Ain’t That The Bleeding Truth

| Related | January 5, 2017

(My sister and I are going down on a lift. It jolts slightly between floors and moments later my sister whispers in my ear.)

Sister: “I need a tampon!”

Me: “A tampon?”

Sister: “Did I stutter? Get me one!”

(I’m at a loss as to how I can make one magically appear, so I turn to the rest of the lift.)

Me: “ANYONE GOT A TAMPON?”

(My sister goes red in the face as two women look quizzically at me and then to my sister. One of them produces a single tampon from her handbag and hands it to her. The rest of the lift is relatively un-phased other than some smirking. My sister runs out and to the nearest toilet where I wait for her.)

Sister: *while coming out* “That was EMBARRASSING. Why would you do that?”

Me: “I’m a guy and we were in a lift. What else could I do?”

Sister: “I… I suppose you’re right. I guess I wasn’t thinking. Still embarrassing though!”

Me: *smirking* “Funny, too.”

(I still tease her about it from time to time.)

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They Know The Score

| Friendly | February 10, 2015

(I get on an elevator with two twenty-something men apparently discussing movie trailers.)

Man: “I mean, it looks really good. But stick a John Williams score behind it and you could say that about anything.”

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