His Powers To Resist Are Limited (Edition)

| NJ, USA | Working | August 5, 2013

Me: “I’d like to buy Mists of Pandaria, please.”

Clerk: “Would you also like to buy the Mists of Pandaria Limited Edition Game Guide?”

Me: “No, thank you; just the game.”

Clerk: “But it has everything you need to get your characters to the highest levels.”

Me: “No, I really can’t justify the extra expense.”

Clerk: *sing-song voice* “Limited edition…”

Me: “My wife would kill me.”

Clerk: “Comes with Panda Chopsticks.”

Me: “…d*** it.”

Clerk: “Gotcha.”

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Guessing Remotely

| Sterling, VA, USA | Working | August 1, 2013

Me: “Do you happen to have the remote for this TV?” *points to a TV on display*

Employee: “Actually I’m off work right now… is that a Pac-Man ghost?” *points to my t-shirt*

Me: “No, that’s a creeper from Minecraft.”

Employee: “It looks like a Pac-Man ghost.”

Me: “So do you have the remote?”

Employee: “Cherries.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “Strawberries. Oranges.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “Blue ghost.”

Magic-Touch-Phone

| Australia | Right | July 27, 2013

Customer: “I want to return this phone; it won’t turn on.”

(I turn on the phone, and it works perfectly.)

Me: “Hmm, seems to be turning on just fine.”

Customer: “I’ve been doing that all yesterday, and it didn’t work! You must have magic hands or something.”

Me: “That’s the only explanation I can think of. I should use my powers for good and go out and use my magic touch to heal things like leprosy.”

Lady: *in all seriousness* “Oh no, I don’t have that.”

Cupid Embraces Modern Technology

| QLD, Australia | Romantic | July 1, 2013

(I am a woman working in a tech store. I’m half way through an IT degree, but often customers don’t believe I’m male enough to help. A young female customer enters the store.)

Me: “Hi there, are you looking for anything particular today?”

Customer: “Um, yeah, I guess.”

Me: “Awesome, what can I help you with?

Customer: “Do you have any guys working today?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Men. Are there any men on shift?”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you I’m perfectly qualified to help you with any IT enquiries you have today. Quite frankly, I’m offended that you think that as a woman, I’m incompetent.”

Customer: “Incompetent? Oh, God, I’m sure you’re entirely competent! I’m just looking for smart guys! It’s so hard to find a man with any brains.”

Me: “Oh. Well, in that case, go ask for [co-worker], over in white goods; he’s single.”

(My coworker asks her out, and they’ve been dating for four months now!)

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The Needs Of The Trekkie Out Blu-ray The Needs Of The Few

| WI, USA | Working | June 8, 2013

Worker: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Me: “No, I think we are good.”

Worker: “Well, could you pretend to be getting my help so I could look to see if the Star Trek movie I have been looking for is here?”

(I look at the aisle I had just entered and see all of the Star Trek movies out on sale because of the new movie coming out that weekend. I smile.)

Me: “Oh, of course!”

Worker: “Thank you!”

(He takes a look and smiles really excitedly.)

Worker: “Yes, they have [Star Trek movie] and in Blu-ray!” *gets back into character* “I hope I was helpful.”

Me: “You were! Thank you!”

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