Revisiting Past Glory

, , , , | Right | October 28, 2020

I conduct market research surveys. Basically, we ask mall customers to watch movie commercials and give their opinions. To avoid conflicts of interest, we cannot interview anyone who works for the film industry.

Me: “Do you or anyone in your family work for the movies?”

Guy: “I don’t work for the movies. I star in them.”

Me: “Really? What were you in?”

Guy: “I was in Glory.”

Me: “What a great movie. Who did you play?”

Guy: “There’s a scene at the end where there’s a bunch of soldiers standing at the top of a fort. The camera zooms in on a fat soldier. I’m standing next to him.”

In other words, he was an extra.

Me: “Okay, well, [Coworker] is going to show you a commercial now.”

I go and find my boss.

Me: “I’ll give you ten bucks if you go up to that guy in the sunglasses and say, ‘Didn’t I see you in Glory?’”

She wouldn’t do it.

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Dealing With These Monsters Requires A Sprite Touch

, , , , , , | Right | October 27, 2020

I am a shift manager. A customer pulls up to the speaker in the drive-thru and gives my crew member a hard time about her coupon. This coupon is two combo meals for $8.99 (plus tax). She also wants to add two 20oz drinks, which are another $1.79 each.

The customer is yelling and complaining about the price. My crew member (in tears!) comes to me and asks me to deal with her. It’s the middle of the lunch rush and I am protective of my crew members – don’t make them cry! I approach the window.

Me: “I’m the manager; what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Why is it almost $13! The coupon is for 8.99 and I know extra drinks ain’t cost that much!”

Me: “There is a 6% sales tax on everything. The coupon itself even says so. Also, it looks like you requested to add cheese, which is an additional 50 cents per sandwich, and wanted to go heavy on all the toppings on one, which is an additional 60 cents. Also, those additional drinks added around $3.50 to your bill as well. That’s why it’s not $8.99.”

Customer: “Okay, fine, take off one of the drinks.”

Me: “Okay, so your total is now [$12-ish].”

Customer: “Seriously? Okay, fine, take off the other one too.”

Me: “Alright, so your total is now [$11-ish].”

Customer: “It’s $8.99.”

Me: “There’s still a tax, ma’am. Also, the extra cheese and toppings you wanted are adding an additional $2 to your bill.”

Customer: “Fine!”

She takes forever to dig up change and the line is growing behind her. I hand her food over and the drinks that came with her coupon bundle.

Me: “Have a good day.”

Customer: “Where’s my other sprite?”

Me: “You took it off remember? The coupon came with two drinks so you have your two sprites.”


I print out another receipt, showing her that she is wrong.

Me: “You didn’t pay for it.”

Customer: “GIVE ME MY SPRITE!”

Me: “I can’t do that for you unless you pay for it.”

Customer: “GIVE ME MY SPRITE!”

Me: “You already got your two drinks that came with the coupon. You didn’t pay for additional drinks, remember?”


We locked eyes and stared into each other’s souls for what felt like an eternity. Cars behind her are honking. Suddenly, I have an idea.

Me: “Okay one second.”

I pour a carbonated water, which looks identical to sprite.


I slam the window shut and she drives off.

I know it’s petty, and normally I wouldn’t have done something like this but I promise you she deserved it.

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She Who Shall Not Be Named

, , , , | Right | October 26, 2020

I am working at a coffee shop when a middle-aged woman orders a rather simple drink. She steps aside to let the next customer, also a middle-aged woman, give her order.

Customer #2: “Hi, can I have [same as Customer #1]?”

Me: “Sure, can I have your name, please?”

[Customer #2] provides her name. I write the name down on an empty cup. When the drinks are ready, I have them out behind the plastic barrier. I hand the two women their drinks separately. The second woman looks at the drink in her hands and frowns.

Customer #2: “Excuse me, but that’s incredibly rude of you!”

Me: *Confused* “Sorry?”

Customer #2: “You d*** well should be! I haven’t been snappy, or rude, or anything but polite to you and you call me this?

She almost slams the cup against the plastic, spilling some of the drink. I immediately see the problem and I start to explain.

Me: “I’m sorry if you see it that way, but—”

Customer #2: “You should be sorry! There is no excuse for you to even suggest being so stereotypical just because I happen to be a white, middle-aged woman!”

[Customer #1] is clocking on to what the woman is saying.

Customer #1: “That was my drink.”

Customer #2: “Your drink?”

Customer #1: “Yes. My name’s Karen.”

Note that she pronounces the name “Car-run’ in the Scandinavian way rather than the English “Ceh-ren.”

Customer #2: *Smugly* “No, sweetie. It’s ‘Ceh-ren’ and this b**** was insulting me. There’s no need to make excuses.” *To me* “I want to speak to your manager!”

Customer #1: “For heaven’s sake, I’ll pay for your stupid drink!”

She slams a fiver onto the counter, which more than covers the cost of the first customer’s drink.

Customer #2: *To [Customer #1], rather crossly* Thanks.”

Facing me, she pointed the tips of her fingers to her eyes and then back at me, scowling at me as she left.

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Aw, They’re Just Gals Being Pals

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | October 23, 2020

I’m waiting in line at the airport and I strike up a conversation with a woman in front of me. Another woman walks up who is obviously travelling with the first woman.

I step out of the way to let them stand together.

Me: “Oh, sorry about that. I didn’t mean to separate you from your…?”

The guy behind me lets out a disgusted sigh.

Guy: “Friend. They’re friends! My God, why do people have to be so stupidly PC all the time?! Now we have to go around assuming that any two people might be gay instead of just normal friends!”

Woman #1: “I mean, we are best friends.”

The guy gives me a smug look.

Woman #1: “That’s why we got married.”

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Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 15

, , , , , , | Right | October 23, 2020

We are about to move house, so we are selling anything we don’t want to take with us. There are a lot of children’s things that our kids have outgrown and are pretty bulky, so we want to get rid of them quickly.

Everything is clean, in good condition, and really cheap, so some items go within the hour. Others have lots of interest but just need transport arranged, etc.

One woman messages me on a few items.

Customer: “Are they available?”

Me: “Yes, they are!”

I don’t hear from her again. I get rid of pretty much everything that day, and after a few days, the items nobody wants go to the charity shop.

A whole week later, the customer from before contacts me again.

Customer: “I will collect them tomorrow and will only pay what you’re asking if they are in excellent condition.”

Me: “Well, there has been a lot of interest and nearly everything has gone. But as it happens, someone let me down on the last item and I am available tomorrow.”

Again, I hear nothing back until later that night, and it’s a one-word reply.

Customer: “Okay.”

I’m not too thrilled with her demanding attitude. At this point, she doesn’t know where I live nor have I actually agreed to sell to her, so I don’t feel like chasing her. Around lunchtime the next day, I get a message.

Customer: “I’m free now; I can collect [item].”

Me: “That’s fine. My address is [address]. How long do you think you will be? I am working from home, so I’m pretty busy.”

I get nothing back. An hour later, I see a car pull up; a woman in her early forties with nice clothes, designer handbag, etc., gets out. She strides up to the door and bangs very hard, ignoring the doorbell.

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “I’m here for the baby bouncer.”

Me: “Yes, I—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Is it clean? It should be clean if you are selling it.”

As I’m bringing it to the door:

Me: “Yes, it’s clean and disinfected. The lights, sounds, and movement all work fine. No damage or marks. It’s pretty much brand new and I have the box and receipts.”

She looks almost disappointed.

Customer: “Well, I, err… I can only pay you £20.”

Me: “It was £160 new; the advert was £30, no offers.”

Customer: *Smirking* “I will leave it, then.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Bye, thanks for coming!”

With that, I closed the door on her. She stood at the door motionless for a while before getting back in her car, looking shocked that her ploy didn’t work. 

I ended up taking the bouncer with us after we moved — couldn’t donate it with a fire tag — and sold it to a very grateful new mum near the new house.

About that time, we ended up selling a load of furniture after we moved. That customer commented on most of them, as well, even telling other commenters that they were sold when they weren’t.

I blocked her, but not before letting her know that I don’t sell to time wasters.

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 14
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 13
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 12
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 11
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 10

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