He’s Talking A Totally Different Ball Game

, , , , | Right | March 14, 2019

(I’m in a store I don’t technically work for, but I am counting their inventory. I’m near the candy aisle. Customers love to think that I actually work for the store, and since I know certain aspects well, I will generally help them out.)

Customer: “You guys don’t have malted milk balls here?”

Me: “If you look, there’s either Maltesers or Whoppers in this aisle.” *thinking: they are essentially malted milk balls, just with brand names*

Customer: *is not having what I just suggested* “Nope, nope. You guys don’t have malted milk balls, and they are so good.”

(Well, you can’t help everyone.)

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Unfiltered Story #142735

, , | Unfiltered | March 6, 2019

I needed a few things from the local discount drugstore one evening around 9:40, and the store was open until 10. I was walking around with my cart when the announcement was made that the store was closing in 5 minutes. I only needed shampoo and conditioner at that point so I did a quick scan of the shelves and found what I wanted. When I walked up to the register to check out there was no one there. I waited a few minutes and when no one came I decided to walk back to the pharmacy counter, where I found no one. I started calling out “excuse me, hello”?! It dawned on me I was completely alone in the store. I tried the door and it was locked. At this point some very shameful thoughts went through my mind. My conscience won however, and I used my cellphone to call the local police and told them of my predicament. They took my name and info and said they would call me back, which they did after 10 minutes. They told me to go to the back of the store, behind the pharmacy counter and push the emergency door open and exit there. I was expecting alarms to be triggered when I did it; but nothing happened. I exited the store, walked around to my car and left and never heard another word about it from the store or the police!! Very strange!!

Nuts About Coupons

, , , | Right | February 26, 2019

(I am ringing up a customer’s purchase: candy, and some cold medicine.)

Customer: “Oh, you didn’t scan this yet.” *offers me a coupon*

Me: *scans the coupon without looking, then glances at it* “Oh, this is for nuts. You didn’t get any, so the computer won’t take it off.”

Customer: “Then why is it showing up on your screen?”

Me: “The computer does that, but it says, ‘Pending Validation.’ Since you didn’t get the item, it won’t take it off.”

(I total the purchase and show her the red notification saying it won’t take the coupon.)

Customer: “But you can validate it, can’t you?”

Me: “No, sorry, I can’t. The computer won’t let me.”

Customer: “But I got nuts, look!” *shows me a bag of peanut M&Ms* “Nuts!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Where is your manager?”

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It’s Time To Lick And Make Up

, , , , | Right | November 11, 2018

(I am going shopping before work, to get an iced tea. I am in my scrubs; I work at a veterinary hospital.)

Sales Clerk: “Oh, we’re having a promotion; if you sign up, you can get discounts on makeup purchases.”

Me: *tired* “Oh, no, thanks. I never wear makeup; it just gets licked off.”

Sales Clerk: *pause* “I hope you work at a veterinary hospital.”

Me: *pause, eyes widen* “Oh! Oh. Yes. Sorry! That came out wrong!”

(She thanked me for making her laugh, but I still feel incredibly awkward!)

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Well, That’s A Whole New Ball Game

, , , | Right | September 21, 2018

(I work at a popular drug store. I answer the phone one evening.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do y’all sell ball deodorant?”

Me: “Oh! You mean the roll-on kind?”

Customer:No! Deodorant for your balls.”

Me: “Um… No, ma’am. We don’t.”

Customer: “This is bulls***!”

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