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Maybe They Just Run Cold. Or Maybe You Should Mind Your Business.

, , , , , | Friendly | June 23, 2022

I’m sitting in Dubai airport waiting for my flight to begin boarding. It’s early morning and probably around 21°C outside, but I know it’ll get hotter. It’s pleasantly warm in the terminal. I’m carrying a heavy winter coat. A man comes along, sees my coat, and starts berating me for having it.

Man: “Why would you even have that coat? Do you know how warm it is outside? How stupid are you that you brought a winter coat to Dubai?”

Me: “I’m going to Amsterdam. I’ll need it there.”

He just stared at me and walked off.

Seriously, I’m in an airport, clearly going somewhere else, and it’s winter in the Northern hemisphere. Obviously, the coat would be necessary at some point in my travels.

Uh… At Least They Didn’t Phone It In?

, , , | Legal | April 26, 2022

I was changing planes in Dubai on my way home when I suddenly couldn’t find my phone. Realising I’d either dropped it or that it had gotten stolen, I panicked. I had all the pictures from my trip on it, and they would now be gone.

Since I had to wait the whole night before boarding, I had some time to at least try to solve it, so I went to the information desk, asking if they could look in a lost and found box or something. They told me to talk to the police desk at the airport.

Being in another country, talking to the police wasn’t really on my wishlist; however, I wanted my phone, so I went there. There was a lot of questioning from the policemen.

At this point, my travelling companions were sleeping, and I didn’t want to disturb them. so I let them rest. Some hours went by, the night became early morning, and I couldn’t really sleep. 

As a group of stern-looking policemen came up to me, my friends woke up and took notice. I was questioned about the phone, thoroughly; they wanted me to describe the cracks in the screen, the background photo, where I last saw it, and everything. One of them started searching through my bag to see if I had a phone. It was quite intense, and I felt like I was cornered as they stood in a half-circle around the chair I was sitting in.

After a while, I noticed that the questions seemed to be asked by someone who had seen the phone.

Me: “Have you found it?”

Policeman: “Just answer the questions.”

Me: “Look, if you’ve found a phone of that color and model, and it is unlocked by a pattern, I can just show that I can unlock it to prove it is mine.”

They stood quiet for a while, and then they brought out my phone! I took it and was just about to unlock it when they started looking at my screen. I leaned back to show I was not sharing my pattern. It took me a second, and then I showed them the unlocked phone.

Policeman: “All right. You should be careful.”

The way he said it, it sounded more like a threat than advice, but maybe I felt that way because I was surrounded and sleep-deprived. They left, however, and since they’d surrounded me, my friends had no idea what had just happened.

Friend #1: “What was that about?”

Me: “Oh, I lost my phone, so I went to the information desk, who sent me to the police, and they found it! They just wanted to make sure it was really mine, I guess.”

Friend #1: “You did all that while we slept?! Have you slept at all?”

Friend #2: “You lost your phone?!”

Me: “I got it back, see? Everything is fine. I’ll sleep on the plane.”

I believe my friends were in shock for a while, and while it might not sound like a big deal, those policemen were really scary! But hey, my phone was back and I was happy.

Or… You Could Just Not Be An A**hole?

, , , , | Right | May 20, 2020

I sell items online. I can’t give a fixed price since I do retail and wholesale. I created a WhatsApp group so that my customers can see all my items at once instead of sending pics individually. One of my customers asks me on the group, “How much is this?” A BRILLIANT customer pops up out of nowhere and starts giving him the wrong prices.

Me: “Kindly don’t chat in the group so we don’t annoy other customers. Please text me in private.”

The brilliant customer keeps on giving the wrong prices for my items. I text him in private.

Me: “Kindly be polite.”

Brilliant Customer: “It’s a stupid way to sell. Put a price on each item to fix the price so no one will do what I did to you.”

Pretty Rich Coming From The City That Has An Atlantis

, , , | Right | April 10, 2020

(I work for a huge hotel company that has hotels around the world; in particular, we have a few beside the beach. However, since I started this job and have been answering the phone for reservations I have gotten this question every week.)

Guest: “Is [Hotel] Beach Hotel beside the beach?”

(Please note that the hotel could only be closer to the beach if it was in the ocean and this is evident through the website and the name.)

The Universal Translator Can’t Translate Entitlement

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2020

(I work at the front desk of a luxury business hotel and I speak five languages. I also work with people from over seventy different countries, most of whom speak at least two languages, as well, so we pretty much cover every main language in the world. Still, people seem to think we are robots.)

Me: “Welcome to [Hotel]; how may I assist you?”

Guest: *speaking very fast in a language I don’t recognize*

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t understand you. What language is this, so I can maybe find a colleague who is able to assist you or translate for me?”

Guest: *angrily speaking in a language I don’t understand*

Me: “Okay, may I see your passport, so I can find someone who speaks your language?” *trying to mime “passport”*

Guest: *hands me his passport*

(I have a colleague from this country at the front desk and she is standing on the other end of our desk. Why did he not go to her? I don’t know. I call her over and they talk, she checks him in, and everything is fine.)

Colleague: *after the guest is gone* “He was complaining that you didn’t speak his language even though he asked you at the beginning.”

Me: “What do you mean? I didn’t understand a word he was saying.”

Colleague: “No, he said he ordered you to speak [Language] but you kept speaking English and now he’s disappointed.”

Me: “I’m… human and I don’t think I work that way.”