Beyond Help

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | At The Checkout

(I’m at the pharmacy picking up some toothpaste, and I overhear two women standing behind on line.)

Customer #1: “Uh God, this is so slow.”

Customer #2: “I know, and I hate these self check-out things. I wish they would have a cashier, a real cashier, just one, for those of us who don’t want to use these things.”

Me: “Ma’am. They do a have a cashier. She’s right over there. See those people?”

(I point to the side of the store where a cashier is checking out customers.)

Customer #2: “I don’t want to walk way over there!”

Nothing Outlasts The Criticizer

| Gulfport, MS, USA | Extra Stupid

Customer: “I want to return these batteries.”

(She puts an opened pack of batteries on the counter.)

Me: “Oh, so they didn’t work?”

Customer: “Yeah, they worked for a few weeks, but now they’e broken. They’re not supposed to expire until 2015!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a ‘best if used by’ date, not an expiration date.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Batteries die. It’s just saying that you should use them before this date, not that they will last for 3 years.”

Customer: “You mean I have to buy more batteries?!”

Low On Sense

| Gulfport, MS, USA | Money

(I am a cashier. When customers are polite, I have no problem letting them slide on few cents when they are short on change.)

Me: “That’ll be $20.96.”

Customer: “I got $20!”

(He roughly slaps a $20 bill on the counter.)

Me: “Um, it’s $20.96.”

Customer: “I got a hundred.”

Me: “Okay, I can break it.”

Customer: “Well, it’s at my house. What am I supposed to do, go get it?! Just cover it, s***! It’s a couple cents!”

(I make minimum wage and can barely make ends meet. I also don’t open my wallet for rude strangers.)

Me: “It’s $0.96, so I’m not going to just give you a dollar. Do you want to put something back?”

(I start taking items out of his bag to show him what he can put back.)

Customer: “I need all that stuff!”

Me: “You need two packs of cigarettes?”

Customer: “Put the soup back, s***!”

(I void his soup, ring up the rest of his items, and give him his change.)

Customer: *as he’s leaving, sarcastically* “Thanks for your hospitality!”

Me: “You’re welcome! Have a nice day!”

(After he leaves, my coworker comes over.)

Coworker: *laughing* “What were you supposed to do, pay him for being an a**hole?”