(I am in fourth grade. The class has a substitute teacher. He seems normal, until I return from a trip to the bathroom to find him yelling.)

Substitute Teacher: “SIT DOWN!”

(I quickly return to my seat.)

Substitute Teacher: “As I was saying: you’re all idiots! You’re so stupid! You’re all going to work at dead-end jobs when you grow up! F*** you all!”

Classmate: “You can’t say that!”

Substitute Teacher: “Shut up, you little s***! You’re just a fat-a**!”

(Amazingly, the class basically returns to normal after that point, but we all go home and tell our parents what happened. The substitute is promptly fired. We move on to the middle school, where he is still employed. One day, I walk into sixth grade Spanish and there he is. Coincidentally, many of my same classmates are in the class.)

Classmate #2: “Oh, no… not him again.”

(A few minutes later…)

Substitute Teacher: “F*** you all!”

(He is fired after that episode too.)

(I’m an elementary education major, observing in a kindergarten classroom. One little girl waves me over, looking very excited.)

Little Girl: “Miss [my name]? You know my dreams?”

(I nod, but can’t get words out before she continues.)

Little Girl: “You’re in ’em. You’re always the one that fights the dragons!”

(I almost cry; it was the best compliment I’d ever received, hands down!)

(My fiancé and I are both assistants at the same school. I am walking some first graders back to class, when we pass my fiancé in the hallway.)

Little Girl: “Hey, look! There’s Mr. [last name]!”

Me: “Yeah, I see him!”

Little Girl: “You’re going to marry him?”

Me: “Yep, I sure am!”

Little Girl: *earnestly* “Does he know?”

Me: *trying hard not to laugh* “Well, yes! He’s the one who asked me!”

Little Girl: “And you said yes?”

Me: “Yep!”

Little Girl: shocked: “But you’re not even the same size! He’s bigger than you are!”

(As a 5′ 1″ full grown adult, I’m very glad marriageability isn’t based on size!)

(The year is 1964. I’m a second grade African American boy. My teacher is an elderly lady about 50 or 60. Every day I would come home with bruises because she would beat me with a ruler. One day my mom finds out and is furious.)

My Mom: “We are going to your school right now!”

(My uncle drives us there, and my mom marches right down to my classroom, interrupting the class.)

My Mom: “You!” *walks closer to the teacher* “Don’t you EVER lay a finger on my boy! If you have anything to say, you talk to me. I better not hear from him that you hurt him, because I’ll skin your a**! Got it?”

Teacher: “Y-yes, ma’am!”

My Mom: *to me* “Go sit down.”

Me: “Yes, mom!”

(The whole class remained silent that day. If it weren’t for my uncle being there, my mom would have killed her. By the way, the teacher never bothered me again!)

(I am teaching summer school. It is the afternoon, and we are playing a Jeopardy game covering a variety of topics.)

Question: “What is the capital of the United States?”

Student #1: *very serious* “England.”

Student #2: “No, that’s not right.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Student #2: “It’s Target.”