Bob Needs A New Job

| NY, USA | Working | October 25, 2012

(I’ve recently gotten a new cellphone. Out of the blue, my phone starts going crazy after an interview. There is no obvious water damage nor evidence of any physical damage. The following week, I go to a local store to try to fix my phone.)

Me: “Hi, I’ve been having some trouble with my phone.”

Worker: “Oh… well, my speciality is with MP3 players. Ask Bob.” *calls Bob over*

Me: *to Bob* “Hi, my phone isn’t….”

Bob: “It’s water damage. All you kids get water damage. Good job, you broke your battery.”

Me: “I don’t think it’s the battery as I can still charge it.”

(Bob ignores me, but checks my phone to see if there is water damage. Lo and behold, there isn’t.)

Bob: “D*** teenagers are getting sneakier with wanting to get upgrades. Always wanting your parents to buy the next best thing. When I was a teenager, I paid for that myself!”

Me: “Sir, I am not a teenager, and although I am on my father’s account, I chose and paid for the phone myself. I also pay my share of the phone bill each month. I do not want an upgrade. I am merely hoping to figure out what’s wrong with my phone because I have several interviews coming up soon.”

Bob: “Lazy teenage girls don’t work! They have boyfriends and their dads to pay for it all!”

Me: “Like I said, I am not a teenager. I’m 23, as a matter of fact. Can you please tell me what’s wrong with my phone?”

Bob: “Your phone needs replacing! I’ll have to send you a new one, but you won’t get an upgrade! You’ll keep this type of phone. Mail in the defective phone to Texas so they’ll smash it with bricks! How do you like that?”

Me: “That’s fine, as long as it comes as quickly as possible and it will work for me. Thanks for your help.”

(As I’m leaving the store with my defective phone, Bob has one more thing to say to me.)

Bob: “GET A JOB! Lazy teenage girls are so unattractive!”

Shiver Me Torrents

| Oklahoma City, USA | Working | September 14, 2012

(My dad and I are at an electronics store asking an employee for a USB DVD drive.)

Employee: “So, what do you need this for anyway?”

Me: “Just to to have one that works to read things.”

Employee: “Well, instead of using your CDs, you can just download stuff. It’s not illegal. Just pirate it; I do it all the time!”

Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 9

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Right | September 6, 2012

Me: “Thank you for calling [store name and location]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what time you closed? I need to bring in my computer monitor and exchange it for a new one.”

Me: “We close at nine. If you don’t mind my asking, why do you need to exchange yours, ma’am? I may be able to help and save you the trip.”

Customer: “Well, I saw that you all sold those wireless monitors and was going to get one but they’re so expensive. So I just decided to make mine a wireless one instead. But I guess I must have done it wrong because now it won’t work.”

Me: “You… tried to make your monitor into a wireless one? How?”

Customer: “Oh, I just cut the cord that was dangling out of it. Like I said, I must have cut it wrong though. So I need a new one.”

Me: “I… see. Well, um, ma’am, I’m sorry to tell you this, but, well, I can’t just give you a new monitor because you destroyed your old one.”

Customer: “Really? Well. We’ll just see about that, won’t we? I’m going to come in and speak to your manager. Then we’ll see who does what for whom!”

(She came in with her self-destroyed monitor, and no, she didn’t get a new one!)

Related:
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 8
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 7
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 6
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 5
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 4
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 3
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 2
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless

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Burn The Other Cheek

| Valley Stream, NY, USA | Right | September 6, 2012

Me: “Good morning, sir. Would you like to purchase our protection plan on this?”

Customer #1: *very thick Jamaican accent* “Nah, your coworker explained that. I don’t want it.”

Me: “Alright, sir.”

(I proceed to remove the anti-theft device and scan the GPS.)

Customer #1: “Does this…”

(The rest of the question is so garbled by his accent that I can not make it out.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir… could you repeat that?”

(My coworker, who by chance is also from Jamaica, jumps in and answers the customer’s question. After about 30 seconds of discussion between the two, it’s clear the customer still has some unresolved questions, and since I am the only register open a line has been forming. I interrupt their conversation briefly.)

Me: “Excuse me, I’m just going to suspend this transaction so I can take the next customer. As soon as you’re ready, I’ll finish up for you.”

Customer #1: “Okay.” *continues asking my coworker questions*

Me: *calling out* “Next, please!”

Customer #1: “YOU BIGOT!”

(Suddenly, Customer #1 throws the GPS at me, hard enough to crack the plastic clamshell case it’s in and giving me a small cut on my arm. He then storms out of the store. My coworker and I look at each other, confused, as the next customer, Customer #2, walks up to my register. Customer #2 is a middle-aged woman with a similar Jamaican accent. She is wearing a church t-shirt.)

Customer #2: “That man was so rude to you for no reason.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I really have no idea why he called me a bigot.”

Customer #2: “A good Christian should be kind. People like that should just die and rot in H***!”

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Obviously Infected With Selective Hearingitis

| Arizona, USA | Right | August 6, 2012

(On an unusually busy day during the slow summer sales period, a customer comes into our department and begins talking to a coworker of mine.)

Customer: “Hey there! I’m looking for this anti-virus program that my friend told me about. I don’t remember the name, but I know it starts with a ‘k’. Oh, and it sounds Russian! I know I would remember it if I heard i or saw the box!”

Coworker: “Oh! You must mean Kaspersky! I know it quite well, because it is the only anti-virus that I have used for the last three years.”

Customer: “No! No, that is definitely not it! You must not know what you’re talking about. I’ll just go find it myself.”

(I happen to be standing right next to a section nearby that houses only Kaspersky products. The customer looked around a little, and then came up to me.)

Customer: “Hey there, I talked to one of your friends over there before, and she obviously didn’t know what she was talking about. Ha!”

(He then repeats the same thing he said to my coworker.)

Me: “Oh, do you mean Kaspersky?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s the one! That other girl obviously didn’t have a clue!”

Related:
A Nasty Case Of Selective Hearingitis

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