Don’t Forget To Stock Up On Salmon Cartridges

| Hagerstown, MD, USA | Technology

(A customer is sent back to my department to find ink for her printer.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Do you need black or color?”

Customer: “I need cayenne.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know which color you mean. We have cyan; that’s a light blue.”

Customer: “No, I need cayenne. You know, like a peppery red.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t believe we have that color.”

(The customer bends over to get a closer look at the ink.)

Customer: “Hmmm, margarine.” *looking at the magenta* “Yellow…I don’t see cayenne.”

Me: “Are you sure you don’t mean cyan? It kinda sounds like cayenne.”

Customer: “No, I need red. My printer is out of red. Why wouldn’t you carry red ink?!” *walks out of the store before I can explain further*

It Never Hurts To Ask…And Ask…And Ask

, | Ontario, Canada | Technology

Customer: “I need help finding a cord to plug my printer into my computer. It’s a [printer] and a Mac computer.”

Me: “Well, all printer cables are universal these days, so I’ll show you where they are.”

(We go to the cable aisle.)

Me: “This is the cable you’ll need. It comes in two different lengths.”

Customer: “This is the one I need?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Just like that?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “You just know this is the cable I need?”

Me: “Yes, they are all the same.”

Customer: “How do you know?”

Me: “Because all the cables are made the same. This square part goes in the printer, and this part goes in your computer.”

Customer: “And you just know this is the right one?”

Me: “Yes, there is only one kind.”

Customer: “And you’re sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How?”

Me: “Because they are all universal.”

Customer: “But how do you know that?”

Me: “I don’t know. Maybe because I work here?”

Customer: “Well, if this isn’t the right one, I’ll be bringing it back!”

Transactions For Dummies

| Florida, USA | Money

(I am working the register at a well-known video game store, when a customer approaches with a stack of games and his son.)

Me: “That will be $87.96.”

Customer: “Here.” *gives me a gift card worth $25*

Me: *processes gift card* “Your balance is $62.96.”

Customer: “What do you I do now?”

Me: “You give me more money.”

Customer: “Oh, sorry. I have never been here before…”