I Regret Nothing

, , , | Right | September 14, 2017

(I am a computer tech at an electronics retailer. A customer walks up to the counter.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you have [tuning equipment for a home theater system]?”

Me: “I would check with audio-video, down in the back.”

Customer: “Oh, I already did, they said you didn’t have it.”

Me: “Then we don’t have it.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Ma’am, if audio-video says we don’t have it, we don’t have it. They’re the ones who would know.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks…” *muttered as she walks away* “…for nothing.”

Your Ink Or Your Life

, , , , | Right | August 11, 2017

(There are usually a few days every winter where most stores in our mall close early due to bad winter weather. On this day, we close the store at three pm as the blowing snow has already caused many accidents, which then closes many main roads out of and into town. We close before it gets dark for the safety of our staff who would otherwise have to drive home or into work in the dark. Many other stores in the mall also close at three pm or even earlier that day. We have a sign on the door apologizing about being closed, and I have just let out the last customer and locked the doors, when a lady comes and yells at me through the doors.)

Customer: “WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”

Me: “Yes, sorry, we closed 10 minutes ago because of the weather.”

Customer: “ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I NEED INK!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “ALL I NEED IS INK! JUST LET ME GET MY INK!”

Me: “We’ve already taken all the tills off. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! CLOSING BECAUSE OF THE WEATHER! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!”

(She storms off, swearing.)

Me: *to myself* “It’s snowing so bad out you can’t even see across the road, but yes, it’s ridiculous not to expect people to drive in that for a minimum wage job. Sure.”

(My manager who lived out of town didn’t even drive home that night; she stayed in a hotel across the street.)

That Thinking Has Put Them Out Of Wet Pocket

| Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Right | March 7, 2017

(I work at the repair desk of a big electronics store. A customer brings in a phone which isn’t working. I go to the back to open it up and check the inside. It clearly has liquid damage. I return to tell the customer about it.)

Customer: “Liquid damage? How’d that happen?”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t know. Did you use it in the rain? Did you accidentally drop it in some water?”

Customer: “Well, we were riding our bikes the other day when it was raining a lot. We got soaking wet, and I had the phone in my pocket… No, that couldn’t be it.”

Has Some Bag Boy Baggage

, | UT, USA | Right | January 2, 2017

(I have just been operated on to remove a cancerous tumor. It was a minor surgery, but the location of the incision made walking somewhat uncomfortable, so I use a cane for a few weeks. On my way back to the computer department from a break, a woman stops me…)

Customer: *speaking slowly, carefully enunciating every syllable, and condescendingly polite* “Excuse me, young man.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Can you find someone to help me? I need to pick up a ROU-ter. It’s a thing for my com-PU-ter.”

Me: “Sure! Do you—”

Customer: “Someone in HERE—” *gestures at the computer department* “—might know about it.”

Me: “Got it. Are you looking for a wired router, wired gigabit, wireless B, wireless G, or wireless N?”

Customer: “Oh. Oh!” *she suddenly speaks normally* “Oh, I’m sorry!” *she gestures to my cane* “I thought… I thought you were, like, just a bag boy or something.”

Me: “Right… Let’s go look at those routers.”

(After that, she was like any other normal customer. I didn’t bother to comment on her ignorant assumptions that using a cane or that having a job as a “bag boy” was an indication of a mental handicap.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 22

, | Red Deer, AB, Canada | Right | May 6, 2016

(It is a busy day at work and the phone keeps ringing. Since I am the only person at customer service, I am supposed to answer the phones, and if I am on the phone and a customer walks up I am supposed to let them know that as soon as I finish on the phone I will help them with whatever they need.)

Me: *on the phone with the customer* “I hope I helped you with everything you needed. Thank you for calling, and please have a nice day.”

Customer: *tapping her fingernails on the counter* “FINA-F***ING-LY! I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes waiting for someone to help me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am terribly sorry, but I am the only one at customer service today, because my coworker called in sick, but I am here to help you with whatever you need. Do you want to do a return today?”

Customer: *pulls a box for a cordless phone out of a bag* “This phone won’t work anymore; I would like a refund.”

Me: “Okay, I would be happy to help. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: *huffing and puffing* “Why would I need my receipt? I bought it here and I would like a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our store policy is that without a receipt we cannot accept refunds on open-boxed products. Luckily, the receipt would still be in our system. Do you have the original method of payment with you?”

Customer: “I do.” *hands me her debit card*

Me: “Okay, great! I just need to know when you purchased the product.”

Customer: “Shouldn’t you already know that?! You have my debit card.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but we have to search for it by the date as well. We have regular customers that purchase so many things each month. It helps us find the exact date the product was purchased so we can reprint the receipt for you.”

Customer: “The product was purchased April of 2012.”

Me: *hands the customer her card* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return this. It is out of policy.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I shop here all the time!”

Me: “Our return policy is 30 days. Some items are only eligible for 14 day return policy, with a 14 day grace period. I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return this.”

Customer: “This is f****ng ridiculous! I’m going to [Competitor]. They do a return no matter what!”

Me: “Ma’am, I was customer service for [Competitor]; they are going to tell you the same thing, and because you never bought it there, they won’t return it.”

(The customer stormed out of the store. She pushed one of our GMs out of the way while she left. I made a phone call to the competitor store telling them she was on the way and they phoned all the other stores around the area. She never got her refund. She went on to our website and complained about me ruining the return for her.)

 

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