Do Not “Cross” Me

, , , , , , | Learning | July 4, 2018

At my younger sister’s school, there’s a girl who somehow came up with the idea that Roman Catholics — the earliest form of Christianity — are devil worshippers.

She’ll sit near my sister and her friends and give my sister nasty looks and rude comments.

One day, just as my sister finishes doing the sign of the cross, there’s a blackout. The girl is staring at my sister in horror, so my sister shrugs and says loudly, “It worked!”

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Driving You Around The U-Bend

, , , , , , | Right | April 17, 2018

(I’m the manager of the plumbing department at a hardware store. I’m also female, which has lead to some customers thinking I couldn’t possibly know anything about plumbing. Often, I pull out some knowledge so that they actually ASK their questions instead of grumpily sending “the girl” away. One day I walk up to one of our customers in the PVC pipe-fittings area. He’s holding an object wrapped in a plastic grocery bag.)

Me: “Good morning! Is there something I can help you with?”

Middle-Aged Man: “No. You wouldn’t know the answer. I can find it.”

Me: “Well, sir, you’re looking through our toilet flanges. Do you know if you have 3″ or 4″ PVC? Are you replacing a cast iron flange?”

Middle-Aged Man: “No! It’s not iron! It’s plastic!”

Me: “Okay, so do you know if it’s 3″ or 4″? We have one right here that will fit either, if you’re not sure!”

Middle-Aged Man: “No, that one won’t fit! It doesn’t match this one!”

(He holds up the item in the grocery bag. It’s a used toilet flange. Toilet flanges are what sit underneath the drain from your toilet. All of your waste passes through it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I have to ask you to take that item outside. It’s a biohazard.”

Middle-Aged Man: “No! They said I could bring parts inside! They said it was okay!”

Me: “Sir. We sell food here. That is a biohazard. It has been in contact with human waste. You have to take it outside.”

Middle-Aged Man: “They told me it was okay to bring parts in. Where is your manager?”

Me: “Sir. I am the manager. You still have to take it outside. Now.”

(At this point, he storms over to the Guest Services desk. I calmly follow him.)

Middle-Aged Man: “I NEED THIS HERE TO MATCH IT UP. IT CAME FROM MEXICO. I WRAPPED IT IN A PLASTIC BAG SO IT’S FINE, AND YOU SAID I COULD BRING IN MY PARTS!”

Me: *staying calm* “Sir, you can bring in a part, but the poop has to stay outside.”

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Unfiltered Story #96659

, , | Unfiltered | October 5, 2017

This wasn’t me, but my brother who relayed this story to me. He was working at Walmart for a few weeks. It should be noted that he has a taste for the finer things in life.

He was ringing up a family at the register who is buying back to school clothes for their high school aged son…
Son: I’m so glad that Wal-Mart has cheap shirts! I’ll never get a $20 shirt! What a waste!
Brother: Yeah, I know what you mean. You’ll never catch me in anything that costs less than $75. Thats just tacky. (He only wore Ralph Lauren polos to work there which cost roughly $90 each.)