I am the bad customer in this story. My wife, a friend, and I were visiting the August 10th market (Mercado) in Cuenca Ecuador. Someone suggested that we try the yucca tortillas (which are more like what an American would call a pancake), made with yucca, cheese, and egg.

I ordered them with my extremely limited Spanish and then went to sit down while the server reheated them. This area of the Mercado was laid out like a food court, with stalls along the outside and tables along the inside.

The tortillas were very tasty. We finished them up, bused our dishes (which apparently is unusual), and wandered on down to see what else we could try.

About thirty seconds later, I felt somebody grabbing the sleeve of my jacket. I turned to see that it was our server, saying something to me in extremely rapid Spanish. I pretty much only caught “tortilla” and said that yes, we had the tortillas. Another torrent of Spanish ensued, and a customer sitting nearby said:

Customer: “You no pay.”

Fortunately, there were two Spanish phrases that I had learned specifically for situations like this.

Me: “Oh, lo siento. Yo soy idiota.” *Oh, I am sorry. I am an idiot.*

The grand total was less than three dollars, so I gave him three dollars and tried to tell him to keep the change, which just confused him. He chased after us again to give me my change.

The worst manager I ever had was a logistics manager back in Ecuador in 2012. I was the logistics supervisor. He got mad when I clocked out at 5:00 after I did my work and got surprised when I told him I had a life. He expected me to do three people’s worth of work.

He once insulted me at lunchtime, and I told him it was the only time I had to relax and he should never dare to insult me. (He never did it again.)

When I got married, he got angry because I dared to get married at a time when the company was busy.

He was ready to make me feel like crap if I made a mistake after the overwhelming amount of work. I could not concentrate on one task I had to do carefully, and although I tried my best, since I was multitasking, sometimes I did that task wrong. I was getting calls from everywhere — salespeople, warehouse, drivers, company director, [Manager], etc. — plus checking emails, organizing truck routes, processing the drivers’ allowances, and dealing with chemical documentation… and it all had to be done before 10:00 am every day.

Outsourced truckers were always asking to give them business, and amidst all the chaos, I needed to find time to negotiate, which I’ve never been good at. Also, sometimes people came in person to talk to me!

I lasted almost a year in that hellish job. I was about to quit, but [Manager] fired me first, which was better as the severance package was more money.

After that, all I’ve gotten is amazing, human bosses!

(The internet isn’t working in the building. My coworker is trying to fix the problem when I receive this call.)

Secretary: “The internet isn’t working!”

Me: “We know. We are trying to fix the problem right now.”

Secretary: “Can you tell me when it is going to work again?”

Me: “Sorry, but no, we are not sure where is the source of the problem. However, we are doing everything we can to solve the problem as soon as possible.”

Secretary: “But tell me when it’s going to work again.”

Me: “I don’t know. It can’t be long.”

Secretary: “I need to know when the internet is going to be working. Why don’t you tell me?”

Me: “I can’t tell you because if the problem isn’t solved, you are going to call us again asking why it is still not working. Please be patient.”

Secretary: “Tell me when the internet is going to work again!”

Me: “…The internet is coming back in five minutes.”

Secretary: “Really?”

Me: “No. I don’t know when the service will be back.”

Secretary: “Why you didn’t tell me that from the beginning?!”