Full Time Care(less)

| Omaha, NE, USA | Related | July 30, 2016

(The following is what I overhear after I let a customer use the store phone.)

Customer: “Come on, pick up the phone! You’re in a d*** wheelchair, I know you’re there! I left you upstairs for a reason!”

They’re About To Crack(er)

| Dartmouth, NS, Canada | Friendly | July 19, 2016

(While picking up some snacks at a local drugstore on my way to work, I overhear this interaction between two other customers, one male and one female.)

Male: *rudely* “I told you, it’s not there!” *goes over to another aisle and demands* “Goldfish crackers!”

Female: *already holding other items* “We’re going to need a cart.”

Male: “I TOLD you to get one when we came in here!” *storms off to get a cart, continuing to berate the female* “It’s because you got so much stuff!”

(The kicker? When I turned the aisle I realised it wasn’t a couple. It was an incredibly patient mother and her son, aged maybe ten years old!)

Be Glad You’re Not Invited

| Houston, TX, USA | Right | July 1, 2016

(Two guys, appearing to be in their early-to-mid 20s, walk up to the register. They place a box of fresh-breath strips, body hair removal cream, and a box of condoms on the counter.)

Customer: “WE’RE GOING TO A PARTY!”

Me: “I really wasn’t going to ask.”

Turning The Age All The Way Up To Eleven

| FL, USA | Right | March 24, 2016

(A man in his 70s walks in the front door. He seems very friendly as we exchange hellos.)

Customer: “Young man, can you help me find some decongestant?”

Me: “Absolutely, sir, follow me!”

(I show him where it is and ring it up for him and send him on his way. He comes back in three minutes later.)

Me: “You’re back!”

Customer: “Yes, I’m afraid I have to return this. It’s for 12 and over.”

Me: *not really understanding the problem* “Oh, no problem. But aren’t you over 12?”

Customer: “No, I’m 11.”

Me: “You’re 11?! Jeez, you need to lay off the cigarettes or something…”

Customer: “No, no, I misspoke!” *laughing* “The medicine is for my 11-year-old dog! I showed this to my wife and she said she wouldn’t give him adult medicine!”

Me: “Oh! Yeah, let me return the money for you and show you where the children’s decongestant is.”

On The Cliff-Edge Of Acceptable Humor

| Austin, TX , USA | Right | March 4, 2016

Me: “How are you doing today?”

Cashier: “Well, you know, some days are okay and some days you want to jump off a cliff?”

Me: “Oh, honey, don’t do that. Push someone over first, so you have something to land on when you fall.”

Cashier: *grins*

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