This Happens With Alarming Regularity

| Pennsylvania, USA | Right | September 13, 2012

(I finish a transaction for a customer and hand him his receipt.)

Me: “Thank you! Have a nice day!”

Customer: *eats receipt*

Me: *stares, speechless*

Customer: “It’s a good source of fiber!”

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Don’t Fake With Me

| New York, USA | Right | September 10, 2012

(I work at a drugstore. When someone comes in with a fake ID, we can refuse to sell to them, but we can’t actually confiscate the fake. A teenage girl walks up to the counter.)

Teenage Customer: “Just this, please.”

(She puts a pack of Budweiser on the counter.)

Me: “May I see your ID?”

(She hands me an ID that is obviously fake; the state is spelled wrong.)

Me: “What year did you graduate high school?”

Teenage Customer: “Um…”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t sell to you.”

Teenage Customer: “F*** you, you little ****! Just give me the f***ing beer!”

Me: *deep breath* “Listen. I have had a very, VERY bad day. You can leave quietly and take your fake along, or I can call call the police and they’ll come arrest you. Which would you prefer?”

Teenage Customer: *turns red, grabs her fake and runs out of the store*

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I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here, Part 3

| Florida, USA | Right | September 9, 2012

(I used to work at this drugstore store before I left to have my child; note that the bathrooms have a lock on them to avoid theft. This take place almost two years after I’ve gone. I’ve stopped in to have lunch with a former coworker, and have my daughter in a stroller when a customer walks up to me.)

Customer: “You! I need to be let into the bathroom.”

Me: *confused* “Okay…”

Customer: “Well, aren’t you going to let me in?!”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me. I’ve seen you here before!”

Me: “Well, I used to work here, but that was almost two years ago.”

Customer: “So, are you going to let me in?”

Me: “I can’t. I don’t know the code.”

Customer: “But you work here!”

Me: “Sir, no I don’t. I haven’t worked here in almost two years. They change the codes every six months.”

Customer: “You’re just being lazy and don’t want to work!”

Me: “Why would I be at work with my kid?”

Customer: “Don’t play games with me. Just open the d*** door!”

(At this point, an assistant manager who I know walks over.)

Assistant Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yes! This lazy b**** won’t do her d*** job and open the bathroom up!”

Assistant Manager: “She doesn’t work here, and you need to watch how you speak to people.”

Customer: “F*** you!”

Assistant Manager: “Now I have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “YOU CAN’T KICK ME OUT!”

Assistant Manager: “Yeah, I can. The bathroom is for paying customers only.”

Customer: “Then I’ll buy something!”

Assistant Manager: “That ship has sailed. I suggest you go next door to the fast food restaurant.”

Customer: “I’LL SUE YOU!”

Me: “For what exactly? Badgering another customer because you have some delusion that we are keeping the bathroom all to ourselves?”

Customer:“You can’t talk to me like that! I DEMAND she be fired!”

Assistant Manager: “You want me to fire someone who doesn’t work here?”

Customer: “WHY WON’T ANY OF YOU DO YOUR JOBS?!” *runs out of the store, screaming about the bathroom*

Related:
I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here, Part 2
I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here

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Good News For A Change, Part 2

| New York, NY, USA | Right | August 30, 2012

(It’s a very busy day at our drugstore. A customer comes to my register after waiting a very long time in line.)

Me: “Hello, did you find everything okay today?”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager immediately!”

Me: “Is there something I could help you with?”

Customer: “No, I want to speak with your manager now!”

(I page the manager, and mentally prepare myself for whatever argument this customer is about to unleash.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “I need to tell you… I was in here yesterday and this man was just screaming at your employees. Nothing would stop him, he was so angry! They were all trying to be so helpful and he just kept screaming! You should be incredibly proud of your employees! They handled themselves so well and never once argued back!”

(She put a smile on all of our faces. When her transaction was finished, she told me to keep the change!)

Related:
Good News For (A Heckuva Lot Of) Change

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Do As I Say, Not As A Drink

| New York, NY, USA | Working | August 28, 2012

(At my drugstore, we have a manager who berates us in front of customers. She also watches surveillance videos from days when she is not working, and then comes to our registers and yells at us for things we did days ago. One day, I get into my shift and see her working the register. I start preparing my register right away.)

Manager: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU KNOW BETTER!”

Me: “What?”

Manager: “You KNOW that you are not allowed drinks behind the register!”

(The manager gestures to my bottled water. Note: store policy is that you cannot have food or drinks behind the register with the exception of water. As we work eight hour shifts and only got a half hour break, we are in fact encouraged to keep bottled water behind our registers.)

Manager: “I can’t believe you! Throw that away NOW, or put it in the break room! You know you can’t eat or drink behind the register. I mean, you’ve only been working here for THREE years. You know better! I can’t believe you!”

(My manager glares at me. She then reaches underneath her register and pulls out her OWN can of half-drunk soda, huge bag of half-eaten chips, and multitude of open candy bars and goes home for the night. I call up my first customer.)

Customer: “I am so sorry she did that to you! I promise to be nice to you!”

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