(We have just finished eating at a fast food restaurant. Suddenly, we hear an employee yell from the back.)

Employee: “I hate you, you stupid shake machine!”

Employee: “What drink would you like?”

Me: “I’d like a lemonade, please.”

Employee: “Okay, I’ll go get it for you.”

Me: “Okay.”

(The employee disappears around the corner to get my drink. Meanwhile, a slightly overweight man with a tag reading “Manager” comes along.)

Manager: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Me: “I’m being served already. You don’t need to serve me.”

Manager: “No.”

Me: “Sorry? No? Oh, well… um… I guess you can watch?”

(At this point, an employee comes back with a can of soda.)

Me: “Oh, no, sorry. I said lemonade.”

Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you said [Soda]! I’ll go and get you another drink.”

(The employee disappears around the corner again. Meanwhile, she has left the soda on the counter.)

Manager: “This is why I’m fat!” *grabs the soda and drinks it in one big gulp* “So, what drink would you like?”

Me: “Um, I’m already being served.”

Manager: “What drink would you like?”

Me: “I’m already being served.”

Manager: “I said, what drink would you like?!”

Me: “I said, I’m already being served!”

Manager: *angrily* “WHAT DRINK WOULD YOU LIKE?!”

Me: “I am being served.”

Manager: “OH! YOU’RE BEING SERVED!”

(When the employee came back with my lemonade, the cup was disturbingly warm to the touch. Giving up, I left the restaurant, only to open up the cup later and find out it wasn’t even lemonade—it was some sort of slimy gunk.)

(I go to my local superstore in search of sandpaper to fix a door frame. I spot an employee putting away groceries.)

Me: “Hi… where can I find sandpaper?”

Employee: *confused* “…Papaya?”

Me: “No, no. Sandpaper, for making things smooth.”

Employee: *confused* “Computer?”

Me: *giving up* “Thanks, I’ll try and find it myself.”

Employee: *sudden look of comprehension* “Shelf!”

(I walk into a sandwich shop and order two subs. When I make it to the cash register, I see two cashiers and hand one of them a coupon: two meals for $10.00. The cashiers aren’t sure how to use the coupon, so they begin arguing. After arguing for ten straight minutes, my friend — who has been waiting outside — pokes his head in the door to see if I am almost done. Hearing this, one of the cashiers cuts in.)

Cashier #1: “Is that your boyfriend?”

Me: “No, he’s—”

Cashier #2: “What a boyfriend! Sends a girl in to get him his food, and with a coupon!”

Me: “He’s really not my boy—”

Cashier #1: “I bet he told you to go get him a sandwich, didn’t he?”

Me: “He’s not my—”

Cashier #2: “Here, this cookie is for you. Break up with that jerk!”

Me: “But we’re not—”

Cashier #1: “I better not see you sharing this cookie with him. It’s for you!”

Me: “Okay, I won’t. I’ll just break up with him, then.”

Both Cashiers: “You do that!”

(I went outside and explained to my friend that I was “breaking up” with him because the sub shop cashiers told me to. All the while, the cashiers were inside applauding over my “break up.”)

(It is Sunday morning, after Black Friday. I have been working retail all weekend and I am worn out to the max.)

Me: “I had some crazy dreams.”

Boyfriend: “Apparently, you were checking people out.”

Me: “What?!”

Boyfriend: “You woke me up, and said, ‘Your total is $34.98. Do you have any coupons?'”

Me: “Oh, my God, no way!”

Boyfriend: “I shook you so you’d wake up a little and dream about something else. I just knew I couldn’t let you dream that.”

This story is part of our Black Friday roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

14 Times Employees Had To Fight For Their Lunch Break

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Read the Black Friday roundup!