(My boyfriend and I are both huge Harry Potter nerds, with this conversation taking place shortly after getting frisky in his dorm room.)

Boyfriend: “So, I think I know what your Animagus would be.”

Me: “Oh? Do tell.”

Boyfriend: “You’re clearly a sex kitten.”

Me: *holding back giggles* “And what does that make you then?”

Boyfriend: *lifts up the blanket and glances down* “A horse.”

(I am a residential advisor in a dormitory at my university. The dorm that I work at also has a dining hall attached to it. We recently had a lot of snow so as RAs we have to shovel during the late hours. We also have a late night dining offering that closes at 1 am. But, due to the weather it, closes at 11 pm.)

Student: *student tries to open locked door into building and notices me shoveling*  “Hey, could you let us in?”

Me: “Are you trying to get into the dining hall?”

Student: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, they actually closed at 11.”

Student: “Don’t lie to me; I know it is open until 1!”

Me: “Due to the weather it closed at 11.”

Student: “Don’t lie to me. JUST LET US IN!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t let people who don’t live here into the dorm area.”

Student: “Just this one time you can. I just want to see if the dining hall is open.”

Me: *a little irritated because it is snowing and it’s 12 am* “CLEARLY the lights are off in the dining hall, meaning that it is CLOSED. I CANNOT let you in.”

Student: *walking away with an attitude* “Ugh, I still don’t believe you.”

(I have just moved into an independent student residence. Because it’s the summer, it’s pretty deserted. The day after my first night, another resident knocks on my door to introduce himself. He is going out later to complete an assignment that involves walking around a certain area and making observations, and invites me to go with him. Note that I am wearing a bandana with a black-and-white camo pattern to hold back my hair; while the bandana isn’t very long, my hair only reaches my ears, so most of it is covered. As we are leaving the parking lot…)

Him: “So, are you religious at all?”

(I’m a bit shocked that he would ask me this when we’ve barely known each other five minutes, but he doesn’t seem to mean anything by it, so I respond.)

Me: “Nope. How about you?”

Him: “Well, I’m a Christian, but I was just wondering because of your veil…”

Me: *nonplussed* “This… isn’t actually a veil. It’s just a bandana to keep my hair back.”

Him: “Oh…”

(I’ve been wearing bandanas like this for years. When my hair was long, it didn’t look at all like a veil, but now that it covers my hair I can see how someone might mistake it for one. Now I wonder how many people have thought it was a religious veil. I also wonder how many women wear religious veils with a camo pattern…)

(I am notorious for rarely cooking, instead opting for microwaveable food, or things that can be put in the oven.)

Me: *puts a microwave meal in the microwave*

Roommate: “Microwave food again?”

Me: “Yup. I am the Queen of the Microwave.”

Roommate: “You know, if someone asked me to describe you, I would just say ‘Microwave Food.'”

(My best friend and I are in neighboring dorm rooms. We’re both working on homework in our respective rooms. I like to have the television on while I’m reading for class, and currently have a popular show about hunting down the supernatural playing. Specifically, it is an episode where the characters deal with the myth of Bloody Mary. The characters are about to summon Bloody Mary from a mirror in order to defeat her.)

Television Character: “Bloody Mary… Bloody Mary…”

(I think I hear singing, so pause the show to get a better listen. Sure enough, someone in the dorms is singing the song ‘Reflection’ from the movie ‘Mulan.’ I chuckle at the timing, un-pause the show, and continue reading. After I finish my reading, I message my friend over the computer.)

Me: “Did you hear the singing earlier?”

Friend: “No.”

Me: “Someone was singing Reflection from Mulan.”

Friend: “Oh. Sorry, that was me.”

Me: “I was watching [Show] and they were summoning Bloody Mary when you were singing.”

(On cue, I hear uncontrollable laughter from the other room.)

Me: “…Are you laughing out loud?”