Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Kids Say The Truthiest Things

, , , , , | Right | April 6, 2008

(Santa was visiting our store, and every kid got a small bag of candy. Then this happened…)

Santa: “Here you go, little boy!”

Kid: “Thank you, Santa!”

Mom: “Aren’t you forgetting anything?”

Kid: “What, mommy?”

Mom: “Ask Santa for another bag for your brother like I told you.” *looks at Santa* “He’s sick at home and couldn’t come.”

Santa: “No problem!” *reaches for another bag*

Kid: “But mommy, I don’t have a brother!”

Mom: “…”

Santa: *puts bag back*


This story is part of the Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup!

Read the next Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup story!

Read the Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup!


This story is included in our Candy roundup!

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to read the Candy roundup!

The Land Of Maple Leafed Savages

, , , , | Right | April 5, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling technical support. My name is [My Name], how can I help you?

Customer: *distinct southern accent* “Where am I calling?”

Me: “[Company] technical support. Are you having trouble with your internet, sir?”

Customer: “I know that. I mean, what part of the world?”

Me: “I’m in Canada, sir. Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “Canada?! You have internet up in Canada?”

Me: “Nope… just got radio, in fact, I had to drive my dog sled into work. There was a horrible accident and I lost two dogs. It’s been a rough day.”

Customer: “Oh… well, I want technical support from a country who actually has it.” *click*

Supervisor: *monitoring calls* “You can’t be serious.”


This story is part of our Canada Day roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

Montgomery Scott’s Early Days At The Copy Shop

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2008

Customer: “My son is locked out of the house and I need to send him the key!”

Me: “We can overnight the key and have it to him by 10:30 am tomorrow morning. Shall we send the key to the neighbor’s house?”

Customer: “No, he needs it right now! Why can’t I just fax it?”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t fax a key.”

Customer: “Why not? He’s locked out and needs the key!”

Me: “Because a key is a three-dimensional object, not a document.”

(Customer stares at me.)

Me: “Ma’am, is your fax machine in your house?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “How will your son get into the house to get the key from the fax machine if he is locked out?”

Customer: “D*** it! You’re right! Well, thanks for your time!”

Me: “I do what I can.”

The Pope Might Have Something To Say About That

, , , , , | Right | April 2, 2008

Customer: “Sir, it is a sin to sell these Halloween decorations.”

Me: “How else could folks get them?”

Customer: “That’s not the point. Halloween is for devil worshippers.”

Me: “No, it’s a Christian holiday, ushering in All Saints’ Day.”

Customer: “No, that’s Catholic. I’m a Christian.”


This story is part of our Devilish Halloween roundup!

Read the next Devilish Halloween roundup story!

Read the Devilish Halloween roundup!

I Like My Italians Color-Coded, Too

, , , | Right | April 2, 2008

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today, ma’am?”

Lady: “Hi, yes. I’d like to get a bottle of wine for my neighbor.”

Me: “All right, what kind?”

Lady: “Kind?”

Me: “Yes, red or white?”

Lady: “Oh, there are two kinds?”

Me: “Well, there are more than two, but those are general groups.”

Lady: “Oh, well, he’s Italian… I think… so we’ll go with Italian.”

Me: “All right, a red or a white Italian?”

Lady: “Well, he’s kind of tan, but I guess white.”

Me: “Um… not your neighbor. The wine, ma’am?”

Lady: “Oh… the Italian wines have groups, too? I guess one of each…”

(This was just the beginning, as I had to describe the fact that there are numerous red and white wine varieties. You can imagine how that went.)


Did you find this story on our Wine Roundup?

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go back to the roundup!