A customer marches up to me looking angry, carrying a remote control for a TV that we sell.

Customer: “The remote you sold me doesn’t work!”

Me: “Did you install the batteries correctly?”

Customer: “Of course! I’m not an idiot!”

Me: “May I see?”

The remote takes two AAA batteries, but somehow — and to this day I’m not entirely sure how — the customer has managed to wedge in a single AA battery diagonally. During the attempt, he’s damaged the remote and it’s clearly bulging at the bottom.

Me: “Sir, I…”

Customer: “And another thing! Why do they design these things to make it so bloody hard to put the battery in?! This is the third time this has happened!”

Me: “Wait, this is always how you’ve always installed batteries into the remote?”

Customer: “Yes, why?” 

I explained. He disagreed. He called me an idiot and left. I guess it’s going to happen a fourth time…

It is the early days of cable TV, and I am working in an electronics store that also sells cable packages near the TV section. An older woman and her quiet-looking husband storm up to me. The woman does all the talking.

Customer: “I bought this cable package because you told me it cost $19 for the educational and children’s programming for my grandkids and the Bible channel for me! But I’m paying almost double that, and there are all these filthy channels added that have all these naked ladies all over them, and it’s disgusting!”

Me: “That does sound concerning! Let me see if I can look up your account for you.”

I get the details, and I can see that they did initially sign on for the basic package as she stated, which was $19. A few months later, the customer apparently called and added the “adult” package for another $19, which came with the channels she was complaining about.

Now I know why the husband is looking so sheepish. Time to try to explain this diplomatically.

Customer: “That is impossible! Neither my husband nor I would denigrate ourselves to look at that sinful stuff! You must have made a mistake! Take the channels off and refund us!”

Since only one month has been charged, I find it easier to just give her what she wants. I tell her that I have done as she asked.

Customer: “Good! Sexual relations are sinful except only in the very specific times you’re trying to procreate!”

So, she’s only ever had sex when she was trying to conceive? Never for anything else? 

I suddenly know why her account might be accessing those certain videos!

An older couple comes into the store and approaches me in the TV section. I notice the wife opening her mouth to speak, but the husband immediately starts speaking over her.

Husband: “We’re looking to replace our TV. It needs to be seventy-five inches and 40k.”

Me: “If you’re referring to resolution, then most of the TVs will be 4k, which is the standard these days.”

Husband: “No, I want 40k. 4k isn’t enough.”

Me: “Sir, no TV is 40k, at least none that are commercially available. We have a couple of 8k TVs, but nothing higher than that.”

Husband: “Get me your manager. You’re trying to sell me something old for a premium price!”

Me: “I can do that, sir, but first can I ask where you heard about 40k TVs?”

Husband: “I’m an engineer, and I do my reading! I know what I’m talking about!”

Wife: *Speaking up* “You’re a structural engineer, and you always need me to tell you which way around the remote control goes. Let the boy speak.”

She turns to me.

Wife: “Our current TV is old and 1080. 4k will be fine.”

The husband is staring at his wife while I try to suppress a smile.

Wife: “What? I do my reading, too, but when I read, I actually read, not try to make up fake numbers to constantly be one-upping the guys from the construction yard.”

I am working at an electronics chain in Canada on Boxing Day. There are about a hundred people lined up for hours the night before. As soon as we open the doors, they all rush in. I am standing in the front with my colleagues welcoming people in. The first guy through the door runs up to me and frantically asks:

Customer: “WHERE IS YOUR APPLIANCE SECTION?!”

Me: “Uh, [Store] doesn’t have an appliance section; it never has.”

He looks at me, his eyes bulging, and then at my coworker, who nods in agreement. He solemnly and slowly walks toward the exit. 

Coworker: “Nothing like lining up for hours all night in the freezing weather at the wrong store…”

I’m buying a small printer for photos.

Cashier: “This is not a camera.”

Me: “Yes, I know.”

I hear my catty tone and immediately it flashes through my mind that the lady just wants to help, and have all the hours of browsing Not Always Right taught me nothing?

Me: *With a smile* “But thank you for telling me.”

The cashier lady’s mood lifted, and the rest of the transaction was a lot more amicable.