My Head Megahertz

, | Henderson, NV, USA | Technology, Top

Customer: “I need a new laptop. I want one better than the one I have. I want to spend no more than 600 dollars.”

(After finding out that he has a machine running Windows 98 with 512 MB of RAM and 60 GB of hard drive space, I provide him several different laptop choices within his price range. They have either 3 GB or 4 GB of RAM, running Windows 7.)

Customer: “No, no, no! I said better! I have 512 memory, but you keep recommending only 3 and 4! Also, 7 is way lower than 98! Get me someone who knows what I mean by better!”

And The Picture Becomes Clear

, | Paris, France | Technology

(The customer arrives very angry at my desk. He nervously holds a memory card in his hand.)

Customer: “I want a new memory card. This one is really bad!”

Me: “What troubles do you have with this one?”

Customer: “It only makes blurry pictures!”

Me: “Well, I guess the problem might be the camera, not the memory card.”

Customer: “Oh, and do you have memory cards in black & white?”

Me: “Or it could be the photographer…”

Don’t Mess With Gamer Chicks

| Massachusetts, USA | Top

(A very busty, bubbly young woman comes in to buy a pre-owned copy of Resident Evil 4.)

Woman: “My stupid ex-boyfriend took all my games when he moved out! He doesn’t even like Resident Evil!”

Me: “Wow, that sucks.”

Woman: “It’s fine. I hooked up with his brother. I don’t start s***, I end it. Mess with my games and it is ON.”

Me: *laughing*

(I ended up giving her a discount.)

I’m Having My iPeriod

, | New Zealand | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi there, darling. Uh, I was wondering, do you have any pads?”

Me: “Do you mean iPads?”

Customer: “Yeah pads, iPads, whatever. Can you show me where they are?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. Are you interested in the iPad or the iPad 2?”

Customer: “Wait…so, like, you use the iPad at day and the iPad 2 at night?”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 4

, | Atlanta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am shopping at a store I used to work at and am approached by several customers before I realize I am wearing the same blue/khaki colors as in their uniform. I am trying to find something when I am approached by an angry lady.)

Customer: “The TV you sold me isn’t working!”

Me: “I don’t work–”

Customer: “You have no idea what you’re talking about and sold me a horrible TV. I demand to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Fine, go find him.”

Customer: “Really? Is that how you’re going to handle this? Fine, I will!”

(I go back to shopping but watch her walk around to find my former manager. She returns with him in tow.)

Customer: “He’s the one that sold me the broken TV last week, and now he’s being rude. You need to do something about him.”

Manager: “Ma’am, he hasn’t worked here in almost a year. He–”

Customer: “I want him fired.”

Manager: “Uh, okay, you’re fired.”

Me: “Cool, see you later, man.”

Customer: *smug, evil look*

Me: *goes back to shopping*

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 3
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 2
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here

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