Unfiltered Story #124631

, , , | Unfiltered | October 31, 2018

(I was working in the aquatics section of a pet store well known in the Hamptons for stocking backyard ponds for mansions and estates. This day a 40-something, well dressed woman came in with her daughter who was maybe 12)

Lady: “Excuse me, could I have some of these bigger koi for my pond?”
Me: “Of course. How many would you need?”
Lady: I’d say a dozen or so. And some of these pretty ones over here.” She points at our salt water tank with Lion Fish in it.
Me: “The koi would be fine, but Ma’am those fish are salt water. They would die the moment you put them in the pond.”
Lady: “Well can’t I just add a bunch of salt to the pond?”
Me: “…..I… guess you could if you had the system for it, but then all your koi would die.”
Lady: “Why is that?”
Me: “Because these are fresh water fish. You cant have both in the same pond.”
Lady: “Oh.” She drops it and continues browsing the pond section. “OH! What are these little funny things?”
I see she’s pointing at the bull frog tadpoles.
Me: “Those are tadpoles, Ma’am.”
Lady: “What are tadpoles?”
Me: “They’re baby frogs.”
Lady: “Then where are their legs?”

The woman’s daughter shoots me a look from behind her mother seeming to say “God help me! I deal with this woman 24/7!”

Your Humor Falls Short

, , , , | Working | September 28, 2017

(I am with my friend as she drops off her wedding ring to be resized. I am a very short person.)

Friend: “I’m kicking myself for not getting the ring a size larger. It never occurred to me that it would get this tight so fast!”

Jeweler: “It’s a sad truth that as everyone gets older, they also get bigger.” *he looks over at me* “Except you.”