(I hostess at an upscale restaurant in a very nice part of town. I get a call like this about once a night on weekends, which are super busy.)
Customer: “Can I get a reservation for four at seven tonight for Dr. [Customer]?”
Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, we’re booked solid from six to ten. I can get you a reservation for tomorrow night if you’re interested.”
Customer: “But I’m a doctor.”
(Two middle-aged women walk into the store.)
Woman #1: “I need a guitar stand for my son.”
Me: “Let me go grab one for you.”
(I go into the back for a minute and return with the stand.)
Me: “They’re $18.95 plus tax.”
Woman #2: “You’re an animal.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Woman #2: “You’re an animal. It’s a good thing.”
Me: “All right, then.”
Woman #2: *to [Woman #1]* “I don’t know why people always get confused when I tell them that…”
(Working as a manager for a retail electronics business, I have a customer come in with a DVD player in a box, opened.)
Customer: “This DVD player doesn’t work. It won’t play my DVDs. Can I get an exchange?”
Me: “Well, let’s see if we can get it to work.”
(I take the DVD player over to the AV wall and quickly hook it up to our system. It takes under 30 seconds to do so, the customer in tow.)
Me: “Oh, here’s the problem. It seems that the disc somehow ended up upside down in the DVD player.”
(I flip the DVD over without even looking at the disc or anything and push it back in, turning back to the customer.)
Customer: “Oh, great! I knew something wasn’t quite ri–”
(Suddenly, coming up on all my TVs, blaring through the sound system that is usually playing a music DVD, comes blasting ‘Bow Chicka-Bow Bow!’ and a rather grotesque scene of cheesy p*rn. I think it is the fastest I have ever moved, because by the time the first customer turned around to see what was going on, I had the AV cables yanked.)
Customer: “Uh… That’s where that went! Heh…” *VERY sheepish look*
Me: “Okay, all fixed. Need me to help put this back in the box for you?”
Customer: “No, thanks. I can do it. Thank you for all your help.”
(I guess I wasn’t quick enough or just the sheer recognition of the music line, because I had two customers laughing very hard and one old lady who walked out very fast.)
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The customer needs help adding his music into his iTunes library. I show him how, and this happens:
Customer: “Uggghhh!”
Me: “What happened?”
Customer: “Well, I’ll be honest. It’s adding my p*rn.”
Me: *silence* “Oh…”
Customer: “Please make it stop! I don’t want p*rn on my iPod!”
Me: “Click the little X near the top.”
Customer: “Okay, it stopped.”
Me: “Try adding the My Music folder again.”
Customer: “It’s doing it again! Oh, God!”
Me: “Okay, uh… let’s just move it from your My Music folder to a new folder in My Documents.”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll do that.”
(A few seconds of silence pass while he moves the files)
Customer: “Oh, man. It’s gonna take 24 minutes for all the files to move.”
Me: “Twenty-four minutes? Are you sure?!”
Customer: “Yes, I’m sure.”
(I show him how to do some other unrelated action while the p*rn is moved)
Customer: “All right, great. Now that we’re done concealing my shame…”
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