I’m looking at a customer’s broken phone.

Me: “Did the phone come into contact with water or any other liquids?”

Customer: “Does toilet water count?”

Me: “…”

And this is why we wear gloves to work…

I own a local electronic repair business: cell phones, iPads, etc. Once I showed up at an office to do a phone repair, and had the client paged to come meet me.

I was wearing a uniform with my company’s name on it and carrying a large tool kit. The customer walked right past me to the person standing behind me, who was wearing a suit and carrying a manila envelope.

Guess my gender. Yep, I’m a woman. Guess the gender of the person behind me. Yep, a man.

It could not possibly have been more obvious which one of us was a technician there to do a repair, and yet…

Manila Envelope Guy: “I’m sorry, but if you want someone to help with your phone, maybe you should ask the lady wearing the [Company Name] uniform behind you.”

Client: “Oh, I talked to a guy on the phone to make the appointment. Do you even know how to fix phones?”

Me: “Sir, I’m carrying a toolbox and wearing the uniform. Why would I show up if I didn’t know how to do my job?”

The client waved his hand dismissively at me.

Client: “I’m sorry, but I need to have a real expert come fix my phones.”

Me: “…Very well. I will close the ticket and mark it as you have refused services from a woman. This will put you on our blacklist.”

Client: “You’re just a tech, so you don’t have that power. You just do what you’re told. I’ll explain things to your Manager.”

Yes, he emphasized the ‘man’ part of manager. Sigh. I can’t make this stuff up.

I walked out, closed the ticket, and filled out the notes part, using my work phone.

Getting back to my building, I walked in to see my [Male] receptionist avidly waiting for my arrival, looking like he was going to bust a seam if he didn’t laugh to relieve the pressure.

Me: “Let it out [Receptionist’s Name], then you can tell me how it went.”

Receptionist: *After laughing his a** off.* “Okay, so I got a call from [Client]. He complained that the ‘little girl’ we sent him was rude, unprofessional, and had no idea what she was doing. I pulled up our app and read your notes out loud to him.”

Me: *Smirking.* “I’m sure he didn’t like that, one bit. Let me guess, he claimed I was lying.”

Receptionist: “Badda bingo. I also told him that his account was marked as blacklisted due to his sexism. He demanded that I remove the blacklisting, as ‘a lowly tech doesn’t get to make those decisions.'”

I knew what was coming and shared grins with him.

Receptionist: “Oh yes, I did indeed tell him, ‘Sir, that was the company OWNER you just disrespected. Since there’s nothing else that can be done for you, I’m ending the call here.’ Then I hung up on him, sputtering.”

Me: “Thanks, [Receptionist]. That’s the second-best comeback to ‘Sir, this is a Wendy’s.’ ”

Receptionist: “What happens if you actually tell them that you’re not a tech, but the owner?”

Me: “Best case, they laugh, then look embarrassed when they realize I’m not joking. Worst case, they tell me to go home, make my man a sandwich, and stop taking jobs from qualified men.”

Receptionist: “Yeouch. I’ve got to admit, I was surprised by his attitude. Did I pop into a way-back machine to the 1970s?”

Me: “Sadly, no, This kind of thing has happened multiple times to me over the years, all of which have happened between 2014 and now.”

By the look on [Receptionist’s] face, I feel like I might have destroyed his soul a little bit. For me, it is, sadly, business as usual.

In the mid-1980s, I was working as a copier repair technician. One of my customers was the local hospital, and one of their copiers was an old model with a large top. Half of it was the platen cover (where you put the original), and the other half was to access some parts, mainly the toner hopper (Xerox 3100, if you’re curious). That large surface was ideal for sorting documents before and after printing but also as a table to… remove staples and paper clips.

Now, I’m sure anybody can figure out what a staple or a paper clip can do INSIDE a machine.

So, I got a call where an old staple had found its way inside the copier and scratched the photoreceptor drum. A stapler and a staple remover were resting on top of the copier.

I showed the culprit to the nearby secretary, who immediately wrote a note advising not to staple or remove staples on the machine and moved the devices to the nearby for-purpose table, saying that she was sorry, but lots of other people used that copier and moved the stapler all the time.

This copier was under a full-service contract, so no fees for them.

About a week later, another call for the same issue, although the previous “do not” note was well visible, pinned on the wall behind the copier.

One week later: yes, another one. After the third time, it was obvious that nobody was reading the note, so I took a blank piece of paper and wrote a message on it. I figured that, in a hospital, you may have to talk “hospital language”.

Message: “This copier contains moving magnetic organs. The introduction of a microbe (e.g., a staple) can cause great trauma to vital organs, requiring the intervention of a qualified copier surgeon. Please help the copier maintain good health by avoiding spreading viruses and other microbes around it by keeping the microbe host away from it. Thank you. Signed: your local copier surgeon.”

I taped the “virus” found that day on the paper and simply left that message on the copier, under the stapler (because it was no use to put it back on its table). I did not mention the note to the secretary or anyone else.

Oddly enough, the next time I went there was not for a service call but for a scheduled maintenance, almost two months later. When I came in, I smiled. The machine did not have a stapler or stapler remover on it. They were nicely stowed on the nearby table. In place of the “do not” note was my message, handwritten and skewed, pinned on the wall behind the copier. Never got another staple-related incident after that. 

I guess you have to speak the right language.

I manage the retail side of a video game and electronics store and repair shop. When we get phones in for repair, we tell them up front that the turnaround time is about an hour and a half to two hours. We especially emphasize this to the people who drop off phones around two hours before we close.

Today was a decent day, and we actually managed to get the store closed out by the time we closed at 7:00. Both registers were counted and turned off for the night, the trash was taken out, everything was cleaned for the night, and money was on its way to the safe.

Our store phones automatically send calls to voicemail starting at 7:00, and one call tonight just managed to sneak in by all of five seconds, so I did the kind thing and picked up.

Me: “[Store], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Y’all close at 7:00, right?”

Me: “Yes, we close at 7:00, and we are technically closed for the night.”

Caller: “Well, I dropped my phone off for repair. It’s [Caller].”

I check the name.

Me: “Yep, I do have the phone right here, repaired and ready for pickup in the morning. Our registers are already closed for the night and with how the repair system works, they do have to be rung through the register.”

Caller: “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?! I LIVE THIRTY MINUTES AWAY! I HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING! I NEED MY PHONE TONIGHT!”

Me: “I’m sorry, our registers are closed for the night. I was also present when you dropped the phone off, and I did hear the associate let you know that the repair would be completed sometime between 6:30 and 6:45 and that you should be in the area around then.”

The caller starts yelling to someone in the background.

Caller: “AND NOW SHE’S ACTING LIKE SHE DOESN’T EVEN CARE! YOU KNOW D*** WELL SHE’D BE DOING EVERYTHING TO GET HER PHONE BACK!”

The caller returns to yelling at me.

Caller: “Y’ALL ONLY CALLED ME TEN MINUTES AGO! I DON’T LIVE TEN MINUTES AWAY! YOU NEED TO OPEN THE REGISTERS BACK UP! I HAVE THE CASH! I CAN JUST GIVE IT TO YOU!”

Me: “I did also check with the technician, and it looks like according to our records, we reached out to you around 6:00 tonight. I’m very sorry you’re not able to pick it up tonight.”

Caller: “I NEED YOUR MANAGER OR SOMETHING!”

Me: “I am the manager. I’ve let you know what options you have, but unfortunately, I can’t open the registers and store back up.”

Caller: “I’M LEAVING Y’ALL A ONE-STAR REVIEW, AND I’M NEVER COMING BACK TO Y’ALL AGAIN!”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

The caller starts yelling to someone in the background again.

Me: “Okie-dokie, have a great night.”

I hung up the phone. About a minute later, the new voicemail alarm went off, and then again two minutes after that, meaning she tried to call back two more times and left angry voicemails when she couldn’t get through.

It was very clear that she was still at home when she called, which would’ve meant me keeping my staff here for a MINIMUM of forty-five extra minutes past their scheduled end time because we can’t close alone.

Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine.

I work at a specialty retail store, and one of the services we offer is device repair. An older lady dropped off an iPad mini for a new battery and probably a new screen. The screen had some minor cracking. There was a fifty-fifty chance we could get it off without making it worse, so we quoted the price of a new screen, as well. During the check-in of the device, we asked for the passcode so we could check that everything functions — the camera, Wi-Fi, speakers, and microphone. The customer declined, which isn’t that uncommon.

The repair went well. The screen did get damaged, so that got replaced. The customer picked it up and took it home.

She came back about an hour later and started yelling at me.

Customer: “You changed my passcode! I disabled the iPad for an hour because of too many failed attempts to log in! This is all your fault!”

Me: “Ma’am, since you declined to give us your passcode, it was impossible for us to have changed it.”

Anyone who works in device repair knows that if you mess something up with a device, it’s usually catastrophic and doesn’t work at all.

Customer: “I want a discount! Or my money back!”

That sure as h*** wasn’t happening. I’m also the assistant store manager, so I told her:

Me: “We aren’t responsible for you getting locked out. The only way you’re getting a refund is if I put the old, non-functioning battery back in and the cracked screen back on.

She did a literal “huff” and stomped out. I haven’t seen her since.