I am about to hand a couple their food at the drive-thru when a Chihuahua suddenly appears at the driver’s window and starts barking and snarling at me.

Me: “Oh! Wow, they came out of nowhere!”

Driver: *Endearingly* “Yeah, he’s a crazy little guy.”

Me: “Yeah, haha. Could you maybe put him aside while I hand the food over? He almost went for my hand.”

Driver: “He’s tiny! I don’t think he could reach you.”

Me: “Still, I’d rather you moved him aside while I hand the food over.”

Driver: *Moving the dog but looking inconvenienced* “When you work in a drive-thru with all this nice-smelling food, you should expect to be bitten! I worked drive-thru, and I was bitten once! I just brushed it off and got on with my day.”

The woman in the passenger seat speaks up at this.

Passenger: “Honey, you worked drive-thru at a bank.”

Driver: “You’d be surprised how badly people react to being told they’re overdrawn!”

Sorry, but you just expect me to be okay with being bitten by a dog? No, thanks.

We have a sign up next to our menu at the drive-thru.

Sign: “Condiments available upon request.”

At least once a shift, I get a customer interaction that starts with me hearing over the headset:

Customer: “That’s disgusting! Why would a restaurant feel the need to give those out?!”

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Place]. What can I get for—?”

Customer: “You’re disgusting! Why would [Fast Food Place] be encouraging—”

Me: “Oh, and condiments are available upon request. That’s condiments, like ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that, ma’am.”

Customer: “…Cheeseburger meal with a Coke… please.”

Passenger: “Haha! You thought it said ‘condoms’!” 

Customer: “Shut up!“

A woman I have never met before pulls up to my drive thru tonight, fast and seemingly furious.

Customer: *Angry.* “Get me a pack of [cigarettes]!”

I sell them to her. Normally I wouldn’t do this, but something about her compels me to ask:

Me: “Are you alright? I don’t mean to pry, but you seem a bit angry. Do you want to talk?”

Turns out, she really did. She had had a horrible day and was angry and frustrated and had no friends she could talk to.

There was no one behind her, so I gave her a sucker, leaned out the window and let her tell me her troubles. I let her talk and I just listened.

We spoke for ten minutes until I got another customer.

Me: “My window is always available for you and I work every night except Thursday.”

Customer: “I think I will be back. I have a new friend!”

She left smiling!

I am working in the drive-thru at a twenty-four-hour coffee place in San Diego. It’s Comic-Con season, and we’re not far from the convention center, so we’ve already had some characters come through.

A car pulls up, and I recognize the driver and three passengers as Hogwarts faculty: the driver is Albus Dumbledore, and the passengers are Minerva McGonagall, “Mad-Eye” Moody, and Severus Snape. It’s amazing!

Me: “Sorry, professors, we’re all out of butterbeer.”

Dumbledore: “Alas! We’ll have to settle for your finest Muggle beverages.”

They’re all a hoot as I take their orders. When I ask for payment, Dumbledore reaches out with his wand. He waves the wand over our card reader, and magically, the payment goes through!

And with that, they pull forward to the pick-up counter. That was already awesome enough, but then I hear Dumbledore announce to my coworker after they’ve been handed their drinks:

Dumbledore: “Let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”

And off they went with their Muggle drinks.

I was working my new job, and I had been told all of the procedures necessary to do it well. We gave out discount cards so if you purchased six coffees, your next one was free.

I was working the bottom window. The order taker had put through the correct size for a free drink using the free coffee discount. I got the drinks ready and handed them out.

The customer then looked at me angrily.

Customer: “Why is it a medium drink? I paid for large ones!”

I then looked at their order and receipts again.

Me: “You used your discount to get the free coffee; that size is medium. You haven’t paid for these drinks; it’s free.”

Maybe it was my seventeen-year-old mind being so blunt about it, but those had always been the rules as far as I was taught.

Customer: *Disgusted* “Well, you are just a c**t, then!”

Then, he took the coffee from me and drove away!

I closed the window and turned round to my coworkers, who were shocked at what had happened since it was my first day. I just laughed.

Me: “Well, I guess I am a c**t for not giving those p**sies what they wanted.”

I have now been working there for five years, and so far, the customer has never been right!