That’s Now You Start A New Year!

, , , , , | Working | January 1, 2018

(This was about ten years ago on New Year’s Day. It is my then-boyfriend’s birthday and I am out with his family for dinner at a well-known Chicago-style pizza place. We have ordered three pizzas and are talking while waiting for our food, when our waitress comes walking towards our table with a tray of food. The waitress trips and drops the whole tray of food on the table next to ours.)

Waitress: “F***.” *leaves the food and tray where it is and storms out*

Boyfriend’s Mom: “Was that our food?”

Me: “Do you think she’s coming back?”

(After a few minutes, another man comes out.)

Manager #1: “Hi, folks, I’m sorry to tell you that was your food. I’m the manager; your waitress has walked out. If you would tell me what you ordered, I’ll re-order it for you. It’ll be on us.”

(We reorder all our food and a few salads in the meantime. We are waiting and talking for about five minutes when another employee comes up to us.)

Manager #2: “Good evening, folks. I’m so sorry about this. I’m the assistant manager. What was your order? I’ll go check on it.”

(We repeat everything we had just told the first manager, including the two salads that we’d recently ordered. We continue to talk for another ten minutes when a new waiter comes out with four salads.)

New Waiter: “Hello, I will be your waiter. Here are your salads. What pizzas did you order?”

Boyfriend’s Dad: “We only ordered two salads.” *he then repeats our pizza order*

New Waiter: “Oh, keep the salads. I will check on your pizza.”

(About twenty minutes later, NINE pizzas came out. They told us to keep them, and it was all on the house!)

Don’t Make Me Up To Be Racist

, , , , | Working | December 31, 2017

(I have been getting my makeup done at a department store, by an employee of who is desperate to sell me pretty much half her stall. I have been sat for about half an hour.)

Me: “How much longer is this going to take?”

Employee: “Just a couple more minutes.”

(Fifteen minutes later:)

Employee: “And… done!”

(She hands me a mirror.)

Me: “Umm…”

Employee: “Good, huh? The foundation and blush are £50 each for the 250ml containers, and—”

Me: “You made me look like Bob the Drag Queen.”

Employee: “I don’t know who that is, but if you like it, sure.”

Me: “Well, she’s a drag queen, and she’s black.”

Employee: “Is she pretty?”

Me: “Yes, but you’ve literally given me blackface.”

Employee: “But she’s pretty, which means you’re pretty!”

Me: “I’d like you to remove it, please. I’m not going anywhere with blackface.”

Employee: “I will if you agree to buy the products I used on you today.”

Me: “Agree to buy something that makes me look racist? Not on your life.”

(I ran off and bought some makeup wipes. I must have used about half removing everything she put on me. As I left she tried to alert security to my “stealing,” but the guard just rolled his eyes. I’m assuming I’m not the first incident.)

New Years Leave

, , , , | Working | December 31, 2017

(It is New Year’s Eve, and I have meticulously planned an evening out for my group of friends. We are planning on going to a certain restaurant in a nice part of town, and I call the restaurant several times over the course of a week to confirm our reservations. Our reservations are at 9. I am driving two people, so my other two friends have already gotten to the restaurant around 8:50. We get there at 9:10, but are stopped at the door and told no one under 21 is allowed after 9. Note that we are not far from 21, and look around 23-25.)

Me: *as kindly as I could manage* “I called several times and not once did they mention this to me or even ask my age. It wasn’t on the website either.”

Bouncer: “I can’t let you in.”

Me: “My two friends are already in there at the table. What am I supposed to do?”

(The manager comes out.)

Manager: *curtly* “You can come in but you have to leave at ten.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(It is now 9:20. The manager checks our table an obnoxious amount of times to make sure we know we need to leave, we are forced to down scalding hot food, and the manager never apologized for anything. Way to ruin New Year’s.)

Not The Flavor Of The Month

, , , , , | Working | December 30, 2017

(My mother’s boss visited the headquarters of a famous coffee brand in Switzerland for her work, and while there was given a flavour that she never tried before and really liked. She is also a regular at a [Coffee Brand] store in Paris and has a regular order there. This happens after she goes back to that store.)

Boss: “Hi, I’m here for my regular order, but would like to change it. I’d like to add some decaf and [flavour].”

Salesperson: “They haven’t had [flavour] since before I was born.”

Boss: “Can we please check on your computer?”

(The computer is checked by an older employee, who doesn’t find the flavour and insists it has been discontinued as well.)

Boss: “That’s strange, because I was talking with [Coffee Brand’s Vice-President] a few days ago, and he gave me [flavour].”

(Only after that did the older employee admit that [flavour] was actually a new flavour that hadn’t made it to the Paris store yet. They gave her free chocolates as an apology.)

Getting Things Clean For The New Year

, , , | Working | December 29, 2017

(It’s between Christmas and New Year’s Eve and, as this restaurant is near/on-campus, it’s almost empty. I receive my food and head to a small, secluded area around a corner when I see a employee with cleaning supplies sitting there playing with her phone.)

Me: “Did you already clean here? I could go sit somewhere else.”

(Rather than answering, the employee just gives me a dirty look. I like that spot and it doesn’t appear recently cleaned. So, I sit down nevertheless, take off my winter clothes and start eating when I notice her clearing her throat.)

Employee: “You need to eat somewhere else. I’m cleaning here right now.”

Me: “I’m sorry? I’m certainly not going to stack my food back on the tray and balance it to another table with my winter clothes in my arms while my burger falls apart. That’s why I asked you before sitting down.”

Employee: *calling around the corner* “[Manager]?”

Manager: *comes around the corner shortly afterwards* “Yes?”

Employee: “This customer ignored me when I told him that I’m currently cleaning here! Can you throw him out?”

(I’m just about to respond when the manager interrupts me.)

Manager: *to employee* “Firstly, we don’t throw customers out just because they are sitting somewhere we want to clean and we most certainly don’t call a manager to discuss such an option in front of the customer. But as we’re already here: Cut the crap. Everyone here knows you’re sitting around the corner your whole shift, playing with your phone and pretending you’re cleaning. Honestly, we only let you get away with it because the only thing worse for business than you doing nothing all day is — evidently — you dealing with customers. We were just waiting for you to do something stupid which, I’m happy to say, you just did. You can go home now. We’ll call you tomorrow about your termination.”