Or… You Could Just Not Be An A**hole?

, , , , | Right | May 20, 2020

I sell items online. I can’t give a fixed price since I do retail and wholesale. I created a WhatsApp group so that my customers can see all my items at once instead of sending pics individually. One of my customers asks me on the group, “How much is this?” A BRILLIANT customer pops up out of nowhere and starts giving him the wrong prices.

Me: “Kindly don’t chat in the group so we don’t annoy other customers. Please text me in private.”

The brilliant customer keeps on giving the wrong prices for my items. I text him in private.

Me: “Kindly be polite.”

Brilliant Customer: “It’s a stupid way to sell. Put a price on each item to fix the price so no one will do what I did to you.”

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Pretty Rich Coming From The City That Has An Atlantis

, , , | Right | April 10, 2020

(I work for a huge hotel company that has hotels around the world; in particular, we have a few beside the beach. However, since I started this job and have been answering the phone for reservations I have gotten this question every week.)

Guest: “Is [Hotel] Beach Hotel beside the beach?”

(Please note that the hotel could only be closer to the beach if it was in the ocean and this is evident through the website and the name.)

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The Universal Translator Can’t Translate Entitlement

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2020

(I work at the front desk of a luxury business hotel and I speak five languages. I also work with people from over seventy different countries, most of whom speak at least two languages, as well, so we pretty much cover every main language in the world. Still, people seem to think we are robots.)

Me: “Welcome to [Hotel]; how may I assist you?”

Guest: *speaking very fast in a language I don’t recognize*

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t understand you. What language is this, so I can maybe find a colleague who is able to assist you or translate for me?”

Guest: *angrily speaking in a language I don’t understand*

Me: “Okay, may I see your passport, so I can find someone who speaks your language?” *trying to mime “passport”*

Guest: *hands me his passport*

(I have a colleague from this country at the front desk and she is standing on the other end of our desk. Why did he not go to her? I don’t know. I call her over and they talk, she checks him in, and everything is fine.)

Colleague: *after the guest is gone* “He was complaining that you didn’t speak his language even though he asked you at the beginning.”

Me: “What do you mean? I didn’t understand a word he was saying.”

Colleague: “No, he said he ordered you to speak [Language] but you kept speaking English and now he’s disappointed.”

Me: “I’m… human and I don’t think I work that way.”

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The Ugliest Thing In This Office Isn’t The Ring…  

, , , | Working | October 6, 2019

(When my husband and I got married a couple of years ago, we did not have a lot of money, but I secretly saved up for a couple of months and bought our wedding rings as a surprise. They were custom made to fit his style and mine, and although they were not extremely expensive, they were a little over our budget. Now, I am sitting in my office, very pregnant, and a new coworker comes in.)

Coworker: “Who is the father of your baby?”

Me: “Um… my husband.”

Coworker: “Oh, you are married? So, why don’t you wear a wedding ring?”

Me: “I do.” *lifts my hand with my ring on it*

Coworker: “Where is your engagement ring?”

Me: “I don’t wear it at the moment.”

(I had to take it off a couple of weeks into the pregnancy because my fingers got a little swollen and I didn’t want to end up having to cut it off.)

Coworker: *looks at my ring* “I don’t like your ring; it’s very ugly.” *walks away*

(I nearly started crying. How he doesn’t understand why nobody likes him is beyond me.)

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They Got You Covered From A To Zulu

, , , , , , , | Friendly | May 6, 2019

(My husband and I are on holiday. We’re considered an uncommon interracial couple. We’re both South African, but I’m ethnically Pakistani and he’s a Zulu man. We’re on holiday in Dubai and we’re at a theme park known for its fast rides. It’s a bit of a busy day so we’re waiting in line. There have been a lot of queue jumpers today and we’re getting fed up. Just behind us are two Indian girls. As the line moves, we notice the girls are slowly inching closer and closer into our personal space, to the point where they’re actually moving around us and trying to get ahead in the queue. This pisses me off since I hate line jumpers, but I’m a bit of a pushover so I don’t confront them. I just give them a dirty look. Soon, the girls start speaking in Hindi, not realising that I’m Pakistani and fluent in Urdu — our language — which is very similar to Hindi.)

Girl #1: “What are they doing?”

Girl #2: “I don’t know. Look at that girl looking at us.”

Girl #1: “She looks crazy. Is she with the black guy?”

Girl #2: “Looks like it. Weird.”

(They say a few more sentences which I don’t catch because my glare is getting more intense, and I finally decide to speak up. I speak to them in Urdu.)

Me: “Hey, you girls are being incredibly rude. We’re all waiting in this line and I don’t know what you think of yourselves that you can cut past us.”

(Both girls look shocked and start to make excuses.)

Girl #2: “We’re not trying to cut in line, but fine, you go ahead of us.”

(The line moved forward a few steps and they got a little behind us. Coincidentally, the theme park that we were at employs a lot of South Africans and we’d been greeting our fellow countrymen the whole day, whenever we heard the accents. As we neared the front of the queue, the girls were starting their old tricks again and they’d managed to move a little ahead of us. One of the men running the ride turned out to be Zulu and my husband spoke to him in Zulu quite enthusiastically. The man asked how things were going and my husband replied that things were pretty good, except for the queue jumpers. The girls’ faces blanched and they started to look scared, even though neither of them could understand Zulu — the words “queue jumpers” were said in English. My husband isn’t the type to be petty, but being South African had been a huge advantage to us since the staff were usually nicer and more accommodating for us. Anyway, when they needed two people to fill the next ride, those girls were purposefully ignored by the attendant and we went in first. Even though it was something small, karma felt good.)

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