A Pharmalogical Liar

| AL, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am checking out a customer. She then hands me a check made out to another pharmacy along with their loyalty card.)

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Drug Store].”

(Normally, people apologize and laugh and fix their check. This customer is altogether another story.)

Customer: “No, it’s not!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, this is [Drug Store], not [Pharmacy]. I just need you to change that on your check.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I never shop at [Drug Store]! I hate them! Stop lying!”

Me: “Ma’am, I promise I know where I work.” *I point to my nametag and uniform with the name of my drug store on it*

Customer: “No, I hate [Drug Store]. I never shop there!” *she wags her finger in my face*

Me: “Well, you shopped here tonight!”

(She actually walks outside the door to read the sign outside before she believes me. The customer in line behind her is laughing as she leaves.)

Next Customer: “Little did you know the wrong company had been sending you paychecks all along!”


It’s The Funniest Thing

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a popular drug store chain in Canada. We sell pretty much everything and I work in the cosmetics/skincare department. It’s rare that I get really ridiculous requests but this one was so memorable.)

Customer: “I need that thing that you put on your face. You know what I’m talking about.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Foundation, moisturizer…?”

Customer: “You know! You put it on the thing and then put it on your face!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to be more specific. What does the product look like?”

(10 minutes later we’ve finally decided she was looking for moisturizer.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, I need that make-up thing, you know…”


A Suction Reduction

| Fond du Lac, WI, USA | Bizarre

(I am a 17-year-old girl. I’ve only been working here for a few weeks, so I’m still not sure about everything we stock and where every item is. A couple in their thirties comes up to me, looking a bit nervous.)

Man: “Do you… uh, have any little suction balls?”

Me: “Um, suction balls?”

Man: “Yeah, you know…” *he mines squeezing something like a turkey baster*

Me: “Oh! I think I know what you mean. We have suction things for cleaning babies’ noses. Is that what you want?”

(The couple exchange looks and start to giggle.)

Wife: “Well, that’s not what we’re going to use it for…”

(I turn around quickly before they can see how red my face has become. I show them what they are looking for, and after they leave I relay the story to my manager.)

Manager: “Yeah, if you’re going to work here during the evening shift you’re going to have to stop asking questions.”


Be Glad You’re Not Invited

| Houston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(Two guys, appearing to be in their early-to-mid 20s, walk up to the register. They place a box of fresh-breath strips, body hair removal cream, and a box of condoms on the counter.)


Me: “I really wasn’t going to ask.”


Don’t Count On The Customer’s Ability To Count

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I work at a popular drug store running the register. A lady comes up to me in a fast food uniform and buys some food products and cigarettes. She pays for the food with food stamps and swipes another card for the cigarettes.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, there’s $2.88 left on the transaction.”

Customer: *glaring at me and throws two dollars at me* “I want a dollar put on my other card.” *pulls out other debit card*

Me: “All right, no problem.” *manually enters that she paid $1.88 in cash, leaving a dollar left to go through on her debit card*

(She swipes her card but there’s still $.23 left on the transaction, meaning that that she didn’t have enough money in her debit account.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you still owe 23 cents.”

Customer: *starts shouting* “What the h*** did you do?! I gave you two dollars!”

Me: *taken aback* “Yes, you did, ma’am. You said you wanted to put a dollar on your debit card, so I took $1.88 out of your two dollars and was going to give you twelve cents in change. After that and your debit card, you still owe twenty three cents.”

Customer: “But I gave you two dollars!”

Me: “Okay… how about I take the twelve cents I was going to give you as change and put it towards the total?”

(The customer rolls her eyes and nods. At this point, there’s a line starting to form behind her.)

Me: “All right, now your total is down to eleven cents.”


Me: *shocked* “It was 23 cents, but I took the last twelve cents out of the two dollars you gave me!”


Me: “Yes, you did! And I took two dollars in cash off of the total, but with that and what was taken off your debit card you still owe nine cents.”


(At this point I’m in complete shock and people are starting to get impatient. The customer throws a dime across the counter at me and after I give her her penny and her receipt, she glares at me.)

Customer: “Just so you know, I KNOW how to count. You’re lucky I don’t talk to your manager and get you fired! You should just admit you made a mistake!”

Me: “But… I didn’t…”

Customer: “I KNOW HOW TO COUNT!”

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