I am serving a customer on a Saturday night. I am advising them how to do something online.
Customer: “But it’s Saturday night. Isn’t the internet closed?”
Me: “No. The internet doesn’t close on Saturday nights.”
Customer: “Even though it’s after banker’s hours?”
Me: “Even though it is in fact after banker’s hours.”
They left a very kind, but very confused senior.
Caller: “Would I be able to get a replacement for my iPhone that got damaged on my vacation?”
Me: “If you send it in for repair, we can have a look at it.”
Caller: “I can’t really send it in. I dropped it.”
Me: “Did you drop it somewhere unobtainable?”
Caller: “Kind of. I dropped it into a volcano.”
Me: “A volcano?”
Caller: “Yeah, I was in Hawaii, and they take you on these helicopter tours, and I put my phone out too far, and… well…”
Me: “I don’t think we can replace it, then, sir.”
Caller: “I thought I would try.”
We end the call. A while later, I hear one of my coworkers speaking to a customer.
Coworker: “No, sir, it doesn’t matter that it’s only a ‘mildly active volcano’…”
It is Black Friday and most of the customers are in bad moods since they’ve been waiting for hours to come in and stand in more lines. One woman, however, is a special case. After yelling at everyone in my department about how she NEEDS the laptop that is on sale despite it being sold out, she proceeds to tell us:
Customer: “I’ll have the store closed down because I work with the city, and I know the fire marshal! You have too many people in the store!”
She actually calls him!
We tell her to leave, and nothing happens to the store. However, we called the fire marshal as well to report what she said.
Fire Marshal’s Department: “Yes, we understand. There’s not a lot I’m allowed to tell you, but I can say that we’ve received similar complaints about a person matching your description pulling similar behavior, which is considered an abuse of power. We will take the appropriate action.”
We never saw her again!
I answer a customer call that has been escalated to me by another agent. The caller wants to return a printer some months after it was purchased.
Me: “Do you have a receipt?”
Caller: “No.”
I use some creative searching, and I am able to look it up and email him a copy to boot. The official return limit is two weeks, but in actuality, the computer will let you do up to thirty days, and a manager (I am one) can override just about any time length if we have a good enough reason.
Looking up the receipt in his customer account, I can also see that he was a jerk to the associate who originally answered the phone.
Me: *Flatly* “The return limit is two weeks, and we can’t help you. I suggest that you call the manufacturer since it probably has a one-year warranty through them.”
Caller: *Yelling* “It’s ridiculous that I can’t return it!”
Me: “If you know of a store that lets you return electronics six months after you bought them, you let me know because I’d love to shop there. Our limit is two weeks.”
Theoretically, I could have helped him — I’ve done returns that were older than that — but not after he chewed out the other associate and then me. Now he can go shop at our competition.
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An older couple comes into the store, looking a little lost and wary. Something tells me I should go say hello.
Me: “Hi! Can I help you with anything today?”
Older Lady: “Hi, yes, we’re looking for something that lets you see the other person on a call.”
Me: “Oh, video-calling! Yes, we have lots of devices that can help with that. Did you want it on a bigger screen, like on a tablet? Or a smaller screen, like on a phone?”
Older Gentleman: “We… don’t really know. We only just have the old phone, so…”
He looks at a loss. As this is a sparsely populated part of the US, with lots of rural towns, it’s not uncommon to see older folk being forced into learning newer technology to keep in touch with relatives who have moved far away. I decide that today the day that I will help them figure all this stuff out.
Me: “Maybe if you told me what you’re trying to do, I can help suggest the best thing for you?”
Older Lady: “We’d like to call our children on the coast. They said we could see them if we got some kind of smaller TV or something?”
Me: “Sounds to me like they have what we call a ‘tablet’. If that’s all you’re going to use it for, we have some very affordable options that can do that. I’ll show you!”
I bring them over to the relevant section of the store and show them a basic model that also happens to be on sale. It’s just a little over $100.
Me: “If all you’ll be using it for is video calling, this should be more than enough. I feel I have to ask, though: do you have Internet at home?”
Older Gentleman: *Looking worried again* “No. Do we have to?”
Me: “Not necessarily! You said you had an old phone. Is that a landline or a cell phone?”
Older Gentleman: “It’s in my pocket!”
He gets out an older model of a smartphone, but it’s a smartphone nonetheless!
Me: “Okay, that’s a cell phone. Do you pay a phone bill for this?”
Older Gentleman: “Of course!”
Me: “Who do you pay?”
Older Gentleman: “[Well-known Phone Company].”
Me: “Okay. You might be able to link this tablet to the data plan that you’re using for your phone.”
They both look at me confused.
Me: “Uh… the video call will come through a phone signal, but it can go to this tablet via your phone.”
They nod in clearer understanding.
Me: “May I look at your phone for a moment?”
The gentleman eagerly hands it over, and I can see that it’s totally devoid of apps… but… there is an app for the aforementioned phone company. I get his permission to select the app, and I can see that he’s on a very basic data plan but is getting data all the same.
Now, there are still a lot of unknowns here. I won’t be able to explain to this couple how to tether devices or even know how strong their signal is back home.
Me: “Do you mind if I ask, where do you both live?”
Older Lady: “Just past [Large Ranch] on the way to [Town].”
Me: “Oh, near [Gas Station]?”
Older Lady: “Yes! Just turn right after that!”
Jackpot. That’s on my way home.
Me: “Okay, I’m going to suggest something unorthodox here.”
They seemed sweet and a bit lost, and I can be naïve and too trusting, but what the h***? I sold them the tablet with the understanding that they could return it for a refund if it didn’t do what they needed it to do.
I also agreed to drop by after my shift (I finish at 3:00 pm) and set up their tablet for them.
After my shift, I dropped by and drank some sweet tea out on their porch. I set up the tablet, and it took literal minutes to discover their old phone and tether it as a hotspot. I explained everything I was doing as I did it in a way that they could understand.
I tested the data speed of the tablet when close to the phone, and it was juuuuust about enough to get a video call, provided they keep both devices close, which I also explained.
They then called one of their children who lived on the East Coast to explain what was happening while I enjoyed a slice of the wife’s lemon drizzle cake. I talked to them and introduced myself, and I learned that they were happy to use Zoom or Google to talk to their family. I got the contact information and set up the older couple with the service, and less than an hour after my arrival, we were miraculously having a video call with their adult kids thousands of miles away!
The beaming smiles on their faces as grandchildren were shoved up to the camera and a series of “Hi, Grandma! Hi, Grandpa!” came through the tablet speakers made it worth all the effort.
I left my number and told them to call me whenever they have any issues, and they do. I look forward to when they actually do have issues… That lemon drizzle cake was incredible.
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