Not Sleeping On The Job

| Jersey City, NJ, USA | Right | September 4, 2015

(A man comes up to my till to purchase a few items. He has his two children with him, a boy and a girl, both of which I suspect are no older than five years old. The man and his children are very nice, friendly, and overall good customers. As I ring his purchases, the children are excited and happy, with the boy even giving me his own saved up money for a snack, with his father’s permission.)

Me: “Okay, sir, your total is [Total].”

(Just as he’s about to swipe his credit card, the little girl looks up at me and smiles sweetly.)

Girl: “Do you all sleep here?”

(Her father and I couldn’t help but laugh at this point.)

Me: *laughing, but politely* “No, no, we don’t sleep here. We just take turns coming here. In fact, someone else is coming when we all leave tonight.”

Girl: “Okay!” *she happily skips away with her father once the transaction is completed*

Finally Gets The Massage Message

| South Bend, IN, USA | Right | May 21, 2015

(We’ve had a man call several times trying to engage in sexual conversation.)

Man: “Do you carry massagers? Like personal massagers? The kind for female pleasure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man: “Could you suggest one?”

Me: “I can not.”

Man: “Oh! Are you a virgin?”

Me: “No, I’m asexual.”

Man: “A… sexual?”

Me: “Yes, it means I get no pleasure from sexual stimulation, or even from talking to perverted men on the phone.”

Man: “Oh…” *click*

(He hasn’t called back.)

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39

| NY, USA | Right | May 4, 2015

(A woman and her friend come up to my register to pay for her rather large order. She hands me her credit card and continues talking to her friend.)

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, your card was declined.”

(She glares at me before returning to her friend.)

Me: “Let me try it again. Still coming back declined.”

Customer: “How can that be? Are you sure you’re doing it right?”

Me: “It’s hard to do it wrong. I’ll key it in manually. Maybe my reader is broken.”

(I manually key in the card; it gets declined again.)

Me: “I’m sorry miss, your card was declined again. Do you ha—”

Customer: *to friend* “You know? I spend more money in this place than this guy makes in a week.”

Me: “That may be the reason your credit card is maxed out.”

 

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Misread The Situation

| FL, USA | Right | September 4, 2014

(I work on the front end of a well-known pharmacy as a cashier. We have four registers at the front, and only one is active right now, #3. There are signs on the other registers directing the customer to #3, with a bell included on #3 that says ‘please ring for service.’ I’m stocking an aisle, when a woman walks up to register #1.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’ll be right there to help you. Could you please go to register #3?”

Customer: “Sure, no problem.”

(I walk up behind the counter, logging onto register #3, while the woman has her items set out on register #4.)

Me: “Ma’am, could I help you at this register, please?”

Customer: “Oh, right. I guess it would help if I could read.”

Me: “Well, that’s not really my judgment to make.”

(The woman goes silent for the rest of the transaction. I ring her up, hand her her receipt, and ask if there’s anything else I can help her with.)

Customer: “No, but I certainly hope you’re nicer to your next customer!”

The Price Of Dishonesty

| PA, USA | Right | July 30, 2014

(Our store is running a sale on certain cereals. I had just finished ringing up a customer who purchased some, and have told her the total.)

Customer: “Wait, that can’t be right. The cereal is two for $4!”

(After double checking the register, I look inside the flier.)

Me: “Oh, sorry. These boxes are 18 ounces, and the sale’s only for the 13 ounce boxes.”

Customer: “No it isn’t! They’re the same price over there.”

(The different sizes having the same price was news to me, so I follow her over to the aisle to find that while only one was on sale, both had the same price.)

Customer: “See? This is just dishonest!”

Me: “Well… that seems strange, but only the smaller one is on sale.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you’re doing something this dishonest! I’m reporting this!”

(She takes out her cell phone and begins taking a picture of the price tags.)

Me: “Giving them the same price seems weird, but how is it dishonest?”

Customer: “Because they have the same price! What’s the difference between these two?!”

Me: *confused* “This one’s five ounces larger, but not on sale?”

Customer: “Forget it, I don’t want them anymore.”

(We return to the counter, where a line has started to form.)

Me: “All right, then. That will be [total].”

Customer: “That’s still not right! This item is supposed to be a dollar!”

(She marches back to the shelf and shortly returns.)

Customer: “Never mind, it was the item next to that one that was on clearance.”

(I needed manager approval for all the voided items, so I handed her money back while I started handling the other customers. When we later closed the register, we found it was short by the exact amount she owed. Apparently, she made the manager think I’d held on to her money. For how much she talked about dishonesty…)

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