When Lack Of Register DOES Register

, , , , | Right | June 5, 2017

(I am the customer in this story. I am shopping at a smaller electronics store in a local mall. It is early afternoon so I am the only one in the whole store. I am buying a couple movies for my dad and a CD for my sister. After I hand over my card and the cashier swipes it the whole system freezes.)

Cashier: “God d*** AGAIN! This has already happened twice today. I am so sorry for the inconvenience but the computer froze and now I have to get the manager to reboot the system. It’s probably going to take a couple minutes though.”

Me: “Oh, that’s fine. I don’t mind waiting.”

Cashier: *fetches manager and starts rebooting computer* “Again I am very sorry.”

Manager: “I wish this could go faster but this is the only register we have open and this is probably going to take about 10 minutes to reboot.”

Me: “Guys, I really don’t mind. You don’t have to be sorry. I have been working retail for three years and our register needs to be rebooted at least twice a day. I’m at the mall at one pm on a Tuesday. If I had anything better to do I would be doing it. I’m gonna go poke around in the clearance bin. Holler when the system is up again.”

Cashier: *with a huge smile* “Will do!”

(After poking around in clearance and picking out two additional movies, they call me over.)

Manager: “Just coupon out her two clearance movies. Thank you so much for your patience!”

Cashier: “And for not yelling at us!”

He Is “The Way” To Getting Signed Out

| USA | Working | June 1, 2017

(I work for a well-known store that sells all kinds of electronic devices. When it is time to clock out we have to go to a manager to get signed our paper with our credit card applications goal and how much we opened that day. There is this one male manager who has long brown hair and a brown beard and he is one of the more laid back managers. There is also this supervisor, who is new and doesn’t know anyone’s names yet. I go into the office after I clock out to get him to sign my paper and he takes one look at it and looks at me.)

Supervisor: “I’m so sorry, but I’m not allowed to sign this as I’m not on duty yet. You can go to the manager who looks like Jesus Christ and get him to sign it. He’s on the floor now.”

(I stare at him and after a couple of seconds, he realizes that I don’t know who he is referring to.)

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, I’m not good with names yet. It’s the manager with the long dark hair and beard. But he really does look like Jesus!”

(I realize which manager he is referring to and laugh.)

Me: “Are you talking about [Manager]?”

Supervisor: “Yes, that’s him!”

(I laughed and went on the floor looking for my manager, and after getting it signed I tell my manager that the new supervisor referred to him as a Jesus Christ lookalike. He found it just as amusing as I did. Shortly after that, the nickname ‘Jesus’ stuck with my manager and he even began to refer himself as that.)

Ph.Duh.

, , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(We are just about to close shop. A woman is talking to my manager about an e-reader case.)

Customer: “That’s false advertising. On your website it says this ereader case is $7.50.”

Manager: “That is a similar looking case. They have different SKUs.”

Customer: “But I don’t see it. You should give me that price.”

Manager: “Our website has many items where our store only has a limited amount of stock.”

(The customer goes on how the case should be that price. I notice she is still in the store when I go to close the doors, so I leave one door open and one locked. I come to see my manager to see what the problem is.)

Manager: “We can give you the price of this case for that one you saw on the website.”

Customer: “I have a student card!”

(We give student deals. My manager looks at the student card carefully.)

Manager: “Uh… this card is from 2006.”

Customer: “I am doing my Ph.D. It takes a long time, you know; it’s a Ph.D.”

Manager: “You don’t have an updated student card that is renewed?”

Customer: “I’m doing my PH.D part time!”

Manager: “Still, eight years. That’s a long time ago.”

Customer: “Isn’t there anyone else I can talk to?”

Me: “He is the manager so there is no one else.”

Customer: “What about your head office?”

Me: “They close between 4:00 and 4:30, and it’s 6:00. You can’t contact them at this time.”

(The customer goes off about how her student card is valid, and how I don’t know about the head office because I don’t know the exact time they close, and how we have poor customer service. We give her the discount and she finally pays for the item.)

Manager: “We’ll contact head office for you since they are closed at this time. What is your phone number?”

Customer: “I’m not giving it to you!”

Manager: “How they can contact you?”

Customer: “I’m filing a complaint!”

(On the way out she tries to force the locked door open. She is pushing the locked door to the point where it almost breaks. I can’t help but laugh.)

Customer: “She is laughing at me!”

(I laugh harder while my manager opens the unlocked door for her, making exiting seem easy.)

Me: “She is doing a Ph.D. and she can’t even open a door!”

Manager: “No wonder her degree is taking her eight years.”

Plugging That Whole Thing Into Something Else

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | May 21, 2017

(In our store, we sell all sorts of electronics and accessories.)

Sales Representative: “Good morning. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you carry a USB to H barrel power cables?”

Sales Representative: “Yes, we do.” *proceeds to cable aisle to show the customer the cable*

Customer: “This is great. I have a USB charging adapter; can we see if it will work?”

Sales Representative: “Sure, let’s go over to the customer service desk to plug it in and see.” *thinking nothing more of what the device may be*

Customer: “I just found this on the street and want to see if it will work.” *proceeds to pull out a dildo from his pocket*

Sales Representative: *taken aback from the sight and the fact that the customer just said he found it on the street* “Go ahead, sir. YOU can plug it in yourself.”

Customer: *plugs the device in, sure enough it works* “Great.”

Sales Representative: “Okay? Let’s go back over to my till and ring your purchase up.” *trying to hide a smile*

(The customer pays for the cable and walks out of the store.)

Sales Representative: *to other employees that saw the transaction* “Really, did that really happen?”

Although You Should Eat Your Words…

| Greenwich, CT, USA | Right | May 19, 2017

(I have dreadlocks and a large nose ring. I am working behind the repair counter of the store when my coworker has this exchange with an elderly, entitled customer.)

Customer: “People who mutilate their faces like cannibals shouldn’t be allowed to work with the public.”

Coworker: “Actually, as it turns out, he is a vegan and therefore doesn’t eat ANY meat, INCLUDING people meat!”

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