Too Much Information For Too Little Intelligence

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “I saw a paper shredder on your website saying it’s 50 bucks off for your Black Friday sale. Is that true?”

Me: “Probably… let’s check the flyer.”

(I look, but can’t see it in the flyer anywhere.)

Me: “Was it possibly an online-only sale that you saw?”

Customer: “No, it said online and in store, Friday only!”

Me: “Okay, let me check the website, then. I don’t see it in the flyer for some reason.”

(I look it up and see that it is in fact advertised on our website, from Friday-Tuesday.)

Me: “I’m not sure why it wasn’t in our flyer, but yes, there is a paper shredder for 50 dollars off for the Black Friday sale. The sale starts on Friday, but for this item, it will still be on sale until Tuesday. I would still come in on Friday though, just in case, because they might sell out on the first day.”

Customer: “Ugh! Is it on sale on Friday, or not!?”

Me: “Umm, yes. It goes on sale on Friday and stays on sale until Tuesday.”

Customer: “So, it’s on sale on Friday?”

Me: “…Yes.”

Does Not Com-Poo-te

| TX, USA | Technology

(I work at a computer repair store.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, my laptop won’t turn on.”

Me: “Okay, let me check it out for a few minutes and see if I can’t figure out what’s going on.”

(I proceed to run my typical quick diagnostics when a computer won’t turn on. I try a different AC adapter, hold down the power for 30 seconds, etc. but nothing seems to work.)

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like it’s still not wanting to work, but I can send it out for a fee. What happened to it?”

Customer: “Well, my toilet exploded on it.”

Me: “…Excuse me… what?”

Customer: “Yeah, my toilet exploded on it.”

Me: “Yeah, unfortunately we can’t fix that, but we have a bunch of new laptops you can look at.”

(I then proceeded to scrub myself all the way up to my elbows in the bathroom, appalled that he didn’t tell me that until AFTER I had handled it!)

Apps Never Have An Off Day

| HI, USA | Technology

(I am helping a customer become familiar with his new product by showing him how to turn it on and off.)

Me: “If you press and hold the button on the top right hand corner of the device, you’ll see an icon on the screen that you can slide to turn it off.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought they would have an app for that.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “They have apps for everything else, so why not for turning it off? That seems silly.”

Me: “Well, how would you turn it back on if it’s off and you can’t use the screen to get apps?”

Customer: “Oh… well, I thought it was clever!”