Treating You Like Dogs

, , , , | Right | February 8, 2019

(I work at an Alaska-only pet store in a relatively small town; however, since we’re right next to Anchorage, we get a lot of customer flow. Our customers are, for the most part, relatively chill, but some can be quite demanding for no real reason. On this particular day I’m stocking dog food and not really willing to deal with nonsense.)

Me: *stops stocking to acknowledge a customer who happens to be on her phone* “Hello…”

Customer: *cuts me off* “Do you work here?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: *phone in one hand, dog leash in the other, kicks a bag of dog food* “I want this dog food.”

Me: “Okay, and you can’t get it because you’re on the phone?”

(Keep in mind I have no problem getting dog food for people who have undergone surgery or are just too old or weak to handle it. We do it every day as a courtesy. However, we are not required to lug food around for fully-capable people.)

Customer: *looks at me and laughs like she can’t believe I asked such a question* “Well, no. I mean, yes, but I’m telling you to.”

Me: *raises my eyebrow* “Righhhht.” *starts to grab food*

(At that point, the customer realized I was not really happy about stopping what I was doing just because she was lazy, so she told me to forget it and asked for my name and walked away. Of course, she went to complain, and when my team lead came to me, apparently I had “refused” to get her the food and said, “You have two hands; get it yourself.” She even said, “I’ve worked retail before, and that’s just not something you do.” I also learned that she smelled like alcohol that I couldn’t smell due to a sickness I’m getting over. To be honest, if she had at least said, “please,” then I probably would’ve gotten it, but I guess that was too much for her to do.)

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Jokes So Bad It Leaves You Light-Headed

, , , , , | Romantic | July 9, 2017

(My husband is untraditional in his romantic gestures and it suits our whimsical natures quite well. One of the sweetest sentiments he has ever written to me is, “Every day… you surprise and delight me. Every. Single. Day.” One Saturday, we are both in moods and stressed and grumpy and sniping at each other all day. This evening, he sits heavily down on a dining room chair and sighs. I go over and sit on his lap and put my arms around him. We sit there hugging for a while and he finally says:)

Husband: “I remember this. I like this.”

Me: *in a dismayed tone* “I did not do anything to delight you today!”

(Before he can respond, I reach around him and turn off the dining room light.)

Me: “There, now you are de-lighted!”

(We ended up in a tangle on the floor because he was laughing so hard he fell off the chair.)

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