(I have a caller named Victor Krumm in the computer system. I’m a Harry Potter fan.)
Me: “Okay, sir, so you’re Victor Krumm?”
Caller: “Yep, that’s me.”
Me: “Sorry, this might sound funny, but did you know that there’s a book series called Harry Potter with a character with that name?”
(There’s a pause, as if he’s thinking, and suddenly he yells.)
Caller: “THE MUGGLES KNOW!”
(He hangs up. His wife calls a little while later to actually schedule.)
(I work at a call center in Canada dealing with American cell customers. This is a call from a customer in Seattle.)
Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Does your company outsource to India?”
Me: “I don’t know for sure, but I know it does hire companies out of the USA.”
Caller: “I’d like to cancel my service, then.”
Me: “I can do that for you. May I ask why you’d like to cancel?”
Caller: “I don’t support companies that don’t support America. If they’re hiring out of America, then I don’t want to support them.”
Me: “All right, I’ll process that cancellation for you.”
Caller: “Am I calling to India?!”
Me: “No. I’m actually in Canada.”
Caller: “Oh, I love Canada! I do all my shopping there. Everything is so much cheaper!”
This story is part of the Customers-Who-Can’t-Hear-Themselves roundup!
(A customer wishes to pay with her debit card. I flip it over and see that it says ‘see ID’.)
Me: “May I please see your ID?”
Customer: “Why?”
Me: “It says ‘see ID’.”
Customer: “No it doesn’t!”
Me: “Yes, it does.”
(I show her the small writing that says ‘See ID’.)
Customer: “I know that’s there.”
Me: “Then may I see your ID?”
Customer: “That doesn’t apply to me.”
Me: “I don’t understand.”
Customer: “I put that there so that you can catch thieves that might use my card. It only applies to thieves, not me!”
This story is part of our Identity Theft roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
23 True Stories About Scammers Who Failed Miserably!
Read the next Identity Theft roundup story!
Read the Identity Theft roundup!
(A customer comes in to get a replacement debit card. Lost cards attract a replacement fee, but for stolen cards, the fee is waived.)
Customer: “I need to cancel my debit card and get a new one.”
Me: “No problem. Was it lost or stolen?”
Customer: *looks a bit confused* “I’ve only just noticed it’s missing. Does it make a difference?”
(I explain about the replacement card fee.)
Customer: “Yeah, I think it must have been stolen when I left my wallet in the car earlier.”
Me: “No problem. Do you happen to have any ID on you?”
Customer: “Sure.”
(The customer pulls out an old, tattered wallet that also clearly contains a reasonable amount of cash, and gets a driver’s license out.)
Me: “Thanks. You were pretty lucky.”
Customer: “How come?”
Me: “Lucky they only stole your debit card from your wallet.”
Customer: *suddenly looking guilty* “Yeah.”
(Pause.)
Customer: “So I’m going to be charged the replacement card fee?”
Me: “Yeah.”
This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!
Read the next Customers Caught Lying roundup story!
Read the Customers Caught Lying roundup!
Customer: “Excuse me, where is the tea?”
Me: “Right this way.”
Customer: “Do you have any tea that isn’t fair trade?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “Do you have any tea that isn’t fair trade? It’s more expensive!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you are missing the point.”
Customer: “It’s more expensive! That isn’t very fair to me!”
Did you find this story on our World Environment Day roundup?
