Meet The Theoretical Family

, | Learning | December 14, 2016

(In Driver’s Ed, we’re talking about what to do when your car is stuck on railroad tracks.)

Teacher: “What you should do is leave your car, and run away at a 45 degree—”

Student: “Wait, how long do you have to get out of the car?”

Teacher: “Seconds.”

Student: “Hold on, what if you have your whole family in there? Like, 20 people?”

Teacher: “Well… first of all, you would need a license to carry that many people, and have a vehicle they would fit in.”

Student: “But what IF?”


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Cool Under The Most Testing Of Circumstances

| Learning | December 7, 2016

(I take driver’s ed at the local YMCA and have a total nut-job for a teacher. He’s essentially a party animal and incredibly fun for a driver’s ed teacher. We have four written tests for the class, all of which are required to pass. I have taken three of them and have scored 74% thus far. Essentially I need to get one question right out of 25 for the last, but I am sick that day and presumably need to make it up. On the last day of class he’s handing out graduation certificates and calls my name.)

Me: “But what about the last test?”

Teacher: *handing me the paper* “Get the h*** out of here!”

(So cool. A teacher with both attitude and common sense. That test was a waste of his time and mine.)

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An Ironic Accident

| Learning | May 25, 2016

(I’m on a practice drive with a very strict Driver’s Ed. instructor. He’s spent the entire drive so far quizzing me on traffic laws. Finally, he tells me to pull over to practice parking on a large hill:)

Instructor: “Okay, next question… What is the number one cause of accidents involving teenage drivers?”

Me: *trying to answer while pulling over, straightening the wheels, setting the brake, etc* “Uh… uh… I don’t know. Not watching where you’re going?

Instructor: “No! The number one cause of teen driver accidents is talking to other people in the vehicle!”

(After that, it was time for me to drive back to the school, answering even more questions the entire way there!)

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Time To Ditch Grandma

| Learning | April 25, 2016

(I am 15 and am taking a driver’s ed course so I will be able to get my license when I turn 16. We are sitting in class one day and watching a video about skidding on icy roads. One car had just slid into a ditched but is otherwise unharmed. Then another car comes up behind it.)

Me: “That looks like my grandma’s car.”

Drivers Ed Instructor: “Well, Grandma’s going into a ditch.”

(Sure enough, the car that resembled my grandmother’s slid into the ditch and the rest of the class burst out laughing.)

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A Good Instructor Keeps You On Your Toes

| Friendly | March 24, 2016

(My driving instructor is prone to very dry humor. I make a comment on how small the gas pedal is on this particular brand of car compared to others.)

Me: “How do your students who have large feet drive this thing without pressing two pedals at once?”

Driving Instructor: *deadpan* “I chop off their toes. I have a saw in the trunk for that.”

Me: “You’re sadistic!”

Driving Instructor: “Nah, I’m just convenient.”

(Cue a ten minute conversation on how well people can live with severed toes.)

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