Back Up The Backup Of The Backup’s Backup

, , , , | Working | November 1, 2018

(My brother’s external hard drive has crashed/malfunctioned. We take it back into the store to see if they can repair it, recover the data, or get a refund. This is before cloud storage is a common, affordable backup option.)

Brother: “This hard drive isn’t working anymore, and I was wondering if you could fix it or recover the data I had stored on it.”

Salesperson: “We’ll see what we can do, but remember, you should always have a backup of your data!”

Brother: “Well, this was my backup of the information stored on my computer.”

Salesperson: “Yes, well, you should always have a backup just in case!”

Brother: *to me* “Does she expect everyone to have a never-ending chain of backup hard drives for their backup hard drives?”

(Luckily, despite not being able to repair it, the store issued us a refund and let us keep the drive. We found someone else to extract the data from it!)

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It’s A Kobra-Kat!

, , , , , | Working | September 18, 2018

(I am spelling my email address over the phone to get a confirmation notice for an order.)

Me: “A-S-K-A—”

Representative: “A-S-pay-A?”

Me: “No, A-S-K like ‘ask.’”

Representative: “Oh, A like ‘ask,’ S like ‘swan,’ K like ‘cat.’”

Me: “That’s right, A-S-K-A… No, wait…”

Representative: “I’m sorry; I mean K as in ‘cobra’!”

Me: “…”

Representative: “Kangaroo! Kangaroo.”

Me: “That’s the one.”

Representative: “Sorry, I’m really not awake yet.”

Me: “No problem. I was about to go right along with you!”

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(Ab)Used Car

, , , , | Working | July 3, 2018

(I’m 18 and I have just been medically discharged from the military. I have nothing to fall back on. I decide that the first thing I need to do is get a car. I have enough money saved up to buy a decent used car outright. My aunt, who works HR for a car dealership, tells me to browse their website and see if I find anything I like. I manage to find a car within my price range, but it is in Las Vegas. She puts me in touch with her “best” used car salesman to see if he can help me out.)

Salesman: *on the phone* “I see you are looking at a car in Las Vegas; is that right?”

Me: “Yes, would it be possible to bring it here?”

Salesman: “Yes, we can do that, but I’m a little concerned about the car because the dealership didn’t do the mechanic report; it was done by an outside source. But I did just get a 2007 Toyota Corolla in with only 63,000 miles on it. What were you looking to spend?”

Me: “Well I’m paying cash, so $3,500-$4,000 max.”

Salesman: *mumbles something about $4,000* “…but I can work with you because of who your aunt is. We were going to replace the tires, but I can not do that to save on cost, if you prefer.”

Me: “That sounds great! I can replace the tires myself. Can I come see it this weekend?”

Salesman: “Absolutely! See you then!”

(My boyfriend and I drove from San Diego to Los Angeles to see the car, and met my aunt at the dealership. When we arrived, I did an initial inspection of the car and everything looked great, so we went inside to finalize the deal. When we sat down, the salesman showed us a quote that was around $6,400, which was WAY out of my budget. I began to believe I wasn’t going to leave with this car. My aunt was livid, tearing into the salesman, asking him if that’s how they treat all of their customers, and if so, they needed to have a serious chat. Turns out they bought the car from the previous owner for $4,000 and there were all sorts of fees they had to charge to resell it. The salesman believed he could get the young girl buying her first car to finance and make more money. His manager got involved and, to save the situation they sold it to me for the $4,000 they bought it for, plus $540 in DMV fees they couldn’t waive. They took a HUGE hit on the car, and I walked away both scared and impressed by my aunt. The kicker? The tires were fine.)

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Getting A Piece Meal By Piecemeal

, , , , | Working | March 25, 2018

(I decide to pick up fried chicken for dinner. I go to a fast food chain that serves fried chicken and walk inside to place my order.)

Me: “I’d like to get the ten-piece, dark-meat-only bucket.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

Me: “I’d like to get that as a meal.”

Cashier: “Okay.” *presses buttons and a ridiculously high price comes up*

Me: “That’s very high. The dark-meat-only bucket costs a little less than the eight-piece bucket, but your total is a lot higher than the eight-piece meal.”

Cashier: “That’s because I rang you up for the twelve-piece meal with substitutions.”

Me: “That’s not what I wanted. The dark-meat-only bucket has thighs and drumsticks only, which is why the bucket cost is less than the eight-piece bucket. I want the dark-meat-only bucket, not the twelve-piece, as a meal.”

Cashier: “That can’t be made a meal. If you want a meal, you need to get either the eight-piece bucket or the twelve-piece bucket and request substitutions.”

Me: “What? Why can’t it be made a meal?”

Cashier: “Because it doesn’t come as a meal. You have to get either the eight-piece or twelve-piece bucket to get a meal.”

Me: “I’ve gotten it as a meal before.”

Cashier: “Well, they must have rung you up for one of the other buckets and did substitutions.”

Me: “That makes no sense. The price for the dark-meat-only bucket is a little less than the eight-piece bucket even though it has more pieces, and I’ve gotten all ten pieces in the past with a meal.”

Cashier: “You can order two additional pieces to go with your meal.”

Me: “That’s even more money, boosting the price of the actual bucket even higher. Why can’t that particular bucket be a meal? I’d like to talk to the manager.”

Cashier: “Okay, but he’s not going to tell you anything different.”

Me: “That’s fine, but I want to talk to him.”

(The cashier gets the manager.)

Manager: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi. Is it possible to get the ten-piece, dark-meat-only bucket as a meal?”

Manager: “Of course!”

(The manager pressed two buttons on the register, a more reasonable total came up, and he walked away. The cashier glared at me the rest of the time I was in the restaurant waiting for my order.)

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Making A House Call

, , , | Working | March 22, 2018

(I have a minor cold, so I can go to work. While I make sure I stay away from colleagues and keep hygiene in mind, I’m still quite foggy in my head.)

Customer: “I need to know what kind of color you used for those houses.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; we don’t keep that data. Most of the time it’s a special batch mixed especially for us.”

Customer: “What should I do?”

Me: “Well, you can look for a chipped-off piece of paint, or something with a similar color, and go to the paint store. They can compare colors for you there.”

Customers: “So, when you need to repaint those houses, that’s what you tell the painters to do?”

Me: “Yes, but they can take their charts along with them.” *I accidentally blurt out* “You can’t take your home to them.”

(There is a short silence, I realise what I just said, prepare for the worst, but the customer bursts out in laughter.)

Customer: “Thank you for this pleasant conversation; I needed this laugh.”

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