Very Bad At Stolen Goods

| Sydney, Nova Scotia, Canada | Working | August 19, 2013

(I work next to a large electronics store. I see two guys standing by a display of PlayStations. This is when they are retailing for around $500. Suddenly, each of the guys reaches down, grabs a couple of boxed PlayStations, and runs for the door. The sensor alarms go off, loudly enough that you can hear them deep in the store, but neither of the two cashiers seem to notice. I see the guys run out to the parking lot and jump into a car. I get a good look at the car, and a partial license plate.)

Me: “I just got a good look at the car they jumped into. Do you need me to make a report?”

Cashier #1: “The car who jumped into?”

Me: “…those two guys who just took your PlayStations.”

Cashier #2: *looking over* “What PlayStations?”

Me: *in disbelief* “Two guys just took a couple of PlayStations each from your display over there. The alarm went off.”

Cashier #1: “Oh, I didn’t notice.”

Me: “Look, I think I’d better report this information. Could I speak to your manager for a minute?”

(The best part? The cashier does call the manager, but she listens to the story without writing anything down. When I ask if she’d like my phone number in case they need more information, she just shrugs. Something tells me they won’t be doing so well at inventory time.)

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Lost In Their Own Translation

| Belgium | Right | August 6, 2013

(My husband and I are from America. We move overseas to Belgium for his job, and make every effort to learn the native language. I am shopping for a computer part, but am tripping over the technical terms. The clerk mercifully switches over to English for my benefit. As he is helping me, a few native men queue up behind me and overhear us.)

Customer #1: *in French* “Such a typical American; expecting everyone to cater to them and their stupid language.”

Customer #2: *in French* “Can’t blame her. This b**** looks too stupid to learn French.”

Me: *in French* “Looks can be deceiving, gentlemen.”

(The customer turns red and quickly wanders off. The clerk is laughing so hard, he has to sit down.)

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His Powers To Resist Are Limited (Edition)

| NJ, USA | Working | August 5, 2013

Me: “I’d like to buy Mists of Pandaria, please.”

Clerk: “Would you also like to buy the Mists of Pandaria Limited Edition Game Guide?”

Me: “No, thank you; just the game.”

Clerk: “But it has everything you need to get your characters to the highest levels.”

Me: “No, I really can’t justify the extra expense.”

Clerk: *sing-song voice* “Limited edition…”

Me: “My wife would kill me.”

Clerk: “Comes with Panda Chopsticks.”

Me: “…d*** it.”

Clerk: “Gotcha.”

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Guessing Remotely

| Sterling, VA, USA | Working | August 1, 2013

Me: “Do you happen to have the remote for this TV?” *points to a TV on display*

Employee: “Actually I’m off work right now… is that a Pac-Man ghost?” *points to my t-shirt*

Me: “No, that’s a creeper from Minecraft.”

Employee: “It looks like a Pac-Man ghost.”

Me: “So do you have the remote?”

Employee: “Cherries.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “Strawberries. Oranges.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “Blue ghost.”

Magic-Touch-Phone

| Australia | Right | July 27, 2013

Customer: “I want to return this phone; it won’t turn on.”

(I turn on the phone, and it works perfectly.)

Me: “Hmm, seems to be turning on just fine.”

Customer: “I’ve been doing that all yesterday, and it didn’t work! You must have magic hands or something.”

Me: “That’s the only explanation I can think of. I should use my powers for good and go out and use my magic touch to heal things like leprosy.”

Lady: *in all seriousness* “Oh no, I don’t have that.”

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