(I am the worker in this story. I have put in my two weeks notice and am winding down at my job. I had hurt my ankle and am on crutches so I am put on the drive-through lane, taking orders through a headset. I am bored and start to feel random so I begin greeting each car with increasingly insane greetings.)

Me: “Hello and welcome to [Store]. How can I put glaze on your dayz?”

(Later.)

Me: “Good afternoon and welcome to [Store], your one stop shop for doughnuts and a pop!”

(Later.)

Me: “Hi and welcome to [Store]. Remember there are no nuts in our doughnuts!”

(Later.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Store] for all your doughnut buying needs. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like a donut.”

Me: “What kind would you like?”

Customer: *points out the donut* “But use tongs to pick it up.”

Me: “Tongs?”

Customer: “I don’t want anything touched by your white hands.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I use the tongs, and complete the sale.)

Customer: *takes bite of donut* “This is good.”

Me: “I made it fresh this morning. With my white hands.”

(I’m very short, but otherwise look my age.)

Me: “I’ll have a hot chocolate, please.”

Cashier: “How old are you?”

Me: “I’m 19. Why?”

Cashier: “You look like a 10-year-old pretending to be a grownup.”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “When you’re my age, you’ll KILL to get a compliment like that!”

Me: “Um… thanks?”

(I am the only customer in the store.)

Employee: “Hi, what can I get you today?”

Me: “I’d like a bacon, egg, and cheese on a croissant, please.”

Employee: “A bacon, egg, and cheese on a…?”

Me: “Croissant. And can I also get a chocolate kreme donut?”

(The employee starts ringing up my order, and then takes my money. I am turned around looking at their bags of coffee while she grabs my donut and bags it. She hands me the bag and then goes to start my sandwich.)

Employee: “And you didn’t want cheese on that, right?”

Me: “No, I wanted cheese.”

(She starts making my sandwich and I see her pull sausage out of the fridge.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I said I wanted bacon.”

Employee: “Oh, I could have sworn you said sausage.”

(She finishes making my sandwich correctly and then hands it to me. It’s not until I get to work that I open the bag with my donut and notice she gave me the wrong one. I called the manager later on to say that I would be more understanding if I hadn’t been the only customer this girl had!)

(I come in several times a week, and most of the cashiers recognize me. Since I work retail myself, I’m always extra-careful to use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when I order. One cold day, I pop in for a cup of coffee on my way to work.)

Me: “Hi, may I please have a medium caramel latte?”

Cashier: “Skim milk, right?”

Me: “Yes please!”

(There is another customer behind me; I can hear her talking but am tuned out since I don’t know her, and I assume she’s on the phone. Suddenly she grabs the sleeve of my coat and yanks, pulling me off-balance so I have to catch myself on the counter.)

Customer: “HEY! I’m talking to you!”

Me: *totally rattled* “Don’t touch me. What do you want?”

Customer: “I was going to say I like your coat, you stupid b****, but you’re the rudest thing ever, ignoring me!”

(I am flabbergasted, but then the cashier jumps in.)

Cashier: “She not rude, you’re rude! Don’t touch people! You need to leave now!”

(The woman starts ranting and raving and we all just stare at her until she leaves.)

Me: “That was awesome!” *leaves a big tip* “Thanks, see you tomorrow!”