Photo Perfect Representation Of A Cheapskate

| AL, USA | Right | March 30, 2017

(I am a manager. I am called up to the front to perform a return on a passport photo without a receipt.)

Me: “Hi, so you need to return this passport photo?”

Customer: “Yes, the visa office said it wouldn’t work.”

Me: “I’m so sorry about that. I’ll get this taken care of. Now, without a receipt, I can only offer you store credit unless you have the card you purchased it with.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t want store credit. I’d like cash. I paid with cash.”

Me: “Yes, I understand, but without a receipt, the only options I can provide you with are an exchange or store credit.”

Customer: “Just a moment. I know I kept that receipt.”

(The customer begins digging through purse. My cashier shoots me a look that lets me know that she had previously done this and no receipt was found. Two minutes pass.)

Customer: “Oh, here it is!” *hands me a receipt from our competitor*

Me: “No, ma’am, this is from [Competitor] and for breath mints.”

Customer: “Oh. I guess I’ll take store credit.”

(I run the transaction through and the customer leaves. Per policy, I shred the returned photos and throw the pieces away I think I am done for the day. Twenty minutes later…)

Customer: “EXCUSE ME, MISS!” *interrupting me helping another customer*

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be with you in one moment.” *goes back to ringing up customer*

Customer: “Well, I’ll be real quick. I need my photos back.”

Me: “Just one moment, ma’am, and I’ll help you.” *finishes with customer* “Ma’am, what photos are you referring to?

Customer: “That passport photo I just returned. I want it back.”

Me: “Ma’am, after I returned them, I shredded them for your protection. I could reprint them or retake a passport photo and ring you up, though.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to pay for it. Since the picture had my face, I wanted to keep it and get my refund. Why did you shred it?”

Me: *confused* “So you wanted your money back and to keep the picture?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you brought back a defective blood pressure monitor and returned it, I would keep the blood pressure monitor. I would not let you have the monitor and your money back.”

Customer: “But I wanted everything for free. I saw it on TLC and thought for sure it would work. I heard young women managers are usually nice about this thing.”

(I can only assume she meant ‘Extreme Couponing’ or ‘Extreme Cheapskates.’ She left after trying to convince my cashier to dig through the garbage and tape all the pieces together. Some people make me wonder about humanity.)

Wish You Could See “The Back” Of This Customer

| MI, USA | Right | February 17, 2017

(I am an assistant manager for a large drugstore that sells lots of items but we are a small independent chain, and frequently the owner can only afford skeleton shifts. At such a time, I am on my own doing all the managerial stuff plus running the liquor counter, which is easily as busy as the pharmacy part of the store. I have no floor help. I’m ringing up a line of about five people when I hear someone yelling from the back of the line:)

Customer: “I need help in the back!”

Me: “What do you need in the back?”

Customer: “I need HELP in the BACK!”

Me: “Okay, as soon as I am finished with these customers I will help you.”

(I keep ringing up customers but she keeps yelling at me.)

Customer: “Why can’t you just call a stock-boy over to help me?”

Me: “I don’t have a stock-boy for this shift. We are short-handed.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you have no stock-boy? I need help in the back!”

Me: *thinking perhaps the pharmacy is less busy and the technician might be able to help her* “Ma’am, if you go to the pharmacy counter—” *which is all of five feet away* “—if they aren’t as busy perhaps the tech can help you.”

(The customer wanders over there, but returns seconds later. I only have two people left in line by now. Even they are rolling their eyes.)


Me: “What exactly do you need from the back?”

(I gather that instead of telling the tech WHAT she needed, she just demanded some vague help in the back, so of course the tech sent her back to the manager.)

Customer: “I TOLD you, I need HELP in the BACK!”

(I finish my last customer and finally, FINALLY, I hope to glean what exactly she needs from the back. I walk towards the back with her and ask her for the 50th time, what exactly she needs.)

Customer: “I want to know if you have any [Soda]!”

(I could have told her, 15 minutes ago, that we had no Soda in the back but decide I’d better make a show of checking. She is yelling the entire time about how she has been here for half an hour (not) and how it is unacceptable that we don’t have stock-boys on the premises at all times. I take several deep breaths and come back out to inform her that no, we do not have any more Soda.)

Customer: “WHAT! How can you NOT have any [Soda]? IT IS IN YOUR SALE PAPER!”

Me: “We must have run out. I can give you a rain check—”

Customer: “I don’t want a rain check!! I want to know why it took me SO LONG to get help, and WHY you DON’T have an item that’s ON SALE!”

(Incidentally, no one but her ever bought a two-liter bottle of Soda. If we order a product and have to return the same product expired, repeatedly, we cannot always get that product back.)

Me: “I told you earlier, we are short-handed. I cannot help if we ran out of stock on a certain product. I would be happy to call our sister store five minutes down the road from here to see if they have any.”

Customer: “That’s UNACCEPTABLE! Where’s your manager?”

Me: “I am the manager.”

Customer: “Well, give me the phone number of someone over your head! This is unacceptable! You people NEVER have any help! You NEVER have the products in your ad!”

(I am tired and red-faced and shaking at this point. If she would have shut the h*** up twenty minutes ago I could have been on the phone trying to call some extra help in, because it was an unusually busy day.)

Me: “There is a customer service number posted on a sheet on the wall by the front counter—”


(I did know my phone number, and the store’s phone number, and the number of the two closest stores, and the main office, and certain higher-ups I need to call occasionally for certain issues I am not authorized to handle, but I have yet to memorize the customer service number. Why she thought calling our store number, which I would answer, would help, I cannot fathom. She walked away cussing and yelling about what a horrible store it is and how stupid I must be. Yep. I am stupid… to be working in retail.)

Stop And (Meno)Pause For Thought

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | November 21, 2016

(Every month my store has items that are free after rebate. This deal is extremely popular so sometimes we run out of the items. A customer walks up to me with an ad paper and points to one of the free after rebate items.)

Customer: “I am looking for this item.”

(It was very obvious to me that English was not this gentleman’s first language. I also knew we were running low on that particular item.)

Me: “Well, sir, I can show you where it would be if we have any left. Follow me.”

(I bring him over to cosmetics area where the display was.)

Customer: “Why are we in the ladies department?”

Me: “Ah, well, sir, the item that you pointed out to me is a product for ladies.”

Customer: “Item is free after rebate, yes?”

Me: “Sir, I have to ask. Do you know what the item is for?”

Customer: “It’s free.”

Me: “Yes, it is free after rebate. But do you know what the product is used for?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “This product is a lubrication for ladies that have gone through menopause.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “It is a lubricant for women who are older and can’t have children anymore.”

(He stares at me totally shocked.)

Customer: “I don’t want that!”

Me: “I thought you might not. You have a nice day, sir.”

A Pharmalogical Liar

| AL, USA | Right | October 6, 2016

(I am checking out a customer. She then hands me a check made out to another pharmacy along with their loyalty card.)

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Drug Store].”

(Normally, people apologize and laugh and fix their check. This customer is altogether another story.)

Customer: “No, it’s not!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, this is [Drug Store], not [Pharmacy]. I just need you to change that on your check.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I never shop at [Drug Store]! I hate them! Stop lying!”

Me: “Ma’am, I promise I know where I work.” *I point to my nametag and uniform with the name of my drug store on it*

Customer: “No, I hate [Drug Store]. I never shop there!” *she wags her finger in my face*

Me: “Well, you shopped here tonight!”

(She actually walks outside the door to read the sign outside before she believes me. The customer in line behind her is laughing as she leaves.)

Next Customer: “Little did you know the wrong company had been sending you paychecks all along!”

It’s The Funniest Thing

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | September 23, 2016

(I work at a popular drug store chain in Canada. We sell pretty much everything and I work in the cosmetics/skincare department. It’s rare that I get really ridiculous requests but this one was so memorable.)

Customer: “I need that thing that you put on your face. You know what I’m talking about.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Foundation, moisturizer…?”

Customer: “You know! You put it on the thing and then put it on your face!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to be more specific. What does the product look like?”

(10 minutes later we’ve finally decided she was looking for moisturizer.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, I need that make-up thing, you know…”

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