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Just Lawyered Yourself, Part 5

, , , , , , | Right | January 20, 2023

I work in a store that sells electronics and tech. I had a woman come in who tried to return an opened box of software. We didn’t allow returns on those because of the ease of copying them and just getting your money back after.

I tried to explain the policy to her, but she wasn’t having it. 

Customer: “It’s not my fault that my computer can’t run the software!”

Me: “Ma’am, on every program we sell, it says what operating system the program is compatible with, as well as what components your computer needs to have to be able to handle it. It is your job to check those and not buy programs that don’t fit with your system.”

Customer: “I would like to speak to a manager.”

That, of course, failed. The manager told her the exact same thing I had.

Customer: “Fine, I guess I’ll call my lawyer.”

Me: *Shrugging* “That’s your choice, ma’am.”

She pushed maybe two buttons on her phone. Within three seconds, she had the “receptionist” in the line and asked for her “lawyer” by first name. Within a few seconds, he was on the line. She told him that she had opened software that had not been installed and she wanted to return it and asked what the law said. 

Looking at me, she quoted him:

Customer: “‘The law says they have to take it back.'”

She thanked him, hung up, looked and me, and said:

Customer: “Well?”

Me: “That is completely untrue, and you should fire your lawyer for lying to you. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do.”

She sure didn’t like that! She threw the box, which hit me. I had to put my arm up so it hit my arm instead of my face.

Me: “And that’s assault. Do be a dear and call your lawyer back to ask them about what happens next.”

She just walked off, swearing a blue streak and yelling the usual promises to never come back.

She REALLY didn’t like being stopped by security for throwing things at employees. Or having the police called on her. OR being charged. It was a very unfunny situation… for her!

What’s funny about this her call to the “lawyer” was…

1) I don’t know of any lawyer that will, off the cuff, state that stores have to take back a product regardless of their openly stated and printed policies. (Such things would have to be carefully researched before a lawyer would tell a client anything of the sort.)

2) I certainly don’t know of a lawyer that would answer a call like that…

2a) at lunchtime…

2b) on Labor Day!

Related:
Just Lawyered Yourself, Part 4
Just Lawyered Yourself, Part 3
Just Lawyered Yourself, Part 2
Just Lawyered Yourself

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 19

, , , , , , , | Right | January 6, 2023

The shop I work at both sells and repairs computers, mobile phones, and other electronic devices. The health crisis has presented its fair share of challenges, but one day in particular stands out as a real headache.

First of all, my boss, his partner, and my coworker are all sick due to the health crisis, so I am the only one at the shop today. Furthermore, we often have to order parts in for computers and phones that we repair, and the postal services are slower than normal at this time which often causes delays on jobs.

Today has been very busy, and I’m struggling to get any repairs done as there is a nearly constant line of customers. But then, this regular customer comes in who almost always takes ages to serve as we always have to explain things several times, and sometimes she still doesn’t get it. She recently bought a new phone from us as her old one’s battery completely died.

We borrowed a battery from another phone (which has since been loaned to another customer) to transfer her contacts and photos to her new phone, and we gave her a few tips on how the new phone worked. But since her old and new phone were both the same brand and functioned very similarly, we (wrongly) assumed that she should be okay to use it.

Customer: “I bought this new phone, and I can’t use it. I need you to fix my old one and transfer everything back to it. I have a funeral for my friend this weekend and I need to get the photos! And I can’t get them on this new phone.”

Me: “Okay, I’m sorry to hear of your friend’s passing, and I’ll do what I can to help you. But unfortunately, I am not going to be able to get your old phone going in time. [Boss], [Partner], and [Coworker] are all sick, and because of the slow postage, I won’t have parts available for your phone in time.”

Customer: “But I need it done this weekend!”

Of course, I know that the photos are all there on her new phone. All she needs to do is tap on the photos app and they will all be there. I figure that the only reason she is likely having trouble finding it is that the app might be in a different place or on a different home screen from her old phone. She might just have to swipe across to a different home screen to find it, or I can just move it to the first home screen so it’s obvious. I also know that fixing the old phone isn’t an option; I’m just not going to have access to the parts I need for it in time, even if she is willing to spend money on it.

But this doesn’t exactly go down well.

Me: “I’m sorry, but as I explained, I’d like to be able to fix it for you, but that isn’t going to be possible in time. But your photos are on the new phone. All you need to do is—”

Customer: “No, it’s too hard. I can’t use the new phone, and I need to get these photos this weekend.”

This goes back and forth a few times, with the customer cutting me off as I try to explain that she just needs to tap on the photos app, as a few other customers come into the shop and a line is starting to form.

Me: “I’m sorry, but the only way to get access to them between now and the weekend will be on your new phone. Can you explain a bit more about why you’re having problems with it?”

Customer: “I can’t do all of this tapping on things and swiping.”

Me: “But your old phone was another touchscreen phone from the same brand. You also had to tap and swipe on that phone.”

Customer: “But it was so much easier! I just had to touch one thing and it worked. But on this new phone, I have to do this—” *frantically taps all over the screen* “—just to make a phone call.”

Me: “No, all you need to do is just one touch on the green phone button, just like your old phone, and you can make a phone call, and you just need to do the same thing on the gallery app to see your photos.”

I also then demonstrate tapping once on the phone app and making a phone call. I then do the same on the photos app and even show her the photos on the new phone, as well as where the photos app is on the home screen.

Customer: “But it’s too hard for a dummy like me on the new phone!”

By this point, I’m starting to lose my cool, as I have already made it as clear as I can that it will take more than a couple of days to fix the old phone and that the new phone is not, in fact, radically different from her old one. It’s becoming painfully obvious that she just doesn’t even want to try to use the new phone.

Me: “No, it’s not. They function exactly the same. As I just showed you, one tap on the phone app is all you need to do to make a phone call, as I just showed you, and your photos are all here in this gallery app, just like it was on your old phone. You could do it on the old phone; it’s no different on this phone.”

Customer: “No, they’re not the same; it’s harder on the new phone. I just want [Manager] to refund me on this phone and fix the other one!”

Me: “Okay, we can discuss that as an option, but as I said, [Manager] is not in and will not be for at least another week as he is sick with [contagious illness], and I will not have access to any parts for your old phone until at least early next week either.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll worry about the photos later! Just get it sorted!”

She then left both phones on the counter and walked out of the shop. She didn’t end up with any photos that weekend. Eventually, we did fix her old phone and I transferred the few new photos, messages, and apps from the new phone back to the old one, and guess what?

She then came back and complained that the old phone was now much harder to use than it used to be because we had transferred her data to it! Some people are just impossible to please.

Related:
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 18
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 17
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 16
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 15
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 14

The Photons Would Like To Have A Word…

, , , , , , , | Right | January 5, 2023

I’m a manager at an electronics store, and one of my female employees comes up to me.

Employee: “Hey, [My Name]. Can you help me with this customer? I’m not sure if it’s because he thinks only a man can help him, but I think he’s being deliberately confusing.”

Me: “Okay, let me talk to him.”

She walks me over and I introduce myself.

Customer: “Yeah, I tried to explain to your employee, but I don’t think she knows what I’m asking. I need one of those outdoor cameras…”

Me: “Okay, did you mean—”

Customer: “…and I want the ones that can see through walls.”

Me: “Sees… through… walls? What are you using the camera for, sir?”

Customer: “I need to put it outside my house, and I need it to check my neighbourhood.”

Me: “So, you want to install security cameras on the outside of your home?”

Customer: “Yes, but I need it to see through walls.”

Me: “Do you mean night vision?”

Customer: “The f***?! That’s what your employee said! No! I need it to see through walls!”

Me: “That’s… impossible, sir.”

Customer: “Bulls***! I’ve seen them used on TV. You can get these special cameras that can see on the other side of walls.”

Me: “Sir, you’re asking me if our small store… sells cameras that can see through solid matter clear enough that you can see what is happening on the other side, a technology that the military doesn’t even possess and, as far as I am aware, isn’t possible under our current understanding of the laws of physics?”

Customer: “Ugh, not like that! Do you even know what I’m asking you?!”

Me: “Do you?”


This story is part of our Watching-Too-Much-TV roundup!

Read the next Watching-Too-Much-TV roundup story!

Read the Watching-Too-Much-TV-Owners roundup!

We’re Believin’ In Steven

, , , , , , | Right | January 3, 2023

I was in an electronics store browsing through laptops when I noticed a young man standing near me. He looked to be somewhere between sixteen and eighteen, neatly dressed in a dress shirt and tie with polished shoes, hair slicked and gelled back, and he was wearing a name tag that said, “Steven”. (Name has been changed.)

Me: “Hi. Would you recommend the AMD or Intel processors for graphics design?”

Steven: “Is this for like a commercial setting? Home office?”

I explained exactly what it was I was looking to do. He launched into a very thorough and detailed explanation of what sort of computer hardware was appropriate for what. He brought me to a couple of display laptops and gave a well-formulated recommendation of what he’d personally go with. He ended it by taking out his phone and directing me to some tech websites that would further help. I was so impressed with his professionalism and courtesy that I decided to buy the laptop to make it worth his while.

Steven: *Smiling brightly* “Great! Let me know how it works out, or if you have any questions or whatever; here’s my Twitter and Facebook.” *Scribbling them down and handing the note to me* “Gotta run now, though. Take it easy!”

Thinking his shift was over and that he’d helped me more than enough, I smiled and thanked him.

I bought the laptop and later left a five-star review, specifically mentioning Steven and praising his excellent job. The store responded to the review.

Store: “Do you have the right business? We don’t have anyone named Steven who works here.”

Oh, it gets better. I checked out his Facebook… and discovered that he was only fourteen years old!

Not Ready For Duh-gital

, , , , , | Right | December 29, 2022

A lady comes into my store.

Customer: “I need a new digital camera.”

Me: “Is there an issue with your previous one?”

Customer: “My old one is full of pictures.”

Me: “Can you replace the memory card?”

Customer: “The memory what now?”

Me: “…I think I understand your issue.”

She had a very eye-opening visit and bought a new memory card.