Not The Usual Third Wheel

| Rochester, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(I am the only girl on a team of 5-6 working in a computer repair store. There are always a few “regulars” that came in to seek help from me.)

Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yes.” *pause* “It’s my computer…”

Me: “Okay, what’s wrong?”

Customer: “Um, actually I was wondering if you would like to go get dinner or coffee or something sometime?”

Me: “Sir, I am married. Now, what is wrong with your computer?”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “What does being married have to do with going out?”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “Oh, okay, fine! He can come too!”

Going From Positive To Negative

, | Singapore | Top

(This happens after I help an old lady with a home theater system for over an hour and a half, explaining every little detail and giving her a demo.)

Customer: “Thank you very much, young lady. I’m sorry for taking too much of your time.”

Me: “You’re welcome. No worries. It’s my pleasure to help you.”

Customer: “I know some of my questions are stupid, but you are very patient.”

Me: “Not a problem at all. Some of these things can be very confusing, even for myself, and I work here!”

Customer: “I should give a compliment letter about you.”

Me: “Wow, thanks very much. You can do that at the cashier. Oh, by the way–the remote control doesn’t have any batteries. Should we go get them now? It will save you a trip.”

Customer: “That’s a great idea!”

(We proceed to go to the battery section of the store.)

Me: “So, here we are, you need two AAs.”

Customer: “Do you have the [brand] ones?”

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry. I think we just ran out. We have other brands though. Would you like to try?”

Customer: “You and your f***ing store! I’ve never received such terrible service! This is the reason why people don’t go back here! I will have you fired! You will never work again!”

Me: *speechless*

So Good It’s Not Even There, Part 2

| Essex, UK | Technology

Customer: “I need a printer cable.”

Me: “Just a regular power cable?”

Customer: “No, not one of those. One to go from my printer to my laptop.”

Me: “Oh, you mean a USB cable?”

Customer: “Yeah, a USB cable, that’s it. That is wireless, yeah?”

So Good It’s Not Even There

The Birds, The Bees, And The Brutally Honest

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

(A little boy is wandering around unattended, touching all the TVs.)

Me: “Where’s your mom or dad?”

Boy: “Well, my mom’s over there.” *points to mother*

Me: “Okay, why don’t you go over to her?”

Boy: “Yeah, sure. By the way, I don’t know who my dad is. My mom was a hooker.”

GPS: Great Practitioners Of Stupidity, Part 2

, | IL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [electronics store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Well, here’s the thing. My husband and I are coming to you to return our GPS. It’s broken.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. So what is the problem?”

Customer: “We weren’t sure where you are located, so we plugged the address into our GPS, and now we’re lost.”

Me: ”Was this the same GPS that you were coming to return?!”

Customer: “Yes, but we figured since we brought it to you, it would at least know how to find you.”

GPS: Great Practitioners Of Stupidity

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