Filled With Creamy Justice

| Right | July 18, 2014

Customer: “I’d like a donut.”

Me: “What kind would you like?”

Customer: *points out the donut* “But use tongs to pick it up.”

Me: “Tongs?”

Customer: “I don’t want anything touched by your white hands.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I use the tongs, and complete the sale.)

Customer: *takes bite of donut* “This is good.”

Me: “I made it fresh this morning. With my white hands.”

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Lousy In-Ten-tions

| Working | May 9, 2014

(I’m very short, but otherwise look my age.)

Me: “I’ll have a hot chocolate, please.”

Cashier: “How old are you?”

Me: “I’m 19. Why?”

Cashier: “You look like a 10-year-old pretending to be a grownup.”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “When you’re my age, you’ll KILL to get a compliment like that!”

Me: “Um… thanks?”

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Dollars To Donuts She Will Get The Order Wrong

| Working | March 2, 2014

(I am the only customer in the store.)

Employee: “Hi, what can I get you today?”

Me: “I’d like a bacon, egg, and cheese on a croissant, please.”

Employee: “A bacon, egg, and cheese on a…?”

Me: “Croissant. And can I also get a chocolate kreme donut?”

(The employee starts ringing up my order, and then takes my money. I am turned around looking at their bags of coffee while she grabs my donut and bags it. She hands me the bag and then goes to start my sandwich.)

Employee: “And you didn’t want cheese on that, right?”

Me: “No, I wanted cheese.”

(She starts making my sandwich and I see her pull sausage out of the fridge.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I said I wanted bacon.”

Employee: “Oh, I could have sworn you said sausage.”

(She finishes making my sandwich correctly and then hands it to me. It’s not until I get to work that I open the bag with my donut and notice she gave me the wrong one. I called the manager later on to say that I would be more understanding if I hadn’t been the only customer this girl had!)

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Doesn’t Know Rudimentary Rudeness

| Right | September 13, 2013

(I come in several times a week, and most of the cashiers recognize me. Since I work retail myself, I’m always extra-careful to use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when I order. One cold day, I pop in for a cup of coffee on my way to work.)

Me: “Hi, may I please have a medium caramel latte?”

Cashier: “Skim milk, right?”

Me: “Yes please!”

(There is another customer behind me; I can hear her talking but am tuned out since I don’t know her, and I assume she’s on the phone. Suddenly she grabs the sleeve of my coat and yanks, pulling me off-balance so I have to catch myself on the counter.)

Customer: “HEY! I’m talking to you!”

Me: *totally rattled* “Don’t touch me. What do you want?”

Customer: “I was going to say I like your coat, you stupid b****, but you’re the rudest thing ever, ignoring me!”

(I am flabbergasted, but then the cashier jumps in.)

Cashier: “She not rude, you’re rude! Don’t touch people! You need to leave now!”

(The woman starts ranting and raving and we all just stare at her until she leaves.)

Me: “That was awesome!” *leaves a big tip* “Thanks, see you tomorrow!”

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Not Sure What The Hole-Up Is

| Working | June 24, 2013

(It’s 11 am Sunday morning and I’m buying donuts. Business is not exactly hopping.)

Me: “Good morning! I’d like three dozen assorted doughnuts, please.”

Cashier: “You need to call ahead for orders larger than two dozen. If I sell you three dozen, I’ll be almost out of stock, and won’t be able to serve other customers.”

(I glance around. The only other customer is an elderly man reading a newspaper. There is no line, and my car is the only one in the lot.)

Me: “So, you can’t sell me these doughnuts, because then you would have sold the doughnuts you’re trying to sell, and couldn’t sell them any more?”

Cashier: “That’s correct. If you’d like three dozen, you need to give us 15 minutes notice so we can make enough to fill the order.”

Me: “Okay… so can I order three dozen doughnuts for 15 minutes from now?”

Cashier: “Yes!”

(I wait 15 minutes while the employees cook more doughnuts. The only other customer has now fallen asleep at his table. No other customers enter the store. The existing doughnuts sit behind glass, taunting me. 15 minutes later, the new doughnuts are ready.)

Cashier: “There you go, sir. Please remember to call ahead next time!”

Me: “…”

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