Wouldn’t Wish Him On Your Worst Enema

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(A customer wanders around drug store for half an hour, feeling too embarrassed to ask where the enemas are.)

Employee: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Uh, I’m looking for an enema bag.”

Employee: “Oh… you want a bag? We have some bags.”

(I lead the customer to a small case full of purses in the cosmetics section.)

Employee: “Here are the bags.”

Customer: “Do you know what an enema is?”

Employee: “No…”

Customer: “I’ll ask someone else.” *leaves drug store*

Not Part Of The 99 Per Cent

| Glendale, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

(I’m currently working the front checkout and a man walks up to purchase his items, I scan all the items and bag them.)

Me: “That will be $19.86.”

Customer: “That’s way too much. You must have scanned it wrong.”

Me: “No, everything is there.”

(I then show him the screen so he can see.)

Customer: “That can’t be right. If that is $5.00, and that is $3.00—”

Me: “But it isn’t. They are $5.99 and $3.99—”

Customer: “Hold on! Let me show you.”

(The customer gets a pen and paper from my checkout and starts adding it up.)

Customer: “See, $5.00 plus $3.00 plus $7.00 equals $15.00. It’s showing up wrong.”

Me: “But it is $5.99, $3.99 and $7.99. It makes a difference.”

(By now, several other customers are waiting, so I pull out a calculator to show him.)

Me: “$5.99 plus $3.99 plus $7.99 plus sales tax comes out to $19.86.”

Customer: “Well, you NEVER mentioned SALES TAX!”

(The customer pays for the items and leaves. I begin helping the next customer in line.)

Next Customer: “Well, that was dumb.”

Size Matters On Sign Matters

| Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(It is my day off, but have to go into work to pick up some milk. On my way in, I notice several large signs on the doors informing customers that the debit/credit machines are down. As I stand in line, I hear customer and my coworker arguing.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You should really put up a sign if your machines are going to be down.”

Coworker: “There are signs on all the doors.”

Customer: “Well I didn’t see them; you people should make them bigger!”

Coworker: “They’re on all the doors, and are quite lar—”

Customer: “They should be BIGGER!”

Coworker: “Well how big do you need them, ma’am?”

Customer: “BIGGER!”

(At this point the woman throws her things on the counter and storms out, flipping off my coworker in the process.)

Coworker: “I think it’s break time.”