless. I spent what little money I had left on a membership here so that I had roof above my head at all times.”

Me: “Ooookay, but, how do you eat?”

Man: “I’d… rather not answer that.”

Me: “What, you steal our cash or something?”

Man: “What? No! No, I don’t! I just ask the other members to treat me. I feel

horrible as I can’t pay them back.”

Me: “I see. Hey, are you good with the equipment we use here at the gym?”

Man: “Uh… yeah. Why?”

Me: “You’ll get half salary until you’ve treated all members who treated you to food. For the time being, you’re a janitor; you’re in charge of making sure everything works properly. All right?”

Man: “Y-you mean to tell me you’re hiring me?!”

Me: “Have you done drugs or do you have an alcohol problem?”

Man: “No! I hate both things! I was fired because my now ex-wife slept with my ex-boss and he had me fired when I found out!”

Me: “… oh.”

(Four years later and he’s now my most trusted employee!)

Originally posted on Not Always Working.

Tipping Over The Top

, , , | CA, USA | Hopeless | July 6, 2016

(I am the customer. I’ve had bariatric surgery so I’m very limited on what and how much I can eat. My husband likes a certain dish at this restaurant, so we go and I as usual order a glass of water. I usually eat a third of his salad and maybe a bite of his seafood. I feel really guilty about not ordering a meal, so to make ME feel better, I always double tip the server. I get the bill, see the little calculation for tip on the bottom, and doubled the 20%… in cash. The server looked at me like she was going to cry.)

Server: “Oh, you don’t have to do that!”

Me: “It makes ME feel good; because I’ve had bariatric surgery and why should you still do all that work to serve us even though I don’t eat?”

(She was overcome; I guess that’s the nicest anyone had been to her that day.)

It’s A Retail Thing

, , | New Britain, CT, USA | Hopeless | July 5, 2016

(I work at a sandwich shop. One of the customers, who comes in every single day, is a cashier at a grocery store across the way, and I pretty much hate him. Nothing specific, but every time he comes in he is completely disengaged from the employee serving him and he snaps at you if you ask him to repeat part of his order, or groan out loud if you ask if he wants a value meal. Whenever he comes in I brace myself for the most awkward order ever, yet I must be as professional but plastic as humanly possible, and I am prepared that no matter what I do I will get it wrong somehow. I see him walking across the parking lot, and he already has THAT face on, like he is already in an impatient mood, but I do something different. I look up, and instead of bracing for the worst, I physically relax myself and put on a big, tired smile. The customer before him has just finished their order, packed up, and passed him going out the door. I greet the regular with my big tired smile and gesture at the gentleman who just left.)

Me: “That guy. He’s usually so great, but I don’t know what I did today. Everything was wrong. It wasn’t like, anything specific, but he kept snapping at me and I didn’t know what to do.”

(I am lying. The previous customer did no such thing.)

Me: “I’m glad you’re the next customer. I don’t know what I’d do if the next customer was worse.”

Regular: “Oh?”

Me: “Yeah, you’re pretty low key when someone messes up because you totally get that it’s not on purpose; it’s just a customer service thing.” *gesturing at his name badge* “I’m just glad I’ve got a pleasant friendly face to deal with right now; you’re one of my easy customers, and I appreciate it. So, yeah, bread. You usually get wheat, right?”

(The rest of the transaction went SO MUCH SMOOTHER. As I worked we spent a minute chit chatting about customers in general and how our days were. When I asked him to clarify part of his order he just smiled and repeated himself gently instead of snapping this time. He didn’t get annoyed with my scripted upsell asking if he’d like to “make it a meal,” he paid, and he left. And every other time after that he came in, he WAS, FOR REAL, the most low-key, pleasant customer I had, and he would look for me specifically to handle his order. Turns out I am the tamer of beasts!)

You’ve Got A Ticket To Ride

, , | USA | Hopeless | July 1, 2016

(I’m at a theme park with my friends. It’s towards the end of the day, and I’m out of tickets, but I’m still enjoying myself by watching my friends go on rides. They decide to go on the teacups and I’m prepared to wait.)

Operator: “There’s room for one more. You can go with your friends.”

Me: “Oh, I ran out of tickets.”

Operator: *shrugs and motions his head towards my friends* “Go ahead.”

Me: “Oh, my goodness!, Thank you!”

(After the ride was done we were joking and laughing while we waited for the guy to let us out, but the operator just looked at us, smiled, and let us go a second time for free! It made me smile for the rest of the day.)

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