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Hopefully, She’s Not Also Topless

, , , , , | Right | April 7, 2008

(Working in tech support, I talk to some pretty dumb people every day. This was a particular highlight of the week.)

Me: “Go ahead and check the icons in the bottom right-hand corner of your screen for me.”

Customer: “I have no bottom right.”

Me: “Ma’am, everything has a bottom right.”

Kids Say The Truthiest Things

, , , , , | Right | April 6, 2008

(Santa was visiting our store, and every kid got a small bag of candy. Then this happened…)

Santa: “Here you go, little boy!”

Kid: “Thank you, Santa!”

Mom: “Aren’t you forgetting anything?”

Kid: “What, mommy?”

Mom: “Ask Santa for another bag for your brother like I told you.” *looks at Santa* “He’s sick at home and couldn’t come.”

Santa: “No problem!” *reaches for another bag*

Kid: “But mommy, I don’t have a brother!”

Mom: “…”

Santa: *puts bag back*


This story is part of the Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup!

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The Land Of Maple Leafed Savages

, , , , | Right | April 5, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling technical support. My name is [My Name], how can I help you?

Customer: *distinct southern accent* “Where am I calling?”

Me: “[Company] technical support. Are you having trouble with your internet, sir?”

Customer: “I know that. I mean, what part of the world?”

Me: “I’m in Canada, sir. Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “Canada?! You have internet up in Canada?”

Me: “Nope… just got radio, in fact, I had to drive my dog sled into work. There was a horrible accident and I lost two dogs. It’s been a rough day.”

Customer: “Oh… well, I want technical support from a country who actually has it.” *click*

Supervisor: *monitoring calls* “You can’t be serious.”


This story is part of our Canada Day roundup!

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Montgomery Scott’s Early Days At The Copy Shop

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2008

Customer: “My son is locked out of the house and I need to send him the key!”

Me: “We can overnight the key and have it to him by 10:30 am tomorrow morning. Shall we send the key to the neighbor’s house?”

Customer: “No, he needs it right now! Why can’t I just fax it?”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t fax a key.”

Customer: “Why not? He’s locked out and needs the key!”

Me: “Because a key is a three-dimensional object, not a document.”

(Customer stares at me.)

Me: “Ma’am, is your fax machine in your house?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “How will your son get into the house to get the key from the fax machine if he is locked out?”

Customer: “D*** it! You’re right! Well, thanks for your time!”

Me: “I do what I can.”

The Pope Might Have Something To Say About That

, , , , , | Right | April 2, 2008

Customer: “Sir, it is a sin to sell these Halloween decorations.”

Me: “How else could folks get them?”

Customer: “That’s not the point. Halloween is for devil worshippers.”

Me: “No, it’s a Christian holiday, ushering in All Saints’ Day.”

Customer: “No, that’s Catholic. I’m a Christian.”


This story is part of our Devilish Halloween roundup!

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