I’m buying a small printer for photos.
Cashier: “This is not a camera.”
Me: “Yes, I know.”
I hear my catty tone and immediately it flashes through my mind that the lady just wants to help, and have all the hours of browsing Not Always Right taught me nothing?
Me: *With a smile* “But thank you for telling me.”
The cashier lady’s mood lifted, and the rest of the transaction was a lot more amicable.
It is around Christmas in the year 2000. An older lady approaches me.
Old Lady: “I was told I need to buy a DVD rewinder.”
Me: “By who?”
Old Lady: “My grandson.”
Me: “I see.”
Old Lady: “I just bought a DVD player, trying to keep up with the times, but he told me it doesn’t rewind the DVDs, which is a bit disappointing. Can you help?”
Me: “Ma’am, I think he’s playing a prank on you.”
I explain how DVDs work.
Old Lady: “Oh, that little punk! I’m going to tell him I can’t get him a Christmas present this year as I spent all my money on that DVD rewinder!”
Me: *Laughing* “I think that’s an excellent plan, ma’am.”
A customer comes into the store and looks around the TV section. He is male; I am female.
Customer: “Can I speak to someone about the TVs?”
Me: “I can help you, sir! What kind of TV are you looking for today?”
Customer: “Can I please speak to a man?”
Me: *Without skipping a beat* “Why?”
Customer: “So he can talk to me about TVs.”
Me: “I’m helping you with your TV needs, though.”
Customer: “Look. Can I please speak to a man, please?”
Me: *Again, without skipping a beat* “Why?”
Customer: “C’mon… you know.”
Me: “I really don’t. Please tell me.”
Customer: “Because… well…”
Me: *Stares expectantly*
Customer: “Men are all just better at this stuff.”
Boom! Sexism confirmed!
Me: “I understand. If you’d like, I can fetch the associate who was responsible for setting up all the TVs in the store.”
Customer: “That would be great, thank you.”
I turn around a complete 360 and face the customer again.
Me: “Hi! I heard that you wanted to talk to me about buying a TV?”
The customer just stared at me blankly before slowly realizing what had just happened and emotionlessly walking out. I have precisely zero tolerance for his particular brand of BS, so that was fine by me!
I work for a computer chain that has just released a new range of desktop computers available in different colors.
A customer comes in who I can only describe as your typical Floridian redneck. He’s browsing the computers and then walks over to me.
Customer: “Can you make the computer like… covered in alligator skin?”
Me: “Uh… no.”
Customer: “You advertised the computer as coming in lots of colors!”
Me: “Yes, this selection of colors here. Alligator skin is not one of them.”
Customer: “Well, it should be! You need to know your audience and their style!”
Me: “I will let the managers know, sir.”
Customer: “You do that! Tell them to add leopard skin while you’re at it, so my girl can get one, too!”
Related:
Florida Man Arrested For Battery
Florida Man Suddenly Sobers Up
Florida Man Fights Fake Alligator In A Battle Of Wits: Loses
Florida Man Expects Washers From The Future
17 Outrageous Tales Of The “Florida Man”
A middle-aged woman enters the store, looking at our movie selection. She comes over to me.
Customer: “My husband likes the one with the spaceships.”
Me: “Okay? Can you tell me a little more?”
Customer: “It’s like Star… something. It has spaceships.”
Me: “Star Trek? Star Wars?”
Customer: “Yes, that’s it!”
Me: “No, those are two different things. Do you know any more about which one he likes? Is it older or newer? A movie or a TV show? Does it have guns or glowing swords?”
Customer: “I told you, it has spaceships!”
Me: “They both do, ma’am. Perhaps if you asked him—”
Customer: “No! It’s a Christmas gift! I can’t ask him!”
Me: “Well then, I would recommend picking one and hoping for the best.”
Customer: “Which one is better? Star Trek or Star Wars?”
Me: “Ma’am, they’ve been arguing over that for decades.”
Customer: “Well, can’t you ask them?”
I showed her copies of both the “Star Wars” movie box set (six of them at the time) and the “Star Trek” TV series on DVD. She said neither was right and went on her way. Maybe it was “Stargate”?
