This Worker Is A Real Headache

| Woodland, CA, USA | Working | September 13, 2013

(I have a migraine, but am out of medicine, so I run to the drug store, wearing sunglasses and rubbing my head.)

Clerk: *loudly* “Welcome to [store]! Did you find everything you need?”

Me: *whisper* “Yes. I have a migraine, so can we do this quickly and quietly?”

Clerk: *loudly* “Of course! Do you have a rewards card with us?”

Me: *whisper* “No.”

Clerk: *loudly* “Would you like to sign up?”

Me: *whisper* “No.”

Clerk: *loudly* “Are you sure? You could save a lot of money!”

Me: *whisper* “I’m sure.”

Clerk: *loudly* “This medicine might even be on sale!”

Me: *whisper* “I’m sure. Just let me pay.”

Clerk: *loudly* “Okay, then. Would you like a bag?”

Me: *whisper* “No.”

Clerk: *loudly* “Would you like a rewards card application, in case you change your mind?”

Customer Behind Me: “The poor thing has a migraine! Just be quiet, hand her the d*** medicine, and let her go already!”

Related:
This Coworker Is A Real Headache

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Look Into Your Heart You Know It To Be True

| Lexington, KY, USA | Right | July 22, 2013

(I’m checking out my items at the front of a store, when a couple bursts in. The girlfriend is clearly upset at her boyfriend.)

Girlfriend: “You really expect me to be all right with you hanging out with your friends on our one-year anniversary?!”

Boyfriend: “It’s been a tradition of my friends to do this for over six years! I can take you out any weekend, but [name of his friend] only gets his brother’s VHS copy of the original Star Wars movies once a year, and so we have a marathon! Come on! It has all the original scenes and characters before Lucas screwed it up!”

Girlfriend: “You all are such nerds! Who cares about the changes! If anything, it made the movies better!”

Boyfriend: “You haven’t even seen the movies!”

Girlfriend: “No real girl has! I haven’t, and…” *points at me* “…she hasn’t! Fine! Go ahead with your stupid marathon! I don’t care anymore! Do whatever the h*** you want!”

(The girlfriend storms down an aisle.)

Me: *imitating Admiral Ackbar* “It’s a trap!” *imitating C-3PO* “Let the girlfriend win.”

(Not only did the boyfriend crack up, but the check-out guy gave me his number!)

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Refunder Blunder

| Rochester Hills, MI, USA | Right | July 19, 2013

(A customer has walked up to my register carrying a bag from a competitor. We’re a well-known, national chain drugstore and our stores are fairly small. The competitor is a major big box retailer. The names are not similar and our primary color is blue; the competitor’s color is red. The competitor is located on the other end of town.)

Customer: “I need to make a return.”

Me: “Okay. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s still in the bag.”

(I reach into the bag and find a private brand item from the competitor and a receipt, also from the competitor.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, unfortunately this item was purchased at another store, so I’m afraid I can’t do a return for you here.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I bought it here yesterday!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is generic brand for a different store. It is not possible you bought it here.”

Customer: “Yes I did! The receipt is right there!”

Me: “The only receipt in this bag is from [competitor].”

Customer: “YES.”

Me: “You’re at [my store].”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Not [competitor].”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: *holding up the circular* “You’re at [my store]. I cannot accept a return from [competitor], as it’s a different company, and this is not a brand that we carry. You need to go to [competitor] to return this item.”

Customer: “Oh! You’re not [competitor]!”

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Momma Raised Him Right

| Twin Cities, MN, USA | Right | May 12, 2013

(It’s the night before Mother’s Day, and around 3 am we get a large shipment of roses. A young customer comes in and sees the huge display, which has over 100 bouquets.)

Young Customer: “Oh man! You’re killing me with all these flowers!”

Me: “What?”

Young Customer: “I just gotta get some!”

(He grabs a full bouquet of a dozen roses plus a single rose, and then comes up to my register.)

Young Customer: “My momma always told me that if you give a lady a rose on Mother’s Day, it’ll make her smile the whole day long, don’t even matter if she’s a mother or not. I’m gonna make 13 lucky ladies smile today!”

Me: “Aww, that’s so sweet!”

(I finish ringing him up, and he turns to leave. Suddenly, he turns around and hands me the single rose.)

Young Customer: “You’re lady number 1!”

(He then runs out the door before I can think of anything to say. I have to admit though, I really did end up smiling all day because of it!)

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Such A Stink Over Pink

| Alberta, Canada | Working | May 7, 2013

Cashier: “Would you like a bag?”

Me: “No, thanks. I have my own.”

(I point to my reusable bag, which is pink.)

Cashier: “That’s too pink. I can’t use that.”

(Thinking he’s joking, I laugh.)

Cashier: “No, I really can’t use that. It’s too pink.”

(The cashier opens a plastic bag and puts my purchases in it, avoiding my own bag.)

Cashier: “It’s too pink!”

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