Customer Ignorance Is Soda Pressing

, | Payson, UT, USA | Technology

(I overhear this between an employee and a customer.)

Customer: “So, what is so great about this smartphone?”

Employee: “Well, it’s waterproof and—”

Customer: “Waterproof? There is no such thing!”

Employee: “I can assure you—”

Customer: “Prove it.”

(As I listen to this, the employee proceeds to dip it in the guy’s soda.)

Employee: “See, it works.” *proceeds to pull it back out and show that it works*

Customer: “Well, umm… the customer is always right!”

Just Type In ‘Born Yesterday’

, | Lansing, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(Whenever we access a customer’s account, they need to give us their pin number.)

Me: “All right, now, what’s your eight-digit pin number?”

Customer: “I don’t know… Oh! It’s my birthday!”

Me: *looking at them expectantly*

Customer: *looking at me expectantly*

Me: “aaannndddd what would that be?”

An Un-Elf-y Obsession With Green

| ON, Canada | Theme Of The Month

(We are allowed to wear costumes to work on Halloween, and I couldn’t find anything super exciting, so my last minute costume consisted of a green shirt and a Kermit the Frog hat, which has eyes poking up from the top, and his face on the front.)

Customer: “Are you an elf?”

Me: “…No, I’m Kermit.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought you were an elf. Because you’re wearing green.”

Me: “But I have a Kermit hat on…”

Customer: “But it’s green.”

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 20

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer comes in to return a wireless mouse that apparently doesn’t work. I always check them in our own computer before returning them, because the customers are usually doing something wrong.)

Customer: “This mouse doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay, what’s it doing?”

Customer: “Nothing.”

Me: “Okay, and you had the batteries in right?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “And you had it turned on?”

Customer: “YES! I’M NOT AN IDIOT!”

Me: “I wasn’t calling you an idiot. A lot of people don’t realize you can turn them on or off. ”

(I check the batteries, turn it on and plug it in. It works.)

Me: “Hmm, the mouse is working fine. Are you sure you had it turned on?”

Customer: “YES! And I had the little thing in the mouse where it’s supposed to go!”

Me: “What little thing?”

Customer: “That little thing that sticks in the bottom of the mouse!”

(I take the USB receiver out of the computer and hold it up.)

Me: “This?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “You kept it in the mouse?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “That’s supposed to go in the computer…”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 19
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 18
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 17

Her Query Is Ink-conclusive

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A fun new Polaroid style camera has come out and is extremely popular for Christmas gifts. I am talking to a middle-aged woman who should have grown up with film cameras.)

Customer: “So the camera’s 100 bucks, and the photo paper is 20 bucks for 20? That’s so expensive!”

Me: “Yeah, it’s a little expensive.”

Customer: “And how much is the ink?”

Me: “There is no ink.”

Customer: “So the pictures aren’t even in colour!?”

Me: “Yes, they’re in colour.”

Customer: “Right so when the ink runs out, I’ll have to get more.”

Me: “No it doesn’t use ink; it’s film.”

Customer: “What do you mean it doesn’t use ink!? How does the picture print?”

Me: “It doesn’t technically print; it develops. It’s film.”

Customer: “I don’t get what you mean.”

Me: “The film is a special type of paper that reacts to light. When you take the picture, the light imprints on the paper, and when it comes out, it’s a picture. It’s like a Polaroid.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m sure the ink is expensive.”

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