If I Wasn’t Complaining Before…

, , , , , | Working | January 30, 2018

(I am going for a walk and stop at a coffee chain to grab a coffee. There’s nobody at the counter, but I’m not in a hurry, so I just stand there waiting, looking at the menu. Finally an employee comes out and sees me.)

Employee: “Are you being helped?”

Me: “No, not yet.”

(The employee then yells to some other employee in a back room.)

Employee: “Hey! Come and take this lady’s order!”

(The first employee isn’t actually doing anything, so I don’t know why she couldn’t take my order, but whatever. The second employee then comes out and joins the first one.)

Employee #2: “I was doing something in the back.”

Employee #1: “Whatever, this lady was complaining that nobody was out here.”

(At this point I haven’t said ANYTHING throughout the entire exchange. [Employee #1] walks away.)

Me: “Actually, I didn’t say anything.”

Employee #2: “Yeah, whatever.”

(They proceeded to take my order, and I proceeded to avoid that place whenever possible.)

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Must Taste Sacrilicious

, , , , | Working | December 26, 2017

(It is the week before Christmas, so nearly every business is playing Christmas carols, including the cafe that I’m in. Apart from me, the only other people in there are the two workers behind the counter.)

Carol: “…holy infant so tender and mild.”

Worker #1: *mumbling to herself, but still loud enough for me and the other worker to hear* “Just like a chicken wing.”

Me & Worker #2: *glance at each other in total silence, then both lose it*

Worker #1: *looking between the two of us* “What?”

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Learning Vietnamese Should Only Take A Day

, , , , , | Working | December 3, 2017

(I’m getting a SIM card in Thailand. I am ethnic Chinese with an American passport. I am learning Vietnamese so I put my phone to Vietnamese. Though I can only read 10%, I am trying to force myself to learn the rest, since I generally know what it should say. The conversation is in English unless stated.)

Employee: “Passport, please, and your phone?”

Me: “Here you go.”

Employee: *in Vietnamese* “SIM card… inside…”

Me: *in Vietnamese* “Oh, my Vietnamese isn’t very good.” *in English* “English, please?”

Employee: “Idiot. Then why use Vietnamese phone?!” *rolls eyes*

Me: *pause* “I’m learning it, too? I’m still a beginner.”

Employee: “Not good enough. If you learn it, learn it well!”

(He continued to glare at me, so I quickly got it done and left. I’m not sure what his problem was; perhaps some political/ethnicity nonsense?)

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Making Wi-Fries With That Potato

, , , , | Working | November 16, 2017

(My friend has been planning to quit for a while, and decides to go out in style.)

Friend: “[Company IT Department], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi there. My router has been having issues and my Wi-Fi isn’t working.”

(After discussing this for a few minutes, my friend figures out that it’s a simple problem; however, after trying to fix it, the customer is being difficult, so he decides to have some fun.)

Friend: “Okay, I think I know how to fix the problem, but you have to follow what I say to the letter. First, I need you to get a knife and a potato.”

Customer: “Umm, okay.” *leaves for a minute* “Okay, got it.”

Friend: “Now cut the potato in half.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Friend: “And rub each half on either side of the router.”

(To my friend’s disbelief, the customer actually did that for several minutes; however, management was listening in and my friend was soon fired, all according to plan.)

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