Just Type In ‘Born Yesterday’

, | Lansing, MI, USA | Right | January 20, 2016

(Whenever we access a customer’s account, they need to give us their pin number.)

Me: “All right, now, what’s your eight-digit pin number?”

Customer: “I don’t know… Oh! It’s my birthday!”

Me: *looking at them expectantly*

Customer: *looking at me expectantly*

Me: “aaannndddd what would that be?”

Having A Few Tech Errors

, | SC, USA | Working | December 16, 2015

(I’m dropping off a tablet with charging problems at the technical support desk of a national retail chain where I purchased the warranty to go with it. We’re almost finished with the last of the paperwork when this happens.)

Me: “Oh, great! You put down that it’s intermittent so the techs will see it. Now I’m sure they’ll get it right.”

Tech: *who’s checking me out* “Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry this is so frustrating. I have to put the information in the notes or our techs won’t know about it.”

Me: *signing the form* “Yes… ah… I was just saying… I was glad that…”

Tech: *sounding defensive and upset* “I’m sorry, it can be confusing, but I HAVE to have this information in the notes. Again, I’m sorry, but this is the way it has to be done.”

Me: *in shock* “Ah… yes… that’s very good… Thank you.”

Tech: *backing away, waving his hands as if to calm me down* “Ma’am, please… There’s no need to get upset. Our techs are going to work on this as quickly as possible for you.”

Me: “Oh, yes, I know. Should be about two to three weeks? Maybe a little longer if it takes them some time to replicate the—”

Tech: *nearly diving away from the counter as if I’m going to physically attack him* “Two or three weeks is the minimum. It could take longer than that though if they have trouble. You’ll get email notifications… Now, please… We’ve done what you ask… There’s no reason to be angry. You’ll get an email when it’s ready.”

Me: *just standing at the counter and holding the paperwork, watching him literally run away from the counter* “Ah… thanks?”

Forrest Grump

| Knoxville, TN, USA | Friendly | December 6, 2015

(I am the shift lead at the customer service desk in a big box electronics store. Usually the store will run a weekly sale of DVDs and Blu-rays for three to five dollars. The titles that will be on sale are advertised in the weekly sale paper and they are usually pretty random. In my particular store the sale bins for the Blu-rays is almost directly in front of the customer service desk. A customer is shuffling through the Blu-ray bin.)

Customer: “The paper said that you would have that Forrest Gump/Ultraviolet set… but I don’t see any.”

Me: “Well, sir, more than likely we have sold out of that title, but let me check our system to see if we have any still in the warehouse.”

(I check the computer system.)

Me: “Unfortunately it looks like we won’t be getting any more until Tuesday.”

Customer: “But the newspaper ad said you had them.”

Me: “Yes, but we have sold out of our current stock of that item. Let me check the system and see if any of the other nearby stores has the Forrest Gump/Ultraviolet Blu-ray pack.”

(I check the computer system again.)

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like you are in luck, the [Town twenty miles away] location has 30 in-stock.”

Customer: “I’m not driving all the way over there to get Forrest Gump.”

Me: “If you want, I can have the other location send us one over. You can pay for it now and still get the sale price.”

Customer: “What? You mean if you ship it over from there it won’t be here today!? It’s only 20 miles away.”

Me: “It would be here by nine am tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “But not today.”

(The customer swears under his breath and keeps rifling through the Blu-ray bin. I take pride in my ability to make customers happy so I am going to go the extra step to try to help this guy out. I check the computer system again and I notice that we have three copies of the ‘Forrest Gump’ Blu-ray in stock.)

Me: “Sir? I just checked our system and I saw that we have three copies of the Forrest Gump Blu-ray in stock. I can ring it up for the sale price instead of its normal price.”

(The customer’s face turns bright red.)

Customer: “But it’s not the combo pack!”

(The customer then yanks his arm straight up out of the Blu-ray bin causing several Blu-rays to fly up into the air and fall to the ground. I was not expecting this violent outburst and am speechless at the sight.)

Customer: “You have all this junk!”

(He flings more Blu-rays out and accidently steps on one, breaking the case and the disc)

Customer: “But you don’t have the movies that your ad says you do!”

(He flings another disc at me. My supervisor steps between me and the customer.)

Supervisor: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave the store. We can get outside and talk about whatever has got you riled, but I cannot let you tear up the store.”

(The customer turns even redder. I move behind my supervisor so that he is shielding me from the customer.)

Customer: “Your ad said you had the Forrest Gump/Ultraviolet Blu-ray! And you don’t! And this b**** told me to drive all the way to [Town 20 miles away] to get it! Why don’t you have the MOVIE?!”

(The customer clenches his fists and draws them down to his sides.)

Supervisor: “Okay, sir, but first things first I am going to need you to leave the store. You can tell me what happened, yell at me if you want, but let’s handle this OUTSIDE the store, Okay?”

(My supervisor grips the customer’s shoulder with his hand to let him know that he is definitely going to be leaving the store.)

Customer: “No! Don’t touch me!”

(The customer pulls a can of pepper spray out of his pants and blasts my supervisor with it. I am still standing behind my supervisor and am indirectly sprayed as well. My supervisor stumbles on one of the Blu-ray cases and the customer takes the opportunity to shove my supervisor off balance and ultimately on top of my arm. My supervisor is still reeling from the pain and does not realize he is crushing my limb. The customer takes the opportunity to run out of the store. The store manager ends up having to drive both my supervisor and myself to the emergency room. I end up having a broken arm from my supervisor crushing it when he landed on me. While we are waiting in the ER, we are approached by a police officer.)

Police Officer: “[Supervisor]? [My Name]?”

(We answer yes.)

Police Officer: “You are being charged with assault of an officer of the law.”

(The customer that flipped out about the ‘Forrest Gump/Ultraviolet’ Blu-Ray was a plain-clothes police officer. My supervisor and I were placed on leave without pay pending the investigation. The charges were ultimately dropped after the security camera footage and eyewitness testimonies showed that we clearly did nothing wrong. Before we returned to work we both received letters from the corporate office stating that we were both terminated from our positions due to it being an “at will employment” state and that neither one of us would be eligible for re-hire.)

This Conversation Is Going South

| Catonsville, MD, USA | Working | November 24, 2015

(This takes place before ordering items over the Internet was popular. I am about to travel abroad and need an outlet adapter to plug in electronic devices and, given that each country has its own wiring system, I’m unsure of what to order. This happens when I am on the phone with a popular electronics store.)

Me: “I’m traveling to Africa and I need to know which outlet adapter I should buy.”

Salesperson: “Which country in Africa?”

Me: “South Africa.”

Salesperson: “Yes, but which country in South Africa?”

Me: “South Africa.”

Salesperson: “What’s the name of the country you’re going to?”

Me: “The name of the country is South Africa.”

Not Much Assurance About The Insurance

| CA, USA | Working | October 26, 2015

(I work as a cashier at a well-known electronics chain. I am expected to offer a protection plan for products to a certain number of people a day, or else I will be questioned and possibly written up. One customer shows up at my till with a pair of earbuds for $5.99. The screen prompts me to tell him about a potential protection plan.)

Me: *bursts out laughing* “What? I’m sorry. May I ask you something?”

Customer: “Okay…?”

Me: *trying to keep a straight face* “Would you like buy a protection plan for your earbuds in case of accidental damage for $9.99?”

(The customer stares at me.)

Customer: “You’re kidding, right?”

Me: “Nope!”

Customer: “You know that’s more than the earbuds themselves, right?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “Why would I buy a protection plan for $9.99 when I could easily just replace the earbuds for another $5.99?”

Me: “Good question!”

Customer: “But you still asked me…?”

Me: “I know. It was just too funny not to offer it. Obviously, I knew you’d say no.”

Customer: “And you were absolutely right. I can’t believe you’re expected to try to sell something like that!”

Me: “Trust me, sir, neither can I….”

Page 8/41First...678910...Last