Not Dropping The Charges

| Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(A customer comes in to return a totally shattered phone.)

Customer: “It’s really cold outside and I was using it and pop!”

Me: “This looks like it was dropped.”

Customer: “I didn’t drop it; it just cracked!”

Me: “That’s not possible.”

Customer: “I want to see your manager.”

Me: “That won’t be necessary.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “That won’t be necessary. Just like me, he is not going to want his intelligence questioned by someone who claims he just saw the laws of physics being broken, at the hands of an irresponsible user.”

Customer: “…fine. I might have dropped it on the ice.”

Me: “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

David Vs. On-The-Warpath

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Top

(I’m helping a very nice woman with her cellphone. Suddenly, a man built like a bodybuilder comes rushing into the store, his arms full of documents.)

Me: *to the man* “I’ll be with you in just a few minutes.”

(Instead of waiting, the man pushes the woman out of the way to get to me.)

Customer: “Hey, I need to use one of your computers. Can you log me in?” *gestures towards a setup of demo laptops*

Me: “Uh, for what, exactly?”

Customer: “I need to do some online banking quickly. Just f***ing unlock one of those computers already.”

Me: “Look, I can’t let you do that. Those machines get sold, and if somebody gets your bank info off of a machine I sell them, I’m liable. More so, your attitude isn’t very respectful, sir.”

Customer: “I don’t f***ing care if people steal my bank info! I just need to get this s*** done. Now, let me on!”

Me: “No. There’s a public library open further down the street, but I refuse to allow you onto our machines, not just for liability reasons, but for how you’re treating me.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you then!”

Me: “You can leave my store, or I can call the police on you. Your choice.”

(The man walks out of the store raging, and the woman I am helping before just looks at me shocked.)

Woman: “I am amazed you talked to him like that. He looked like he could have snapped you in half!”

Me: “At some point, you just get tired of some people. Let’s finish you up here.”

(Later that week, I got a commendation from Head Office, star service award. I was nominated by the woman I served that night.)

Getting Out Of A Scrape

| Cuyahoga Falls, OH, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Wild & Unruly

(I work for a well-known electronics store chain that has their own repair section for electronics. A high school-aged customer brings in her laptop to be checked out.)

Customer: “I have no idea what’s wrong! It just won’t do anything.”

(My coworker takes her laptop and runs a virus scan.)

Coworker: “You have quite a few viruses. It’ll be [price] to remove them.”

Customer: “Oh, but I have a warranty! Those are covered, right?”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, the plan you have only covers accidental physical damage.”

Customer: “Who the f*** do you guys think you are? You’re nothing! You have to fix this!”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, we can’t unless you pay.”

(The customer grabs the laptop and leaves the store. It’s a slow day, so we’re joking around near the front doors when we see the girl open her laptop, place it on the asphalt, step and scrape it into the ground, before picking it back up and bringing it back in.)

Customer: “While I was walking to the car, I accidentally dropped it!”

Me: “You know, we saw you scraping it up outside, right? You did it right in front of the window.”

Customer: “NO, IT WAS ACCIDENTAL DAMAGE! YOU CAN’T PROVE THAT I DID THIS!”

Coworker: “We can always go get the security footage.”

(The customer made a huge fuss, so our manager agreed to take and send the laptop to the service center. Big surprise: it got sent back unrepaired because it wasn’t accidental damage.)