A customer is choosing what smartphone she’d like to upgrade to, and I am taking her through some options. Her mother is with her, looking bored.

Me: “This model is a great phone if you’re not interested in photography and you just use it to go online.”

Customer’s Mother: “You don’t want that one! It’s ugly, and I don’t like where they put the cameras.”

Customer: “It’s fine, Mom. Let me see my options.”

Customer’s Mother: “Hmph! I’m just trying to help.”

Customer: “Sorry, mom, but you’ll forgive me if I don’t take technological advice from someone who still thinks the Internet is just a fad in 2023.”

The customer’s mother was quiet for the rest of the transaction… by scrolling on her phone’s Facebook.

This was many years ago, in the early days when MP3 players were available and still a new and exciting thing. My older sister had a part-time job while in high school and had saved up money to buy one, and as her birthday was approaching, my parents agreed to help make up the difference as her birthday present.

My whole family tagged along to buy it. It was a very exciting thing, and as jealous as I was of my sister for getting an MP3 player, she said I could have her old Walkman, and I was very grateful.

We went to an electronics store, and we were greeted by an older lady who worked there.

Now, I have nothing against older people working with electronics, but I could see from my parents’ faces that they didn’t want to be served by her when she started talking about how technology is moving too fast… And she worked in an electronics store and was meant to sell these things.

My sister started asking about the types of players available and pointed out some she had seen in the catalogue which were in her price range.

Sister: “I saw this one, which is in our price range and can hold 150 songs!”

The sales lady rolled her eyes and looked fed up.

Sales Lady: “Oh, that’s no good! You don’t need 150 songs! All you actually need is five or six songs, and you can just swap them around every now and then!”

I think she probably had a heart attack when Spotify was released.

This story takes place some years back before digital started to really take over how people get their video games and physical media was still very much in high demand. I’m an avid PC gamer.

I work near a well-known chain of tech stores, and maybe once a week, I just take a few minutes to head over to the store and peruse the aisle of PC games while I am on my lunch break. It is a nice break from dealing with customers on the phone at my work all day, every day.

One day, I have twenty minutes to kill before I have to leave to get back to work in time, so I do my usual and wander through the PC games. I happen to find a couple that I’ve wanted for a while that have been priced down from their initial release price. I pick them up, and since I have a bit of time left, I wander through the pre-built PC section just to see what kind of hardware some of these overpriced pre-built computers have in them.

Most pre-built systems at these stores aren’t really geared toward gaming, but a couple of models have okay graphic cards in them, and I’m always interested in looking. Most systems are dual-cores and one has a fancier quad-core — Q6600, if anyone remembers this bad boy back in the day. It’s not that I need one of these systems, but I just like to check out the hardware.

Nearby, a salesman is trying to sell to a customer, and I’m just kind of listening to what he’s pulling out of his rear as they walk and talk through the computer section.

Customer: “I’m looking for a good computer that’s fast. I need it to do fast emails for my work. I do a lot of work using Office.”

Salesman: “This computer here has a four-core processor, so it does work faster than that dual-core I was showing you.”

Customer: “Oh. That’s very good, then! I see it says four cores at 2.4 G-H-Zs. Is that good?”

I’m not listening too much, just catching bits and pieces here and there, until the salesman tells the customer this doozy of a line as they happen to stop right behind me.

Salesman: “That means you have four cores that add up to 9.6 gigahertz! That makes this computer so much faster than that two-core one that only reaches around 4.5 gigahertz!”

I start laughing out loud. This takes the salesman and the customer by surprise, and they turn their attention to me. I address the customer.

Me: “That’s not how it works. If I were you, I wouldn’t listen to a thing this guy has to say, and I’d save myself a lot of money by not buying here. Do yourself a favor and go to [Other Chain] instead; they know what they’re talking about.”

I glanced at the salesman “computer geek” guy, shook my head, laughed again, and made my way to the checkout counter.

During this trip, not only did I find a couple of games I wanted, but I also got a good laugh from a clueless employee trying to BS a potential customer.

I used to be a systems engineer in the golden age of physical disc drives. I also did tech support when needed.

Customer: “My CD-ROM drive was installed upside down, and I can’t figure out how to get my CDs in!”

After going through some troubleshooting, it seems like his drive really IS upside down.

Me: “I’ve never heard of this before. Can you bring it by, please? I’ll take a look”

I really want to see this; I am really confused about how some manufacturer could send one out without realizing it. The caller brings it in the next day.

Customer: “See, it’s upside down!”

He demonstrates trying to put a CD in.

Me: “Well… yes, I can confirm that the CD drive is upside down…”

Customer: “Thank you!“

Me: “…in relation to us, but not in relation to the actual computer; the whole thing is currently upside down.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Your whole tower is upside down.”

I turn it right-side up for him.

Me: “I asked you to read off the serial number yesterday during troubleshooting. You didn’t notice that the whole thing was upside down?”

Customer: “I… uh… Bye.”

He grabbed his (now right way up) tower and rushed out considerably more quickly than when he came in.

I have already put in my two-week notice, and it’s my last night working. It’s 8:50 pm, and we close at 9:00. There is a phone call.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Technology Company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. I just bought one of your netbooks and I have a problem with it.”

Me: “What is the problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “It won’t open.”

Me: “You mean, it won’t turn on?”

Caller: “No, it won’t open.”

I realize the customer does not know how to open a netbook. I proceed to tell her in the simplest way how to do so.

Me: “Take both your hands, put them between the little crack in the middle of the laptop, and pull your hands away from each other.”

Caller: “I know how to open a laptop; I am not stupid. Is there a button or something I need to press? There seems to be a big large bar in the front of the laptop; do I have to press it?”

I now understand that the “big large bar” is a battery.

Me: “That is the battery, ma’am. Please turn your laptop around and do what I told you before.”

Caller: “Oh wow, now it is open. Thank you. Now how do I turn it on?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but we are closed now. Come back tomorrow.”

So sue me, but I had had enough. I’m so happy I left that job.