Allow Us To Belch The Song Of Our People

| Learning | May 3, 2017

(My teacher has a friendly rivalry going on with another teacher, who teaches in the classroom below ours, about which class can sing the best. They constantly push each other around for that, and one morning my teacher has the following announcement:)

Teacher: “So, guys, you know [Teacher #2] has just stepped up her game of taunting us. Listen what she send me this morning!”

(He plays an audio recording of Teacher #2’s voice, who dares our teacher to make us sing so loud and clear she can hear it downstairs, jokingly saying our class is pathetic at singing.)

Teacher: “If I’m correct, they are having math now. Guys, grab your singing books; we’re going downstairs!”

(He marches us all to the class of the other teacher, who is indeed busy teaching math. We all enter the classroom, stand in the front, and all that Teacher #2 does is stare at our teacher.)

Teacher: “You wanted to hear them; there you have ’em.”

Teacher #2: *completely bewildered* “Okay, class, it seems that [Teacher #1] has something he wants to prove to us. Books down, and let’s listen to what he has to offer.”

Teacher: “Okay, guys, from the top!”

(We all belch out a song that is popular within our school and Teacher #2 stares at us with huge eyes. Our teacher is almost rising to the ceiling with pride. As we finish the song he turns again to Teacher #2.)

Teacher: “You challenged me. You can have it. I’d like to see you top that!”

(And he marched us all back to our own classroom. Teacher #2 never got her revenge. But d*** it was awesome!)

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Teach By Example

| Learning | April 24, 2017

(I am a teacher at a school for students with autism. The speech teacher relayed this story to me.)

Student: “Wait, you’re married?”

Speech Teacher: “Yep. I even have a kid.”

Student: “How long have you been married?”

Speech Teacher: “Three years.”

Student: “Oh, so you’re ready for a new wife, then.”

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Guess Who Can’t Read

| Learning | April 17, 2017

(I’m mentoring a little girl at one of the local elementary schools. She just turned five years old. We’re playing the game Guess Who and I just figured out what person it was.)

Me: “Is the person Tony?”

Little Girl: “Hmmm… what letter does Tony start with?”

Me: “[Little Girl], can you read?”

Little Girl: “No.”

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Not April Fooling Anybody

| Learning | April 5, 2017

(I’m volunteering in a year three classroom and it happens to be April Fool’s day. A student well known for messing about comes up to me at the start of the day.)

Student: “Miss! Miss!”

Me: “Yes?”

Student: “I saw a mouse.”

Me: *crouches to get on his level* “Is this an April Fool’s?”

Student: *barely able to contain himself laughing – so adorable* “Yes!”

Me: “Well done. You got me. Now go sit down.”

(He was absolutely thrilled his “prank” worked, and was actually fairly well behaved the rest of the day!)

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Well, That Explains Everything…

| Learning | March 28, 2017

(I am a teacher, chatting with a sixth grade student.)

Student: *voice cracks* “Hey, miss. Ug, voice crack.

Teacher: “Yep, that happens when you get older.”

Student: “How many times did your voice crack?”

Teacher: *laughing* “Girls grow up differently. Their voices don’t crack, but other things changes.”

Student: “What changes?”

Teacher: “Just different. Their body changes.”

Student: “Is it texting? Do girls change by texting?”

Teacher: *laughing* “Yep, puberty causes girls to text.”

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