This Tech Feliway From Her Studies

, , , , | Healthy | October 1, 2020

Feliway is a product that sends out cat pheromones. It’s used for calming them down, helping them adjust to change, or preventing urinating and defecating anywhere except the litter box. 

Me: “Hi, do you sell Feliway here?”

Vet Tech: “No, I don’t believe in drugs.”

Me: “Feliway isn’t a drug; it’s cat pheromones.”

Vet Tech: “What are pheromones?”

Me: “…”

Luckily, another vet tech understood what I wanted and got it for me. I heard her trying to explain cat pheromones to the other tech, who had a blank look on her face.

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Higher Than His Intelligence Level, That’s For Sure

, , , , | Right | September 24, 2020

I work at an on-campus smoothie shop throughout college and have had many interesting and funny interactions with other students during my time here. This one has always stuck out to me.

Two guys approach my register, and one of them has incredibly red eyes and looks pretty, well, “baked.”

Me: “Hi! What can I get you guys?”

Guy #1: “Yeah… Uh, yeah. Can I get—um… I want strawberry and banana. What comes in that?”

Me: “Our strawberry banana smoothie is called [Smoothie #1]. It has strawberries and bananas and it also comes with milk, sugar, and van—”

Guy #1: “Yeah, it’s good, it’s good, it’s good. What about [Smoothie #2]?”

Me: “That one is mostly banana and ice cream. It’s very good! It’s thick like a milkshake, though.”

Guy #1: “So, it’s a milkshake?”

Me: “Well, it’s a smoothie. It’s just a bit thick.”

Guy #1: “It’s a milkshake?”

Me: “It’s a banana smoothie with some ice cream.”

Guy #1: “Okay. It’s a milkshake?”

I’m starting to realize we could be here all day.

Me: “Yeah, kind of.”

Guy #1: “I’ll get that. Does it— Um. Will it taste like a smoothie?”

Guy #2: *Totally embarrassed* “Dude, the store is called Smoothie [Shop]. They serve smoothies; they’re all gonna taste like smoothies! Please just pick something!”

I thought the whole interaction was hilarious. It was also not the last time we got some really high students in our store.

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Thinking Too Highly Of Those Eye Drops

, , , , | Right | September 14, 2020

I am a cashier at a large chain pharmacy. A customer comes up to my register with a bag of chips, a Mountain Dew, and a box of eye drops, specifically eye-whitening eye drops. He is very clearly stoned.

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeeaaaahhhh…”

I finish the transaction and then turn to a coworker.

Me: “I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling, buying those eye drops.”

Coworker: “Yeah, his eyes aren’t the only giveaway!”

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Weird Times, Man… Weird Times…

, , , , , | Working | July 17, 2020

My boyfriend works as a delivery driver for a third-party company for some extra money. He’s out for his shift and he sends me a text. This happens during the quarantine, so all restaurants that are open are takeout or delivery only.

Boyfriend: “OMG, I just got an order for [Restaurant] and went in and it smells like weed in here.”

Me: “OMG, lol.”

Boyfriend: “Like, badly.”

Me: “I guess they’re feeling the stress.”

Most places are operating with only two or three employees at a time.

Boyfriend: “Probably, but not like they’re in any rush to get orders out ever.”

A few minutes go by and he messages me again.

Boyfriend: “There’s a lady in here and she’s like sleeping. Must be high af. Like, a worker.”

Me: “Wow.”

He came home later and told me that it was the hostess who was bringing orders out from the kitchen. She apparently fell asleep standing up at her podium for about five minutes before the phone rang and startled her awake. I’m wondering if because it’s a barbecue place, they thought the pit smoke would somehow cover up the weed smell? Either way, not the best idea.

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He Wants To Look High In The Sky

, , , , , , | Right | June 9, 2020

I work for a large electronics store, generally helping people with placing or looking up their web orders. One night, just as I’m finishing my training, a guy calls in, clearly high and super giggly.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; how may I help you?”

High Guy: “Do you sell telescopes?”

Me: “Umm, I can look for you… Yes, we do!”

High Guy: “What kind? What is the brand name?”

Me: “[Brand] only, but we have about a dozen different ones!”

High Guy: “How much are they?”

I run through a few prices.

High Guy: “So, how far into space can they see? Like, can I see the stars up close?”

Me: “I’m not too sure. You might want to talk to talk to our electronics department to find that out.”

High Guy: “So, like, can I see into my neighbour’s apartment? She’s hot.”

Me: “I wouldn’t advise that, no.”

High Guy: “I’m in California; would you ship here?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no, as you’ve reached [Company]’s Canadian branch. I can transfer you to the USA line if you like, though!”

High Guy: “You are so awesome. Transfer me. I want a telescope!”

I really hope that whoever got him on the US line was as amused as I was.

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