Not Noteworthy Enough For A Return

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Right | April 2, 2014

(I work as a cashier in a drugstore. I see a customer come in the front door empty handed as he goes to the back of the store. He comes to me with a pricey protein pack.)

Customer: “I want my money back for that protein pack. It’s $60.”

Me: “Do you have your invoice?”

Customer: “No, I forgot it at home.”

Me: “I can’t pay you back.”

Customer: “Keep it for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

(The customer comes back 15 minutes later.)

Customer: “I didn’t find the receipt, but I’m going to buy it instead.”

Me: “It’s going to cost $60.”

(The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

Me: “I can’t accept that. It’s a fake.”

Customer: “No, I’m sure it’s real. How can you tell?”

Me: “You only printed it on one side, and it’s black and white.”

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The Joker Of The Pack

| New York, NY, USA | Working | December 5, 2013

(I am partway through my graveyard shift in the word processing center at a nearby bank. I’ve stepped out to pick up some snacks, including a six-pack of a hard-to-find brand of soda that only this chain seems to carry.)

Cashier: “Oh. You can’t buy a whole six-pack of this. You have to buy just one.”

Me: “What?”

Cashier: *sternly* “You can’t buy the six-pack. You have to buy just one.”

Me: “Why would that be?”

Cashier: *suddenly smiling* “Oh. I was just messing with you!”

(The cashier rings up the six-pack. I stare in sullen silence.)

Not Part Of The 99 Per Cent

| Glendale, AZ, USA | Right | November 19, 2013

(I’m currently working the front checkout and a man walks up to purchase his items, I scan all the items and bag them.)

Me: “That will be $19.86.”

Customer: “That’s way too much. You must have scanned it wrong.”

Me: “No, everything is there.”

(I then show him the screen so he can see.)

Customer: “That can’t be right. If that is $5.00, and that is $3.00—”

Me: “But it isn’t. They are $5.99 and $3.99—”

Customer: “Hold on! Let me show you.”

(The customer gets a pen and paper from my checkout and starts adding it up.)

Customer: “See, $5.00 plus $3.00 plus $7.00 equals $15.00. It’s showing up wrong.”

Me: “But it is $5.99, $3.99 and $7.99. It makes a difference.”

(By now, several other customers are waiting, so I pull out a calculator to show him.)

Me: “$5.99 plus $3.99 plus $7.99 plus sales tax comes out to $19.86.”

Customer: “Well, you NEVER mentioned SALES TAX!”

(The customer pays for the items and leaves. I begin helping the next customer in line.)

Next Customer: “Well, that was dumb.”

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Size Matters On Sign Matters

| Canada | Right | November 7, 2013

(It is my day off, but have to go into work to pick up some milk. On my way in, I notice several large signs on the doors informing customers that the debit/credit machines are down. As I stand in line, I hear customer and my coworker arguing.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You should really put up a sign if your machines are going to be down.”

Coworker: “There are signs on all the doors.”

Customer: “Well I didn’t see them; you people should make them bigger!”

Coworker: “They’re on all the doors, and are quite lar—”

Customer: “They should be BIGGER!”

Coworker: “Well how big do you need them, ma’am?”

Customer: “BIGGER!”

(At this point the woman throws her things on the counter and storms out, flipping off my coworker in the process.)

Coworker: “I think it’s break time.”

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Fifty Shades Of Grey

| FL, USA | Working | October 24, 2013

(A coworker and I are working on stocking makeup. We are discussing the strange names shades of nail polish have like ‘back to the fuchsia’ and ‘sugar daddy.’)

Me: “Let’s get naked!”

(My coworker’s eyes go wide.)

Me: “No no no, that’s the name of this color!”

Coworker: “Oh, thank god!”

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