Every Sentence That Starts “Pimp My” Is A Bad One

, , , , | Right | May 18, 2020

Our family operates a bakery, but my husband also repairs iPhones, etc., on the side.

A big SUV pulls up in front of the shop and out gets this not-so-petite girl with all kinds of rhinestones, shocking pink and leopard print, skin-tight leggings instead of pants, the whole nine yards. She trots into the store.

Customer: “Someone tol’ me that some man here does cell phones.”

Me: “Yes, my husband repairs broken glass and stuff like that, depending on the type of phone.”

Customer: “Do you have any pictures of his work?”

Me: “Not really, since it’s just a matter of changing the glass or the case.”

Customer: “No, no, I want him to fix my phone but I want to see his work.”

Me: “There are no photos to show. He just changes the glass or the case and it’s done; nothing worth taking pictures of.”

Customer: “No, I want him to pimp my phone. You know… with rhinestones and bling and s*** like that.”

Me: “Sorry, he doesn’t pimp phones with diamonds like that; he just fixes broken glass.”

Customer: “D***, I want to pimp my phone.”

Me: “Sorry, no pimping here!”

You don’t want a fifty-year-old white man pimping your phone!

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What They Were LED To Believe

, , | Right | May 14, 2020

I work in a call centre as product support for a well-known electronics company.

Me: “[Company]’s product support, [My Name] speaking; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I just bought this television and now, when I’m trying to watch it, I don’t see any picture. I do get picture if I use my new DVD player with it.”

Me: “Okay. So, just to specify, it’s a [Company] television?”

Customer: *Frustrated voice* “Yes, yes.”

Me: “All right, can I get the model number of the TV?”

The customer starts saying a weird-sounding model number and mentions another big electronics company’s name while muttering something inaudible.

Me: “Just a moment, did you just say [Company #2]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “So, is this actually a [Company #2]’s television?”

Customer: *Sighs frustratedly* “Yes?”

Me: “Do you realize you’re calling [Company]’s product support?”

Customer: “Yes, but it’s LED!”

I pause.

Me: “That still doesn’t make it our television. Here, I’ll find out the number for [Company #2]’s product support.”

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Unfiltered Story #192449

, , | Unfiltered | April 24, 2020

ME: “Thanks for calling (COMPANY NAME), My name is Benjamin, how can I help you?
CUSTOMER: “I wanna talk to Scott.”
ME: “Sure! He’s here, he’s just on the phone with another customer. I’ll put you in his queue, just stay on the line and he’ll talk to you when he’s done”
CUSTOMER: “No, connect me with him now.”
ME: “I’m sorry?”
CUSTOMER: “I wanna talk to Scott now, connect me with him.”
ME: “Uh, I’m sorry, I can’t do that. He’s talking to someone else right now.”
CUSTOMER: “I don’t care. I need to talk to him, tell him to hang up so that I can talk to him.”
ME: “I’m not going to do that, sir. He’s currently in the middle of a conversation. So I can either put you in his queue, or I can give your phone number to him and he’ll call you when he is ready.”
-About 30 seconds of silence pass-
CUSTOMER: “Where is your office located?”
ME: “We are in Washington State, sir.”
CUSTOMER: “Alright, that’s fine. I’ve been flying a lot lately, I’ll buy a ticket and come see you folks. Connect me with Scott, right now!”
ME: “No. I am not going to interrupt a conversation with another customer just to get you on the phone with him. You can either be patient and wait in the queue, or I will have him call you back!”
-Another 30 seconds of silence pass-
CUSTOMER: “How old are you?”
ME (With a raised voice): “My age is not relevant to this conversation! I am ending this call now! You can call back when you feel like being mature!”
-I disconnect the line, coworkers laugh, supervisor listens to the call later and figured the caller must have been drunk by the sound of his voice. Supervisor high-fives me for telling him off-

Unfiltered Story #132312

, , | Unfiltered | December 12, 2018

When I was visiting Washington DC for a week, my dad broke his phone. As he was getting it fixed, I heard this little gem.

Woman: You fixed my f***ing phone last week now look at it!

Repair man (who was currently apologising in sign to the mother of a family of 3) : I can see, now how did it break? Did you drop it? And please mind your language.

Woman: No I f***ing didn’t! How f***ing dare you!  It was in my bag the whole f***ing time! You child! Come here! NOW!

She points at me and I walk over scared.

Woman: Does this look like it was broken by being dropped.

She then dropped it.

Me: Well, now it’s definitely broken.

Woman: B**ch.

She walked out whilst slamming the door, only to forget her well, damaged phone.

There Is No Safety In Numbers

, , , | Working | January 4, 2018

(I have broken the screen on my phone and am calling to find a place to get it fixed. Since I live in such a small town, there isn’t anywhere I can get it done locally. I am calling on a Tuesday.)

Me: “Hello, I have a [phone] and need to get the screen replaced, and I was wondering if you could do so?”

Owner: “Sure, but I don’t have the parts to do so today, but I can order it for tomorrow.”

Me: “That’s fine. I live over an hour away, and couldn’t bring it in until Friday afternoon, if that’s all right.”

Owner: “Oh, I can definitely have the part by then. And we have time, if you would like to set up an appointment. I just need a name and phone number.”

Me: “Okay, I’m [Name] and my number is [number].”

Owner: “Can you repeat that number for me?”

Me: “Sure. It’s [number].”

Owner: “Okay, thanks. I’ll see you Friday.”

(Friday comes around and I drive to the shop.)

Me: “Hello, I talked to someone a few days ago about getting my phone fixed.”

Owner: “Yeah, you talked to me. Sorry, my supplier is out of stock for your phone, so I can’t get it replaced, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to get the part in. And I didn’t write your number down, so I couldn’t call you.”

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