Blood-Stained Clothes

, , , , | Right | April 14, 2018

(The dry cleaner where I work is a drop off/pick up store; the plant is 20 miles away. The last delivery is supposed to be at 5:00 pm, but is going to be late as there was a severe car crash.)

Customer: “My name is [Customer].”

(I look up his name and see his clothes are among the ones late.)

Me: “Sir, I am sorry, but the truck is late because of a major car accident. He should be here in about thirty minutes.”

(He must have had a really bad day, because he launches into a tirade.)

Customer: “I want my clothes now!!”

Me: “I am sorry, but this situation is out of my control.”

Customer:No excuses! I have to be on a plane in one hour and must have them!”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that. I do hope there were no casualties involved in that car wreck that is preventing you from picking your clothes.”

(He left.)

How To Be A Stain In The Neck

, , , , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(I always go to one particular local dry cleaner, because it’s run by an older lady with an amazing personality, and I often get into hilarious conversations with her when I drop off clothes. This is a story she relates to me about some of her other customers.)

Customer: *over the phone* “Yes, hello. How do I get this stain out of my shirt?”

Cleaner: “Well, if you bring the shirt in, I would be happy to clean it for you.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t need you bring it in; it’s just the one stain, so you can just tell me how to clean it.”

Cleaner: *thinking, “that’s not how a dry cleaner works”* “Okay, I’ll try… What kind of fabric is the shirt?”

Customer: *impatient sigh* “It’s my favorite dress shirt!”

Cleaner: “Uh, okay… What kind of stain is it?”

Customer: “You’re supposed to be the expert, here! Why can’t you tell me anything?!”

Cleaner: “I just need to know—”

Customer: “No! I’m the one asking the questions, here! What is your problem?!”

Cleaner: “The problem is that I just don’t know how you expect me to see your shirt down the phone. Good luck with your stain!”

Looks Like A Turd Warmed Up

, , , , , | Working | November 15, 2017

(My boyfriend is dropping something off at our mutual friend’s workplace, a cleaners. He also needs to use the restroom, way in the back of the store.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, [Friend], why is there the middle seat of a minivan back here?”

Friend: “Oh, that’s our nap couch.”

Boyfriend: “Um, okay.”

Friend: “Yeah, there’s a bunch of weird stuff in here.”

Boyfriend: “WHY IS THERE A MICROWAVE IN THE BATHROOM?”

Friend: “That would be the other weird stuff.”

Your Attempts At A Refund Are Not Silky Smooth

, , , , , | Right | November 7, 2017

Customer: “Do you clean coats?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Customer: “How much is it?”

Me: “It depends, miss. Some coats are longer, and the fabric is thicker; those will need more dry-cleaning chemical to soak in and more time to dry, and will therefore cost more.”

Customer: “Okay, so, how much for a long coat?”

Me: “You’ll have to show me the item, because I can’t estimate the cost until I’ve seen it. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Here’s my stuff.”

Me: “These coats are wool and are as long as a person. They will be $18.95 each. That blouse is white silk, but the problem is that there are yellow stains on it and we cannot guarantee it will be cleaned fully or even at all, due to the apparent age of the stain. Would you like to clean it still?”

Customer: “Yeah, just try it.”

Me: “Okay.” *processes the ticket order for the customer*

Customer: “I also want to pay for it now.”

Me: “Okay. The total for two coats and that blouse is $39.85.”

(The customer pays and leaves. One week later:)

Customer: “Okay, I’m here to pick up my stuff.”

Me: “I remember your name. Here it is.”

(The customer picks up and leaves. Two hours later:)

Customer: *brings in blouse* “Uh, this isn’t cleaned.”

Me: “I did mention to you that we would try, but we couldn’t promise or guarantee you that it would be cleaned fully. It spread out, but it’s not noticeable to the naked eye unless people look at it carefully. You said you still want to dry-clean it despite my protests.”

Customer: “I understand, but I believe that it is in good business practice to give me back a portion of the money I paid, since it wasn’t cleaned properly.”

Me: “We could not complete the cleaning; our chemicals would’ve been too harsh if we kept trying to get the stains out and would have disintegrated the silk fabric, and then it would have been ruined for good. We will not refund you all of your money for that item, but some, okay?”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Here is your money.”

(I refund $3.50 out of $6.95 for cleaning said blouse.)

Customer: *looks down in shock* “When I said, ‘portion,’ I meant this amount.” *points at $18.95*

Me: “That was for the coat, not the blouse. Since that was cleaned properly and stains from that coat were gone, we will not refund you for that.”

Customer: “I still believe it is good business practice that you refund me a portion of the payment.”

Me: “You mean half of the bill, right?”

Customer: “Well…”

Me: “We will not, and it’s up to you to choose whether accept the $3.50 or not.”

Customer: “Fine. I’ll just never come back here again, then.”

(I said nothing more, and the customer left when they realized they weren’t getting anything else.)

Unfiltered Story #98694

, , , | Unfiltered | October 24, 2017

(When you bring clothes to a dry cleaner, the order is assigned a number. All clothes are tagged with that number so they can be reassembled, and the number is written on a tag pinned to the bag. A man comes in to pick up his suit, I enter the tag number, and tell him the total.)

Me: “Okay, so that is forty-four ninety-OOOHH NO IT’S NOT it’s sixteen sixty-two!”

Customer: *Eyes bug out at first, then laughs when I correct myself* “I was gonna say, that’s way too much for a suit!”

(I had accidentally started reading the claim cheque number instead of the actual price. Luckily that was the only time I made that mistake, and the customer in question thought it was rather funny.)

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