Their Device Passed The Acid Test

| USA | Working | October 7, 2013

(My brother’s Playstation 2 is having mechanical issues with the disk tray. Fortunately, there is a store nearby that is certified to fix it, and we take it in. Not two hours later, my mother receives a phone call screaming that we need to come pick up the unfixed system immediately.)

Mom: “Hi, we were just called about my son’s Playstation.”

Manager: “Yes, just a moment.”

(He looks very mad as he goes to the back and brings out the Playstation. It is wrapped all the way around with several layers of plastic wrap, with a big sign taped to the top reading ‘LIVE ANIMALS.’)

Manager: “Ma’am, were you aware your son hid live cockroaches in this before bringing it in? When my employee unscrewed the case they jumped right out at him! Because of this, we are banning you from the store. Please never come back.”

(My mom is obviously annoyed, but doesn’t argue. We take the system home and my mom un-wraps the system herself. She takes off the casing that they never bothered to screw back down. Finding nothing, she decides to go back the next day, but leaves my brother and me at home. Miraculously, she comes back with a brand new system straight out of the box.)

Me: “Mom, what happened?”

Mom: “That stupid manager didn’t realize his employee was high on acid, and hallucinated cockroaches coming out of the system. So for being a rude a**-hat, he gave me a new Playstation!”

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Split Opinion On The Service

| Moore, OK, USA | Working | October 2, 2013

Employee: “Welcome to [Electronics Store]. What can I get for you?”

Me: “Yeah, I need a CAT5 splitter please.”

Employee: “No, I think you need a switch. They’re over here.”

Me: “Well, you didn’t ask me what I’m doing. I know I need a CAT5 splitter.”

Employee: “Well, 85% to 90% of the time, you’re going to need a switch.”

Me: “I know what I’m doing. I don’t need a switch. I need a splitter.”

Employee: “Okay. Let’s see. What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m splitting the signal for a POS printer; that hardly needs any connectivity. So I don’t need a full signal from a switch; I need THE SPLITTER.”

Employee: “Oh. Yeah, you’d need a splitter for that. Why didn’t you say so? But we’re out.”

Manager: *who has been watching* “Jeez, I’m sorry. Splitters are right here. Also, I’m giving you 10% off for your trouble.”

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Very Bad At Stolen Goods

| Sydney, Nova Scotia, Canada | Working | August 19, 2013

(I work next to a large electronics store. I see two guys standing by a display of PlayStations. This is when they are retailing for around $500. Suddenly, each of the guys reaches down, grabs a couple of boxed PlayStations, and runs for the door. The sensor alarms go off, loudly enough that you can hear them deep in the store, but neither of the two cashiers seem to notice. I see the guys run out to the parking lot and jump into a car. I get a good look at the car, and a partial license plate.)

Me: “I just got a good look at the car they jumped into. Do you need me to make a report?”

Cashier #1: “The car who jumped into?”

Me: “…those two guys who just took your PlayStations.”

Cashier #2: *looking over* “What PlayStations?”

Me: *in disbelief* “Two guys just took a couple of PlayStations each from your display over there. The alarm went off.”

Cashier #1: “Oh, I didn’t notice.”

Me: “Look, I think I’d better report this information. Could I speak to your manager for a minute?”

(The best part? The cashier does call the manager, but she listens to the story without writing anything down. When I ask if she’d like my phone number in case they need more information, she just shrugs. Something tells me they won’t be doing so well at inventory time.)

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Lost In Their Own Translation

| Belgium | Right | August 6, 2013

(My husband and I are from America. We move overseas to Belgium for his job, and make every effort to learn the native language. I am shopping for a computer part, but am tripping over the technical terms. The clerk mercifully switches over to English for my benefit. As he is helping me, a few native men queue up behind me and overhear us.)

Customer #1: *in French* “Such a typical American; expecting everyone to cater to them and their stupid language.”

Customer #2: *in French* “Can’t blame her. This b**** looks too stupid to learn French.”

Me: *in French* “Looks can be deceiving, gentlemen.”

(The customer turns red and quickly wanders off. The clerk is laughing so hard, he has to sit down.)

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His Powers To Resist Are Limited (Edition)

| NJ, USA | Working | August 5, 2013

Me: “I’d like to buy Mists of Pandaria, please.”

Clerk: “Would you also like to buy the Mists of Pandaria Limited Edition Game Guide?”

Me: “No, thank you; just the game.”

Clerk: “But it has everything you need to get your characters to the highest levels.”

Me: “No, I really can’t justify the extra expense.”

Clerk: *sing-song voice* “Limited edition…”

Me: “My wife would kill me.”

Clerk: “Comes with Panda Chopsticks.”

Me: “…d*** it.”

Clerk: “Gotcha.”

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